lavandarlizard2 | announcement time!

If you've been around me for a while you may be aware that the month of August is a special time for the Chocolate Mine. This is the month that revolves around Reach Out and Smack Someone Day. This is the one day of the year when everyone is encouraged to (figuratively) reach out and smack those people in your life who have annoyed you. This includes parents, siblings, other family members, employers, employees, teachers, students, coworkers, random people encountered at retail establishments and most especially (let's bring these folks up front where you can get a *good* look at them!) any and all elected officials! Wow, don't they look nervous!

Now, we have a couple of rules for this wonderful event...
All smacking is virtual. Let me emphasize that: VIRTUAL! If you actually physically touch someone when smacking, you're on your own, and you'll be on MY smacking list next year. ^__^ I ain't gettin' sued, hai!
One smack per annoyer; the "smack" consists of a quick, open-handed, upward slap, usually to the back of the head, accompanied by a sharp "Idiot!" No closed fists are allowed; no unsuitable for mixed company expletives are allowed. Save those for your own time.
Children under the age of 15 are exempt from this procedure due to hormonal imbalances beyond their control as well as simple lack of proper appreciation for Not Annoying Your Elders. They'll either learn not to be annoying by the time they reach smacking age, or they'll join the lists of smackees. If you have kids of your own; train them so other people don't have to smack them.
Due to the extensive lists compiled by some smackers during the year, the entire month of August is open to smacking, but the actual Reach Out and Smack Someone Day is August 13, in honor of the person who made this day possible, and no, I'm not mentioning anything identifiable about her. Trust me; if ever anyone in this world needed and deserved a smack, it's her. ^.o

So get your lists out, folks! The month begins tomorrow! Let's see how many politicians, execudroids, family whiners, service sector dumbasses and just plain pains in the butt we can smack this year!

Helpful hint: run down the list of federal representatives, senators and Oval Office reptiles; it's a target-rich environment. ^__^

Happy smacking!