announcement time!

[lavandarlizard2]

If you've been around me for a while you may be aware that the month of August is a special time for the Chocolate Mine. This is the month that revolves around Reach Out and Smack Someone Day. This is the one day of the year when everyone is encouraged to (figuratively) reach out and smack those people in your life who have annoyed you. This includes parents, siblings, other family members, employers, employees, teachers, students, coworkers, random people encountered at retail establishments and most especially (let's bring these folks up front where you can get a *good* look at them!) any and all elected officials! Wow, don't they look nervous!

Now, we have a couple of rules for this wonderful event...
All smacking is virtual. Let me emphasize that: VIRTUAL! If you actually physically touch someone when smacking, you're on your own, and you'll be on MY smacking list next year. ^__^ I ain't gettin' sued, hai!
One smack per annoyer; the "smack" consists of a quick, open-handed, upward slap, usually to the back of the head, accompanied by a sharp "Idiot!" No closed fists are allowed; no unsuitable for mixed company expletives are allowed. Save those for your own time.
Children under the age of 15 are exempt from this procedure due to hormonal imbalances beyond their control as well as simple lack of proper appreciation for Not Annoying Your Elders. They'll either learn not to be annoying by the time they reach smacking age, or they'll join the lists of smackees. If you have kids of your own; train them so other people don't have to smack them.
Due to the extensive lists compiled by some smackers during the year, the entire month of August is open to smacking, but the actual Reach Out and Smack Someone Day is August 13, in honor of the person who made this day possible, and no, I'm not mentioning anything identifiable about her. Trust me; if ever anyone in this world needed and deserved a smack, it's her. ^.o

So get your lists out, folks! The month begins tomorrow! Let's see how many politicians, execudroids, family whiners, service sector dumbasses and just plain pains in the butt we can smack this year!

Helpful hint: run down the list of federal representatives, senators and Oval Office reptiles; it's a target-rich environment. ^__^

Happy smacking!

Comments

[sunhawk16.livejournal.com]

You had a snark rich breakfast this morning, didn't you DARling? You're on a roll! :D
Hey! I think all the kid's annoying friends are finally in the smack zone! All over fifteen! *griiiiin* That will SO expand my list.
Hmm... I think I'll make up sticky notes with reasons, and apply to the foreheads with that smack...
'Because you're a dumb-ass' is going right on CubeMate, and what's that word for getting your job because of your connections? Nympho... Necrophilia... Narcissism... damn; I can't think of it! Soon's I figure it out, that one's for NewBoss. ^^;

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Ah, the big corporate "N-word"; nepotism!

And I be snarky because of spending 90 minutes filling out forms, answering dumb questions, being poked, prodded and tapped and finally peeing in a cup. =p

At least tomorrow i won't have to do that. >_> I hope...

I'm considering having cards made up for next year that say something like "You have been Smacked on Reach Out and Smack Someone Day. Idiot!" Just something to leave on desks or staple to foreheads. ^.o

[sunhawk16.livejournal.com]

Nepotism! That's IT! *gets sticky ready to slap on* ^_____^

So... all prodded and done? Did they say anything? 'Uh-oh' is one you don't want to hear. That and 'ooops'. *nod nod*

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

All done for now. The doc even said it was all good, but who knows what that really means? Not sure if I want it to be good anyway, since this is the job I don't really want. Then again, it does bode well for the job I do want... ^___^

[sunhawk16.livejournal.com]

You would really think that one physical would be good across the board for any job you applied to for the next couple of months! O.o

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

I'm kinda/sorta hoping for that. ^___^

[merula31]

*pulls out her list*

Oh, I have SO been waiting for this!

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

O.O Whoa! Is that your list that just unrolled itself through my parking lot?

[merula31]

*peers down the 15* It does seem to be stretching pretty far....

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Hm... You'll need to start smacking early to get through all that... O.O And when does school start again? I know that always generates smackees... ^___^

[merula31]

Well, since it's virtual they can get smacked in groups... *grin*

School starts mid August- with perhaps a new principal... I am a wee bit nervous.

Speaking of virtual slaps, how about a practice game?
http://nigoro.jp/game/rosecamellia/rosecamellia.php

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

O.O Ooooooh....! That looks like fun! ^___^

[whispurr267.livejournal.com]

Hey, does this include smacking someone over the phone? Telemarketers that won't stop calling, or the 'hot line' help people that never seem to help yet end the call with saying 'can I help you with anything else today'?

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Anybody who makes you grind your teeth and wish for a baseball bat is fair game for Reach Out and Smack Someone Day!

[bleedtoblue.livejournal.com]

I view this as a major holiday, not only stress free but stress relieving. I have my ever expanding list in hand. Thanks for the reminder.

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Isn't it funny how the list never gets shorter? O.O