I do not exist.... O.o

[lavandarlizard2]

For some truly odd reason, I am currently enamored with weird knitting sites. This is weird because I am not an "art" knitter; at least, not usually. I've done my share of stockings for holidays, wearable socks, hats, sweaters, scarves, bags and wraps, but the fancy work usually doesn't speak to me the way utility does. Right now, though... I jones for something silly; something goofy, something utterly pointless. Like three-fingered shooting gloves. Or dolls or finger puppets. Or life-sized hippotamuses. I have all this stash, you see... and it's calling to me to use it. And I just want to do something different... O.O If anyone knows of any knitty-weird websites, point, please. I doubt I'll ever make a snatchel, but the rat-infested garbage heap is looking awfully enticing right now.... O.o

Oh, yes... The point of this post... ^___^ More Lockjaw. (I know; I am the mistress of the bleeding obvious. What can I say? ^___^ It's a gift.)




Lockjaw



Duo dozed off and on for a while. Each time he awoke Wufei was there; sometimes sitting quietly with his eyes closed, sometimes paging idly through a magazine. Damn. The guy was a great friend to sit with him when he felt so lousy himself. But where the hell was Heero? Surely it was lunchtime by now...?

"Wufei?" he mumbled finally, feeling oddly wrung out. "When's lunch? And where's Heero? Sally said he'd be back by lunchtime..."

"I don't know." He sounded a bit concerned and pulled out his phone to hit the speed dial for Heero. It rang only once before being answered. "Yuy, where are you? Duo is getting worried." He listened for a moment. "Okay; I'll tell him." He closed the phone. "He just got out of the car; should be here in a few minutes."

"Thanks, Wufei... Guess I'm finally starting to feel it. Man, I'm tired."

"You do look rather... mmm... washed out. Probably the combination of adrenalin, stress, pain and anesthesia. And the regen; that does take it out of you."

"Not as young as I used to be, either...” Duo sighed. "Man, remember when we were kids? Going for days without sleep, cutting suits and dolls to pieces by the hundreds, laughing about it... Well, *I* laughed; you and Heero did those... scary-noise things. And you were always going on about justice..."

"We were very young back then, and certainly not as bright as we thought we were," Wufei agreed ruefully.

“But we got the job done.” Duo shook his head slightly. "Wow. I can't get over it. We caught Romero Kaloogian. By accident. Right here in River City. Why the hell didn't that stupid fuck go somewhere else? He had to know that every person with a damn badge would be looking for him here. How can anyone that fucking stupid be such a successful serial killer?"

Wufei sighed and shook his head in silent agreement. Duo relaxed again, staring up at the ceiling. How far from the parking structure to here, he wondered. Even allowing for having to park up top and take the stairs or the elevator down... Assume some crowded areas inside the hospital... Assume having to show ID at least twice... Should be no more than fifteen minutes.

Hm. He'd been so zonked when Heero left that he hadn't checked for any injuries to his knight in gundanium armor. Still felt like a damn dishrag.

"Hey, Wufei?"

"Yes, my friend?"

"Did Heero get hurt in the fight?"

"Keeping in mind that this is Yuy we're speaking of, I believe he had a bruise on his collarbone. I think Kaloogian kicked him."

"Bastard," Duo muttered. Maybe he could manage a few minutes alone with that prick... Five minutes. Hell; *two* would be plenty.

Nah, couldn't do that; he was supposed to be the good guy. Think about something else...

"Hey, Wufei; have you picked out a name yet? For the baby?"

"As a matter of fact, we have."

"Well? You gonna share?"

"Only if you swear not to make fun of it."

"We're talking about my... my... un-god-child here! I'm not making fun of his name!"

"Very well. We have decided on Chang-Po Qiao Long."

Duo mouthed the names together silently. "It's got a nice rhythm. It... it flows."

"Sally chose it; Qiao is the name of one of her most illustrious ancestors."

"Your doc has good taste."

"Thank you," Wufei murmured dryly.

"Wonder what she sees in you..."

"I've often wondered the same about Yuy."

They smirked at each other.

"Wufei... Has it been fifteen minutes yet?"

Wufei checked his watch, frowning. "Twenty-one minutes," he offered.

"Is the hospital that crowded?” Duo wondered, trying not to get anxious.

"I'll call him again; perhaps he is speaking with the doctor. You know how long-winded they can be."

Before he could dial, though, the room phone rang. Wufei reached for it.

"Chang." He listened for a moment. "What? Woman, slow down; I can barely understand you." He blinked and held the phone out, staring at it for a moment as if it had suddenly become a snake, before putting it to his ear once more. "Sally, say that again. Yes. Yes. Ye~es..." He put a hand to his eyes. "Shit. But Heero- Oh. Okay. I'll tell Duo. Yes. Well, try to make it quick; you know he has the patience of a gnat. Thank you. Sally? Love you." He hung up the phone and looked around. "Where's the remote for the TV?"

"Screw the TV!" snarled Duo. "What's going on and where's Heero?!"

"Ah! Here we go." He ignored Duo's demands and flicked through the channels to find the local all-news station. The voice-over was erratic, nearly hysterical; the picture was of the outside of the local police department. A pale, harried-looking woman in a police uniform was trying to answer a bombardment of questions. Her hastily-donned microphone kept cutting out and it was hard to follow what she was saying. Wufei grabbed the laptop from Duo's table instead and began typing.

"Wufei!"

Comments

[kiria-dk.livejournal.com]

Ack! *dangles* What did Sally tell Wufei? And why on earth is he typing? *wails* I wanna knoooooow!

Seriously, though, I'm loving this more and more. Duo's impatience to see Heero, the playful sniping with Wufei... Wufei is such a good friend. And I like the baby's name. ^__^

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

All will be explained in good time. ^___^

Thank'ee; it came out better than I expected. ^__^

[bleedtoblue.livejournal.com]

Argh woman, what a cliff hanger! *waits impatiently for more* I like Duo's claiming of the un-god child.

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

He's hoping for a vacation where he can shameless indulge himself in shopping for said child. ^___^

I have to stay in practice with cliffhangers or Merula and Sunny will shun me. ^.o

[pellsfan.livejournal.com]

Just in front of what building did Heero get out of the car?! Perhaps the police station? Did Kaloogian perhaps have an unfortunate 'accident'?

I HATE cliffhangers. Please, please more! VERY SOON!!

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I hate them too. ^____^

[creamette.livejournal.com]

....I'm going to kill you O_O ok so maybe not kill cuz then you couldn't write but still....did you conspire with merula on that cliffhanger? **gonkwhimperpout** ...I'm frothing at the mouth over here!

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Cliffhanger Princess is just trying to impress the Cliffhanger Queens. ^___^ I get points for every reader who faints or froths at the mouth.

[sunhawk16.livejournal.com]

Duo banters so... lazily, when he's all wrung-out. ^____^ Mild bantering. He's cute. That's the root of all my problems, isn't it? I just adore beat-up guys. *sigh*
Hi, my name is Sunhawk and... I'm an angsty junkie...

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Lazy bantering; yeah, I think Duo's good at that. ^___^ I think we could be termed rescuers... comforting all those beat-up guys... ^.o

[sunhawk16.livejournal.com]

Step aside! Step aside! We're professional GW Rescuers! Let us evaluate the situation!
Ooooooh... what a mess. Looks like a Duo. Ok, we're gonna need a hospital bed, lots of bandages, a couple splints and a Heero...
*snicker*

[sunhawk16.livejournal.com]

Oh hey... you know that scale thing we were talking about? Look what I found? Check out the detailed views... beyond ME...
http://www.knitpicks.com/Candle%20Flame%20Shawl_PD50465220.html

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Oooooh...! O.O That's pretty! I made a shawl something like that ages ago for my mother. It was all lacy and the pattern was screwed up, so i had to figure that out along about the 20th row, but once I got past that it was easy. ^___^ Would I ever do it again? Oh, HELL no!

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

What about this one? Isn't he cute? ^___^ The only thing better would be if he came in purple. ^.o

http://www.morehousefarm.com/KnittingKits/Scarves/Dragon/

[sunhawk16.livejournal.com]

Well, once you had the pattern, you could make him in any color you wanted. Hmmm... wonder how that would work up in a heather green?

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Or scarlet, black and gold. Or even *shudder* pink? ^____^

[sunhawk16.livejournal.com]

Uh... perhaps not pink. >_>

[yanagi-wa.livejournal.com]

*falls in a heap* Daymn! Woman, the suspense will kill me! Although, it is an interesting place to stop.

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

There's that word... 'interesting'... hehhehheh.... ^___^

[sunhawk16.livejournal.com]

Hey... did you run across this?
http://www.knittingpatterncentral.com/directory/animals.php
The Hedgehog is kinda cute, and there's even a dragon!

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Oh, I used to have that way back a couple of computers ago and I lost it! O.O Yay! That's a chubby little dragon! The hedgehog is adorable! Did you see the Kiwi?! O.O;;;

And it even gave me some ideas for that bin of scrap yarn... O.o Wheeee!

[sunhawk16.livejournal.com]

I did! And what about the 'Naughty Squid'? ^o^

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

*snerk!* He reminded me of the naughty towers on the cover of Disney's Little Mermaid video that a bunch of wingnuts got all hysterical about. ^____^ He's a dicky little guy, isn't he? *snork!*

Hey, did I ever mention the hand-knitted dick warmers? ^.O

[sunhawk16.livejournal.com]

We have a copy of that version of Mermaid! ^o^ The video tape one. I'm hoping it'll be worth something someday. *snicker*

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Or at least the cover! *snerk!*

[sunhawk16.livejournal.com]

And no... I do not believe you ever mentioned warmers... O.o

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Hmm... No pictures and none on hand anymore... maybe it's time to knit some more. ^.o They're easy. Make great xmas decorations, too. ^__^

[rochan01.livejournal.com]

How about some knitted geometry (http://www.sciencenews.org/articles/20061223/bob10.asp)?

You could make yourself a kein bottle hat (http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEsummer06/PATTkleinbottle.html) and a moebius scarf (http://www.planetshoup.com/easy/knit/scarfmb.shtml) just to confuse the mundanes.

Perhaps your household could use some divine (http://www.thedietdiary.com/blog/lucia/523) protection?

If you really have a lot of time on your hands to knit, there's always this (http://www.almostrandom.com/needlesnhooks/2007/04/26/why-hillary-climbed-everest/). (but you don't have that kind of time because I'm sure the next chapter is fighting to get out. Here, plot bunny, bunny, bunny...)

Or, you could dye some of the fiber you have around the house (http://stitchymcyarnpants.com/knit06/?p=56).

And then, of course, there is just some wierd stuff (http://www.strangebuttrewe.com/crafty.htm).

[rochan01.livejournal.com]

That's "klein" bottle, goldarn it. used to be able to type...

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

The klein bottle and the moebius intrigue the hell out of me, but I think I need more quiet time than I have right now to work on them. O.o

Penis cozies! I used to make dick warmers for amusement. ^___^ Mine were just plain stockinette, though, in varigated colors. One of my friends stuffed a bunch of them and hung them on the tree at xmas.

I'm sorta/kinda working on a FSM pattern of my own. ^___^ It's currently in the staring stage. Also wondering if I could manage an IPU or perhaps Cthulu...

I've seen the mathematical knitting and crocheting several places; this was the first one: http://www.theiff.org/oexhibits/oe1e.html
Turns out, I've done stuff like that with crocheting for ages, but never knew what it was. ^___^

Those are all cool links and I've marked every one! Thanks!

[rochan01.livejournal.com]

Glad you like. :-)

It's all your doing that I'm knitting again anyway... the description of Banshee!Duo and especially the yarn store, just sucked me back into it a while back, after many years. (dropped nearly $100 just today on supplies, eek! I seem to be a Zen knitter, and in order to be at one with everything I need to HAVE one of everything! ooooo, shiny things.)


hmmmmm ... I think if I needed to knit an IPU, I would start with Disappearing Pink Fluorocarbon Leader (fishing monofilament). I mean, it's pink and turns invisible already, talk about a head start!
http://www.yo-zuri.com/Products/ProdLine/HDCarbonFluoro.htm