...the invisible dragon under the bed...
Mar. 11th, 2007 03:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lavandarlizard2...stealing your chocolate. And you wondered where the hell it all went.
I am rather drifty and cranky at the moment. Or maybe I should say for the week or the month or even the so-far-less-than-stellar new year. I feel a need to snarl and whine, and fortunately I happen to have an LJ handy for just that purpose. What a fine stroke of luck. ~.~
Just some things that are bothering/annoying me; nothing earth-shattering. Nothing I couldn't keep to my own damn self, except for the 'share the whine' thing... Maybe it's the fact of daylight-savings-time coming early (my computer is fine; did anyone really have problems?) or the equinox getting closer (is the springing of spring also properly called an equinox, or is that only summer and winter?) or maybe the financial mugging of having to pay the car insurance, three car payments, the cost of a new battery, and the cost of a new kitten stem-to-stern exam in less than three months. Maybe it's really wanting to go to a trade show with an actual plan this year, as opposed to just cruising for souveniers, and not being able to because the company is 'saving money'. Maybe it's having spent six weeks of this new year battling some mutant form of snot-plague. Maybe it's the half-a-box of Thin Mints I ate this afternoon. Maybe I'm just a lazy, whiny, opinionated bitch-lizard with too much time on her hands and not enough motivation to actually *do* anything. Whatever.
Some things just pop into my mind at random. Some things slither in under the locked and barred door, checking both directions just in case, before oozing into my lizard-brain and settling down to stay a while....
Why do males of a 'certain age' feel a need to buy over-powered cars and motorcycles and make way too much noise on city streets or in apartment parking lots? If they think they're so all that and a Pockie stick, why don't they head to the nearest track and put their money down? Just stop annoying the rest of us.
If the sign at the intersection says very clearly "No Turn On Red M-F 1500-1800" why the fuck are you honking at me at 1545? Do you want me to get out of the truck? Are you positive that *you* can intimidate *me*? Is your gun bigger/shinier/more accurate than mine? Do you really want to find out? Then get off that damn horn before I rip your nuts off and shove them down your throat.
Just because you need scissors and I have a pair on my desk does not give you permission to take my scissors. And if you rummage through my desk drawers, just because you can, be prepared for what lives in there to lose its temper eventually.
The next person who says "Smile! God has a plan for you!" to me is going to get their bible shoved down their throat or up their ass, whichever is more convenient.
The next person who tells me "big business, "the government" or "They" don't want me to know something, will be eaten. Cheap shiny shoes and all.
The next person who tells me that vaccines 'gave' my son autism, will be disemboweled, de-boned and skewered for the barbeque next week.
If you laugh at my kid, be prepared to have my teeth in your throat.
If I wanted your nutritional/dietary advice, I'd ask to see your degree.
If you have complaints about my wardrobe, get your Gold Card out and we'll go shopping.
Don't like that my truck is dirty? Here's the keys; go wash it. And none of that automatic brush crap either; hand wash and wax only.
Support your local motorcycle mechanic; buy a Harley.
Woo is as woo does.
It's not all about you; the world doesn't give a rat's ass about your self-esteem; you're not that special. Your mommie lied.
Old age and treachery trumps youth and enthusiasm every time; get used to it.
Cranky, me? O.O Not at all... I've got your chocolate. ^___o
I am rather drifty and cranky at the moment. Or maybe I should say for the week or the month or even the so-far-less-than-stellar new year. I feel a need to snarl and whine, and fortunately I happen to have an LJ handy for just that purpose. What a fine stroke of luck. ~.~
Just some things that are bothering/annoying me; nothing earth-shattering. Nothing I couldn't keep to my own damn self, except for the 'share the whine' thing... Maybe it's the fact of daylight-savings-time coming early (my computer is fine; did anyone really have problems?) or the equinox getting closer (is the springing of spring also properly called an equinox, or is that only summer and winter?) or maybe the financial mugging of having to pay the car insurance, three car payments, the cost of a new battery, and the cost of a new kitten stem-to-stern exam in less than three months. Maybe it's really wanting to go to a trade show with an actual plan this year, as opposed to just cruising for souveniers, and not being able to because the company is 'saving money'. Maybe it's having spent six weeks of this new year battling some mutant form of snot-plague. Maybe it's the half-a-box of Thin Mints I ate this afternoon. Maybe I'm just a lazy, whiny, opinionated bitch-lizard with too much time on her hands and not enough motivation to actually *do* anything. Whatever.
Some things just pop into my mind at random. Some things slither in under the locked and barred door, checking both directions just in case, before oozing into my lizard-brain and settling down to stay a while....
Why do males of a 'certain age' feel a need to buy over-powered cars and motorcycles and make way too much noise on city streets or in apartment parking lots? If they think they're so all that and a Pockie stick, why don't they head to the nearest track and put their money down? Just stop annoying the rest of us.
If the sign at the intersection says very clearly "No Turn On Red M-F 1500-1800" why the fuck are you honking at me at 1545? Do you want me to get out of the truck? Are you positive that *you* can intimidate *me*? Is your gun bigger/shinier/more accurate than mine? Do you really want to find out? Then get off that damn horn before I rip your nuts off and shove them down your throat.
Just because you need scissors and I have a pair on my desk does not give you permission to take my scissors. And if you rummage through my desk drawers, just because you can, be prepared for what lives in there to lose its temper eventually.
The next person who says "Smile! God has a plan for you!" to me is going to get their bible shoved down their throat or up their ass, whichever is more convenient.
The next person who tells me "big business, "the government" or "They" don't want me to know something, will be eaten. Cheap shiny shoes and all.
The next person who tells me that vaccines 'gave' my son autism, will be disemboweled, de-boned and skewered for the barbeque next week.
If you laugh at my kid, be prepared to have my teeth in your throat.
If I wanted your nutritional/dietary advice, I'd ask to see your degree.
If you have complaints about my wardrobe, get your Gold Card out and we'll go shopping.
Don't like that my truck is dirty? Here's the keys; go wash it. And none of that automatic brush crap either; hand wash and wax only.
Support your local motorcycle mechanic; buy a Harley.
Woo is as woo does.
It's not all about you; the world doesn't give a rat's ass about your self-esteem; you're not that special. Your mommie lied.
Old age and treachery trumps youth and enthusiasm every time; get used to it.
Cranky, me? O.O Not at all... I've got your chocolate. ^___o
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2007-03-12 12:15 am (UTC)*shares stolen chocolate.*
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Date: 2007-03-12 03:11 am (UTC)*sigh* Reach Out and Smack Someone Day isn't until August; start your list now.
Until then, I'll just have to simmer. Maybe smack a demon for practice. ^.o
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Date: 2007-03-12 01:07 pm (UTC)They were hand-towels at least... *pathetic smile*
Uhm... at least it wasn't the shampoo bottle? *wibbly smile*
And uh... I yelled at the kid when the ensuing panic of the cat woke her up. >_<;;
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Date: 2007-03-12 02:00 pm (UTC)What did the cat do? My new one just tried to slash and burn me, the first vet tech, the vet, the second vet tech and my kid in the course of an hour at the vet's office. ^__^ The vet called her 'lively'. *snork!*
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Date: 2007-03-12 02:45 pm (UTC)