aaaaah... survival....
Jun. 25th, 2006 10:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lavandarlizard2Went to the county fair yesterday. Took the dedicated public transit shuttle. Nice ride; think we'll do it again next year. Even got a discount on the entry to the fair by showing the transit ticket. Saved the cost of parking in the lot. Well worth the bus trip. ^__^
Avoided the midway, except to walk through coming and going. Same old cons as when I was a kid. Only change is that the prizes are bigger and less likely to be won. Rides look every bit as dangerous. The operators don't look quite so scuzzy, but they still don't look like anyone I'd trust my kid with. >.<
Lots of really good stuff in the fine arts exhibits; lots of pretty/shiny in the commercial buildings. The ever-present guy with the Oz accent was again pushing mops or wipers or some damn cleaning thingy. The slice-and-dice guys seem to occupy every other corner. Just how many magic slicers do people need anyway? I-pod and cell phone wardrobes were everywhere. Not owning either of those, I have to wonder, are these the new Barbie dolls? O.o Do they have to have an outfit for every occasion? Will the other i-pods and cellphones point and laugh, if yours shows up at the beach without a designer bikini? At prom without a tux? When one goes out for a night of fun and frivolity, does the cellphone also wear diamonds? Does the i-pod wear pearls? Just... wondering... And table linens... Tell me; who buys their table linens at the fair? Especially in San Diego; this is not the middle of Idaho or some remote cattle station in Australia; we do have stores, malls even that cater to that stuff. And spas. O.O Hundreds of the things. All churning and bubbling away, blaring out crappy music from their neatsy-keano hidden speakers and running DVDs on their built-in theaters.
Passed on the animals this year. I was afraid to run into any more New Zealand rabbits. They always seem to know me... O.o It was getting hot anyway and my ankle hurt where some hyper-hip soccer-mom #%@$ ran into me with her stinking godzilla-stroller containing her really quite ugly children, so we bailed early.
Once again, I am reminded of why I am not a social butterfly. =p
Oh, my! Look here! O.O More ficcage. Will wonders never cease?
Cranky? Me? >.< Of course, I'm cranky. I have to go to work tomorrow.
“Relena?”
She twitched awake at that voice and peeked out from under the blanket.
It was Heero, crouched next to the cot.
Maybe it was just a bad dream... maybe her star prince did love her...
“Relena,” he said softly. “We need to talk. Or rather, I need to talk and you need to listen; really listen, not wander off into daydreams and fairy tales.”
No, it wasn’t a bad dream. She sighed heavily and sat up, wrapping the blanket around her. It was rather chill, even though it seemed to be midday, but the blanket also acted as a shield from what she expected would be a tongue-lashing.
Heero didn’t wait for any complaints or explanations from the girl; he jumped right in.
“Relena, you’ve been following me for months now. You’ve been interfering with my missions and distracting me and you’ve come very close to getting yourself killed. I realize that it seems ‘romantic’ to you, to stand on a cliff and scream for me to come kill you, but to me it’s just irritating. We’ve all been patient with you, but last night was the last straw. That was a good location for gathering intel from a very large area; thanks to you, we lost that. We won’t be able to go back there until it cools off, and given how much trouble Duo had getting you out of there, that will not be soon.” He paused with a frown, expecting the usual denials or justifications. She had practically made a science out of convincing herself that showing up on their doorsteps or in the middle of battles was ‘helping’ them.
She cleared her throat hesitantly. Good; maybe he was finally getting through to her. He didn’t want to yell at her; he made a great effort to keep his temper in check at all times, because out of control anger annoyed him, but at this moment he was perilously close to raising his voice.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, barely audible from the protection of the blanket.
“So am I, Relena. I don’t like talking to you this way, but you just haven’t been listening. Your unexpected arrival a couple of months ago startled Quatre so; he nearly took out a hospital. My godawful error with that shuttle was bad enough, never mind the deception behind that. Would you like something like that on your conscience? And I damn near got killed when you showed up last month. It is only by the grace of Duo’s skill that I didn’t. And you nearly got yourself blown to bits in the process.” Huh. He hadn’t intended to bring that up, but dammit, it was the truth! “And Duo had to take his eyes off the enemy during another battle to avoid squashing your damn limo like a tin can, and took some serious damage to Deathscythe.” She seemed to be shrinking inside her cocoon. He hadn’t realised how angry he was at her antics; how dangerous she was to all of them. He hadn’t intended to be a part of a team, but now he was, and he liked this feeling of having people to rely on. He did not intend to lose any of them to the stupidity and romantic nonsense of some silly little girl. ~Especially not Duo.~
Definitely not Duo.
“I didn’t mean to upset you, Heero...” she whimpered. “I thought... I found you... and you’re so different... I thought you would love me, because I found you... because I’m a princess... and... and you’re a knight...”
Heero groaned and scrubbed his hands over his face. Obviously, he was not handling this correctly. But the girl just didn’t get it!
He opened his mouth with no idea of what would come out, and then shut it with a snap when she continued.
“Heero... do you... *love* Duo?”
He stared at her for a long moment. How did she figure that out? More importantly, why now? What was different now?
“Yes,” he said firmly. “I do love him.” He could just see the glimmer of her eyes beneath the shadow of the blanket.
“Like... like a brother... or like... a boyfriend?” She nearly choked on that word, he noticed. Had Duo said something to her? She hadn’t managed to figure it out in all these months. Never mind; it wasn’t important right now.
“Like a boyfriend,” he agreed. How easily that word came out; “boyfriend”. How utterly juvenile. He smirked to himself; another bit of his lost childhood peeking through. J would have an aneurism if he thought his perfectly trained soldier was behaving like an ordinary adolescent. Or maybe not. He was an odd old guy; you never knew what was going on behind those beady eyes. “I have never felt any inclinations towards women, Relena; I love Duo.”
A sniff from the vicinity of that wet gaze.
“And you didn’t kill me because...?”
“You are a non-combatant, Relena, as well as a child. I would never deliberately kill either one.” This might be a good time to suggest... “Relena, you are very naïve right now; you have led a very protected and closely monitored life. You need to learn about the world and about the history behind this conflict. It’s all very well and good to run around screaming about peace, but no one is going to listen to you, unless you can prove your arguments. Peace is not just the absence of war and it does not mean complete abdication of the need for self-preservation. Go back to school, Relena; stop giving your poor mother a coronary every time you disappear like this. Stop using your rank to bully people into helping you behave like an idiot.”
“I don’t -!” she exclaimed, but he cut her off.
“You do, Relena,” he growled in exasperation. “You are a fifteen-year old girl, still grieving the loss of your father, still reeling from the shock of discovering your true past. You bully and wheedle and issue orders you have no right to issue and people do your bidding because you are Princess Relena, heir to the throne of the Sanq Kingdom. You have no idea what you’re doing, what you are asking other people to do. You come chasing after me, your current crush, as if we were students together in some boarding school. This is not a game; it’s not acceptable for you to play with other people’s lives this way. What if OZ decided to take Pargan in for questioning? How long do you think an elderly man would last at the hands of their interrogators? How long do you think your mother would last? All the people who care about you, who love you, are in grave danger every time you set out to find me.”
Silence. Then a snuffling sound.
“Oh, god; you *hate* me! I’m so sorry, Heero... You’re right; you’re right...!” And the blanket slipped down to reveal Relena sobbing into her hands.
Okay, apparently he had gotten a little too stern with her. Great. Wonderful. He now had a crying female on his hands. Terrific.
From behind him a soft voice said, “Need a hand, Heero?”
“Thanks, Quatre,” he sighed in relief. “I think I’ve over-reached my capabilities. Dammit.” He combed his fingers through his bangs irritably.
Quatre sat beside Relena, arm around her shoulders patting gently. “Shhh... Come on, princess, don’t cry. Heero’s not trying to hurt you; he just worries about you. And you *have* been very foolish lately.”
She turned to the sympathetic voice. “I just wanted to make everything right...” she sniffled. “I just want everyone to stop fighting and get along... My father... my real father... he didn’t believe in war...”
“And look how that ended,” Heero muttered under his breath.
“I know, princess,” Quatre soothed. “My own father disowned me because I chose to fight for the rights of my people instead of letting them be ruled by despots and dictators... Fighting is never a good thing, but sometimes there really is no other way. There are no good wars, dear, but without people willing to stand up and say ‘no’ to bad people, where will the bad behavior end? This is a complicated war, many years in the making; you can’t just say ‘I won’t fight you’ and expect the other side to agree; it’s gone way beyond that.” He sighed and lifted her hand in his. “You have a great deal of potential, Relena; why not put that potential to good use, instead of making yourself a target for every Ozzie with a loaded gun?”
She snuffled and wiped at her nose; Heero handed her a tissue. Quatre thought of everything.
She looked at Heero, as if for his opinion. “He’s right, Relena. Go back to school; study your history. Not just the comfortable history approved by the Alliance, but the old history, from the pre-colony times. Study the causes of this war. People forget the past, and in doing so, they keep repeating it. Find a way to break that cycle. You’re an intelligent girl; you have a position, doubly so as the daughter of Vice-Minister Darlian and the heir of the Sanq Kingdom. Make the most of that; don’t throw everything away by acting like a silly little girl. Help us end this by making people listen to you, as a leader.”
She took another tissue and wiped her eyes. “People would listen to me?” she sniffed hesitantly.
Quatre nodded. “If you make sense; yes. If you have reasons and plans and can show people how to end this fairly, they will listen. Become a problem-solver, Relena. That’s what people really want; someone to recognize the problem and help them fix it, not some screeching harpy making unreasonable demands.”
Relena winced. “I am... I am that screeching harpy, aren’t I?” she said unhappily.
“Right now?” said Quatre. “I’m afraid you are.” Heero just nodded, not wanting to start her crying again, now that Quatre seemed to have her in hand.
“And... and it’s my fault that Duo... got hurt...”
“Yes, it is.”
“He was just trying to keep me from harm...”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry... I didn’t even think...” She puckered up again and Heero gave Quatre a “Do something NOW” look, but it was too late.
“I’ve been so jealous of him... because he’s always with you...” she whispered guiltily. “And I wished something bad would happen to him and it did and I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry, Heero!” And there went the tears again....
“Relena, Relena... It’ll be all right. Yes, Duo was injured helping you, but he’s not going to hold it against you; he’s a very good person and he doesn’t want anything to happen to you.” Quatre gathered her into his arms, rocking her gently as she slimed his last clean shirt. He rolled his eyes at Heero, who threw up his hands in exasperation.
He got up and went out of the room. Better he wasn’t there when she stopped crying again. Or maybe a cup of tea would help her. He raked his hands through his hair in frustration. Demon-spawn, that’s what women were; J was right about that, if nothing else. Totally illogical! Well... he caught himself. Civilians, at least; female civilians were totally illogical. The techs and scientists on J’s team... they were the sort of females he understood.
He found and popped the tab on a can of tea – Quatre really did think of everything – and carried it back to where Relena was just managing to get the tears stopped. She accepted it gratefully and drank the whole thing at once, in spite of the heat.
“Oh, god... I’m so sorry... I thought... All the stories... Oh, I have to apologise to so many people... I feel like such an idiot! I never even thought about *any* of this! I just... I just wanted you to-to love me.” Her eyes filled up again and Heero drew back, alarmed.
“Relena –“
“You will find someone, princess; at the appropriate time in your life,” Quatre intervened gently. “Now is not that time. You have not lived enough yet to know what you want.” Relena glanced at him with a slightly stubborn look, but it crumbled when he smiled at her. Quatre just had a way with women... Must be all those sisters. “Heero and Duo have already lived enough for several lifetimes; they are sure of what they want.” He plucked the tea can from her hand and reached for the blanket. “Now, why don’t you lie down for a while and think about this. You have plans to make for your education. We will make arrangements for you to return home once the others arrive. Have a little nap and then we’ll have some lunch. And we’ll set up some facilities so that you can bathe and wash your hair.” He shook his head in amusement. “Hiding in a dumpster! Only Duo...”
Obediently, she lay down as the smiling blond spread the blanket over her. She really did need to think; she felt like the world’s biggest idiot. Like her whole world had turned completely upside-down. Just like the day her father was murdered...
Grow up, Relena, said a little voice inside her head. It sounded oddly like Duo.
Avoided the midway, except to walk through coming and going. Same old cons as when I was a kid. Only change is that the prizes are bigger and less likely to be won. Rides look every bit as dangerous. The operators don't look quite so scuzzy, but they still don't look like anyone I'd trust my kid with. >.<
Lots of really good stuff in the fine arts exhibits; lots of pretty/shiny in the commercial buildings. The ever-present guy with the Oz accent was again pushing mops or wipers or some damn cleaning thingy. The slice-and-dice guys seem to occupy every other corner. Just how many magic slicers do people need anyway? I-pod and cell phone wardrobes were everywhere. Not owning either of those, I have to wonder, are these the new Barbie dolls? O.o Do they have to have an outfit for every occasion? Will the other i-pods and cellphones point and laugh, if yours shows up at the beach without a designer bikini? At prom without a tux? When one goes out for a night of fun and frivolity, does the cellphone also wear diamonds? Does the i-pod wear pearls? Just... wondering... And table linens... Tell me; who buys their table linens at the fair? Especially in San Diego; this is not the middle of Idaho or some remote cattle station in Australia; we do have stores, malls even that cater to that stuff. And spas. O.O Hundreds of the things. All churning and bubbling away, blaring out crappy music from their neatsy-keano hidden speakers and running DVDs on their built-in theaters.
Passed on the animals this year. I was afraid to run into any more New Zealand rabbits. They always seem to know me... O.o It was getting hot anyway and my ankle hurt where some hyper-hip soccer-mom #%@$ ran into me with her stinking godzilla-stroller containing her really quite ugly children, so we bailed early.
Once again, I am reminded of why I am not a social butterfly. =p
Oh, my! Look here! O.O More ficcage. Will wonders never cease?
Cranky? Me? >.< Of course, I'm cranky. I have to go to work tomorrow.
“Relena?”
She twitched awake at that voice and peeked out from under the blanket.
It was Heero, crouched next to the cot.
Maybe it was just a bad dream... maybe her star prince did love her...
“Relena,” he said softly. “We need to talk. Or rather, I need to talk and you need to listen; really listen, not wander off into daydreams and fairy tales.”
No, it wasn’t a bad dream. She sighed heavily and sat up, wrapping the blanket around her. It was rather chill, even though it seemed to be midday, but the blanket also acted as a shield from what she expected would be a tongue-lashing.
Heero didn’t wait for any complaints or explanations from the girl; he jumped right in.
“Relena, you’ve been following me for months now. You’ve been interfering with my missions and distracting me and you’ve come very close to getting yourself killed. I realize that it seems ‘romantic’ to you, to stand on a cliff and scream for me to come kill you, but to me it’s just irritating. We’ve all been patient with you, but last night was the last straw. That was a good location for gathering intel from a very large area; thanks to you, we lost that. We won’t be able to go back there until it cools off, and given how much trouble Duo had getting you out of there, that will not be soon.” He paused with a frown, expecting the usual denials or justifications. She had practically made a science out of convincing herself that showing up on their doorsteps or in the middle of battles was ‘helping’ them.
She cleared her throat hesitantly. Good; maybe he was finally getting through to her. He didn’t want to yell at her; he made a great effort to keep his temper in check at all times, because out of control anger annoyed him, but at this moment he was perilously close to raising his voice.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, barely audible from the protection of the blanket.
“So am I, Relena. I don’t like talking to you this way, but you just haven’t been listening. Your unexpected arrival a couple of months ago startled Quatre so; he nearly took out a hospital. My godawful error with that shuttle was bad enough, never mind the deception behind that. Would you like something like that on your conscience? And I damn near got killed when you showed up last month. It is only by the grace of Duo’s skill that I didn’t. And you nearly got yourself blown to bits in the process.” Huh. He hadn’t intended to bring that up, but dammit, it was the truth! “And Duo had to take his eyes off the enemy during another battle to avoid squashing your damn limo like a tin can, and took some serious damage to Deathscythe.” She seemed to be shrinking inside her cocoon. He hadn’t realised how angry he was at her antics; how dangerous she was to all of them. He hadn’t intended to be a part of a team, but now he was, and he liked this feeling of having people to rely on. He did not intend to lose any of them to the stupidity and romantic nonsense of some silly little girl. ~Especially not Duo.~
Definitely not Duo.
“I didn’t mean to upset you, Heero...” she whimpered. “I thought... I found you... and you’re so different... I thought you would love me, because I found you... because I’m a princess... and... and you’re a knight...”
Heero groaned and scrubbed his hands over his face. Obviously, he was not handling this correctly. But the girl just didn’t get it!
He opened his mouth with no idea of what would come out, and then shut it with a snap when she continued.
“Heero... do you... *love* Duo?”
He stared at her for a long moment. How did she figure that out? More importantly, why now? What was different now?
“Yes,” he said firmly. “I do love him.” He could just see the glimmer of her eyes beneath the shadow of the blanket.
“Like... like a brother... or like... a boyfriend?” She nearly choked on that word, he noticed. Had Duo said something to her? She hadn’t managed to figure it out in all these months. Never mind; it wasn’t important right now.
“Like a boyfriend,” he agreed. How easily that word came out; “boyfriend”. How utterly juvenile. He smirked to himself; another bit of his lost childhood peeking through. J would have an aneurism if he thought his perfectly trained soldier was behaving like an ordinary adolescent. Or maybe not. He was an odd old guy; you never knew what was going on behind those beady eyes. “I have never felt any inclinations towards women, Relena; I love Duo.”
A sniff from the vicinity of that wet gaze.
“And you didn’t kill me because...?”
“You are a non-combatant, Relena, as well as a child. I would never deliberately kill either one.” This might be a good time to suggest... “Relena, you are very naïve right now; you have led a very protected and closely monitored life. You need to learn about the world and about the history behind this conflict. It’s all very well and good to run around screaming about peace, but no one is going to listen to you, unless you can prove your arguments. Peace is not just the absence of war and it does not mean complete abdication of the need for self-preservation. Go back to school, Relena; stop giving your poor mother a coronary every time you disappear like this. Stop using your rank to bully people into helping you behave like an idiot.”
“I don’t -!” she exclaimed, but he cut her off.
“You do, Relena,” he growled in exasperation. “You are a fifteen-year old girl, still grieving the loss of your father, still reeling from the shock of discovering your true past. You bully and wheedle and issue orders you have no right to issue and people do your bidding because you are Princess Relena, heir to the throne of the Sanq Kingdom. You have no idea what you’re doing, what you are asking other people to do. You come chasing after me, your current crush, as if we were students together in some boarding school. This is not a game; it’s not acceptable for you to play with other people’s lives this way. What if OZ decided to take Pargan in for questioning? How long do you think an elderly man would last at the hands of their interrogators? How long do you think your mother would last? All the people who care about you, who love you, are in grave danger every time you set out to find me.”
Silence. Then a snuffling sound.
“Oh, god; you *hate* me! I’m so sorry, Heero... You’re right; you’re right...!” And the blanket slipped down to reveal Relena sobbing into her hands.
Okay, apparently he had gotten a little too stern with her. Great. Wonderful. He now had a crying female on his hands. Terrific.
From behind him a soft voice said, “Need a hand, Heero?”
“Thanks, Quatre,” he sighed in relief. “I think I’ve over-reached my capabilities. Dammit.” He combed his fingers through his bangs irritably.
Quatre sat beside Relena, arm around her shoulders patting gently. “Shhh... Come on, princess, don’t cry. Heero’s not trying to hurt you; he just worries about you. And you *have* been very foolish lately.”
She turned to the sympathetic voice. “I just wanted to make everything right...” she sniffled. “I just want everyone to stop fighting and get along... My father... my real father... he didn’t believe in war...”
“And look how that ended,” Heero muttered under his breath.
“I know, princess,” Quatre soothed. “My own father disowned me because I chose to fight for the rights of my people instead of letting them be ruled by despots and dictators... Fighting is never a good thing, but sometimes there really is no other way. There are no good wars, dear, but without people willing to stand up and say ‘no’ to bad people, where will the bad behavior end? This is a complicated war, many years in the making; you can’t just say ‘I won’t fight you’ and expect the other side to agree; it’s gone way beyond that.” He sighed and lifted her hand in his. “You have a great deal of potential, Relena; why not put that potential to good use, instead of making yourself a target for every Ozzie with a loaded gun?”
She snuffled and wiped at her nose; Heero handed her a tissue. Quatre thought of everything.
She looked at Heero, as if for his opinion. “He’s right, Relena. Go back to school; study your history. Not just the comfortable history approved by the Alliance, but the old history, from the pre-colony times. Study the causes of this war. People forget the past, and in doing so, they keep repeating it. Find a way to break that cycle. You’re an intelligent girl; you have a position, doubly so as the daughter of Vice-Minister Darlian and the heir of the Sanq Kingdom. Make the most of that; don’t throw everything away by acting like a silly little girl. Help us end this by making people listen to you, as a leader.”
She took another tissue and wiped her eyes. “People would listen to me?” she sniffed hesitantly.
Quatre nodded. “If you make sense; yes. If you have reasons and plans and can show people how to end this fairly, they will listen. Become a problem-solver, Relena. That’s what people really want; someone to recognize the problem and help them fix it, not some screeching harpy making unreasonable demands.”
Relena winced. “I am... I am that screeching harpy, aren’t I?” she said unhappily.
“Right now?” said Quatre. “I’m afraid you are.” Heero just nodded, not wanting to start her crying again, now that Quatre seemed to have her in hand.
“And... and it’s my fault that Duo... got hurt...”
“Yes, it is.”
“He was just trying to keep me from harm...”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry... I didn’t even think...” She puckered up again and Heero gave Quatre a “Do something NOW” look, but it was too late.
“I’ve been so jealous of him... because he’s always with you...” she whispered guiltily. “And I wished something bad would happen to him and it did and I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry, Heero!” And there went the tears again....
“Relena, Relena... It’ll be all right. Yes, Duo was injured helping you, but he’s not going to hold it against you; he’s a very good person and he doesn’t want anything to happen to you.” Quatre gathered her into his arms, rocking her gently as she slimed his last clean shirt. He rolled his eyes at Heero, who threw up his hands in exasperation.
He got up and went out of the room. Better he wasn’t there when she stopped crying again. Or maybe a cup of tea would help her. He raked his hands through his hair in frustration. Demon-spawn, that’s what women were; J was right about that, if nothing else. Totally illogical! Well... he caught himself. Civilians, at least; female civilians were totally illogical. The techs and scientists on J’s team... they were the sort of females he understood.
He found and popped the tab on a can of tea – Quatre really did think of everything – and carried it back to where Relena was just managing to get the tears stopped. She accepted it gratefully and drank the whole thing at once, in spite of the heat.
“Oh, god... I’m so sorry... I thought... All the stories... Oh, I have to apologise to so many people... I feel like such an idiot! I never even thought about *any* of this! I just... I just wanted you to-to love me.” Her eyes filled up again and Heero drew back, alarmed.
“Relena –“
“You will find someone, princess; at the appropriate time in your life,” Quatre intervened gently. “Now is not that time. You have not lived enough yet to know what you want.” Relena glanced at him with a slightly stubborn look, but it crumbled when he smiled at her. Quatre just had a way with women... Must be all those sisters. “Heero and Duo have already lived enough for several lifetimes; they are sure of what they want.” He plucked the tea can from her hand and reached for the blanket. “Now, why don’t you lie down for a while and think about this. You have plans to make for your education. We will make arrangements for you to return home once the others arrive. Have a little nap and then we’ll have some lunch. And we’ll set up some facilities so that you can bathe and wash your hair.” He shook his head in amusement. “Hiding in a dumpster! Only Duo...”
Obediently, she lay down as the smiling blond spread the blanket over her. She really did need to think; she felt like the world’s biggest idiot. Like her whole world had turned completely upside-down. Just like the day her father was murdered...
Grow up, Relena, said a little voice inside her head. It sounded oddly like Duo.
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Date: 2006-06-25 09:58 pm (UTC)