ever find yourself stuck in the middle...
May. 19th, 2005 04:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lavandarlizard2...of something you don't understand? Uncomfortable, right? Annoying, yes? Kinda makes you want to smack the person who put you there... >.< But you can't because he's your boss. *sigh*
There should be one day a year when everyone gets a free smack at someone who has irritated, annoyed or harassed them, or who is being just plain obtuse. I'm thinking the middle of August would be good... Hot, humid weather, anxiety of back-to-school, end of summer coming up fast... Yeah, August 13 sounds good to me. Reach Out And Smack Someone day. No weapons or deadly force allowed; just your favorite hand. A nice, crisp *smack!* and your personal favorite variation on "Idiot!"
Let's all start lobbying our favorite elected representatives; after all, they'll be getting most of the smacks. ~_^
And on a totally unrelated note, more BFB. (You weren't really holding your breath, were you? ^__^ Well, aren't you sweet!)
Part 089 - BFB - Statement (g)
We materialized in the parking lot of the Castle, as close as Zephyrus could get to actually seeing me to my room. Demons aren’t forbidden in the Castle, but the place is heavily warded, which limits their powers. They don’t like that much, I guess, but since Zephyrus is the only demon I know, I can’t really say for sure.
Anyway, he deposited me in the parking lot, under one of the carport structures and hung onto my hand only long enough to brush his lips chivalrously over the back of it.
I was beginning to wobble again, my emotions once again bouncing around inside of me almost painfully. I couldn’t manage more than “Thanks, Zeph; I’ll see you later.”
He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he swept a theatrical bow and vanished. It’s probably a good thing; I wasn’t in any shape to be gracious.
I slipped through the tunnel into the Castle grounds and jogged for my quarters. No one stopped me or even saw me; another good thing. My thoughts were settling down somewhat; I was beginning to see a path back to myself.
Sometimes that’s the way my mind works; it churns and churns and makes me half crazy and then suddenly it spits out mostly logical plans. I don’t know how logical any of this was, but at the moment it was making better sense than anything else had recently. It almost felt like something inside me was pushing at me, demanding I take steps.
Almost like... this is going to sound so crazy... Almost like the real “me” was pounding on a door in my head somewhere, begging for help, begging me to let him out...
I flung open my door.
And found Heero standing in the middle of my room clutching my knit blanket in his arms.
:: Oh crap! Not yet! Too soon! Not yet! ::
The voice screaming its warning in my head startled me and I backpedaled, away from my Wyvern.
He looked... haunted. Scared.
“Duo!” he exclaimed as I backed up. “Don’t run! *Please* don’t run! I’m sorry! I’m so... *fucking* sorry...” And he... folded... into a huddled lump on the floor.
:: Not *yet*! :: screamed that voice again. :: You have things to do first! ::
Everything inside my skin was tightening up again, but not in quite the same way as when Zephyrus frightened me.
Things to do... Things I had to do before... before I could...
The edges of my vision were shifting, taking on a purplish tone.
“Heero...” I heard myself say anxiously. “Heero, I need... a few minutes... Twenty minutes... Please... Let me... let me...”
He sat back on his heels, looking up at me desperately. “You won’t... you won’t go...?”
I shook my head and I swear I could feel my brain sloshing with the movement.
“I swear, Heero. I just need... some time... Please?”
He swallowed; I have never imagined that he could look so frightened. “Okay,” he said faintly. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again. “I never meant to drive you away...”
“You didn’t!” I cried. Dammit, I did *not* want him blaming himself! “Later, Heero; please? Right now, I have to... do something.”
He uncoiled from his position on the floor and stood up. He started to reach for me, but my back was against the door and he seemed to know that it wouldn’t be good to touch me right then. He looked down at my blanket in his arms, and I swear he blushed.
“It... it feels like you... Smells like you...”
“Twenty minutes; I promise.”
He nodded. “It’s all right now; you’re here, you’re safe. Take as long as you need. I’ll be...” He gestured toward his room.
“Okay...”
He turned and walked out of the room, still clutching my blanket.
I stayed leaning against the door for a long moment, just listening to the wild pounding of my heart. But I had things to do... Things I had to do... Before I could find me...
I pushed off, stumbling toward my desk, pulling my clothes off as I went. I pulled out my phone and dialed information and asked for the non-emergency number of the sheriff’s station. They connected me and I asked their switchboard for Detective Anderson.
As I spoke I was pulling the tie off my braid and unraveling the plaits. She wasn’t happy with me, or with Jake, but I brushed it aside. I said what I needed to say, and she said she’d think about it. Then she told me to come in tomorrow to sign my statement.
Nothing unusual, nothing I hadn’t expected.
That thing inside me was still pushing, still demanding that I hurry, that time was running out. The tightness was becoming almost painful.
I showered and washed my hair on autopilot and combed out the tangles, leaving my hair loose. I made a conscious effort not to think; thinking only made the feeling twist that much tighter.
~ Find me!
I don’t know how!
~ Yes you do! Find me!
Help me...
~ Find me!
How?!
~ ...him...
Heero?
I pushed open the door to his room. He was standing there, just as he had been in my room; lost, frightened, worried... Still cuddling my blanket.
...tbc...
There should be one day a year when everyone gets a free smack at someone who has irritated, annoyed or harassed them, or who is being just plain obtuse. I'm thinking the middle of August would be good... Hot, humid weather, anxiety of back-to-school, end of summer coming up fast... Yeah, August 13 sounds good to me. Reach Out And Smack Someone day. No weapons or deadly force allowed; just your favorite hand. A nice, crisp *smack!* and your personal favorite variation on "Idiot!"
Let's all start lobbying our favorite elected representatives; after all, they'll be getting most of the smacks. ~_^
And on a totally unrelated note, more BFB. (You weren't really holding your breath, were you? ^__^ Well, aren't you sweet!)
Part 089 - BFB - Statement (g)
We materialized in the parking lot of the Castle, as close as Zephyrus could get to actually seeing me to my room. Demons aren’t forbidden in the Castle, but the place is heavily warded, which limits their powers. They don’t like that much, I guess, but since Zephyrus is the only demon I know, I can’t really say for sure.
Anyway, he deposited me in the parking lot, under one of the carport structures and hung onto my hand only long enough to brush his lips chivalrously over the back of it.
I was beginning to wobble again, my emotions once again bouncing around inside of me almost painfully. I couldn’t manage more than “Thanks, Zeph; I’ll see you later.”
He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he swept a theatrical bow and vanished. It’s probably a good thing; I wasn’t in any shape to be gracious.
I slipped through the tunnel into the Castle grounds and jogged for my quarters. No one stopped me or even saw me; another good thing. My thoughts were settling down somewhat; I was beginning to see a path back to myself.
Sometimes that’s the way my mind works; it churns and churns and makes me half crazy and then suddenly it spits out mostly logical plans. I don’t know how logical any of this was, but at the moment it was making better sense than anything else had recently. It almost felt like something inside me was pushing at me, demanding I take steps.
Almost like... this is going to sound so crazy... Almost like the real “me” was pounding on a door in my head somewhere, begging for help, begging me to let him out...
I flung open my door.
And found Heero standing in the middle of my room clutching my knit blanket in his arms.
:: Oh crap! Not yet! Too soon! Not yet! ::
The voice screaming its warning in my head startled me and I backpedaled, away from my Wyvern.
He looked... haunted. Scared.
“Duo!” he exclaimed as I backed up. “Don’t run! *Please* don’t run! I’m sorry! I’m so... *fucking* sorry...” And he... folded... into a huddled lump on the floor.
:: Not *yet*! :: screamed that voice again. :: You have things to do first! ::
Everything inside my skin was tightening up again, but not in quite the same way as when Zephyrus frightened me.
Things to do... Things I had to do before... before I could...
The edges of my vision were shifting, taking on a purplish tone.
“Heero...” I heard myself say anxiously. “Heero, I need... a few minutes... Twenty minutes... Please... Let me... let me...”
He sat back on his heels, looking up at me desperately. “You won’t... you won’t go...?”
I shook my head and I swear I could feel my brain sloshing with the movement.
“I swear, Heero. I just need... some time... Please?”
He swallowed; I have never imagined that he could look so frightened. “Okay,” he said faintly. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again. “I never meant to drive you away...”
“You didn’t!” I cried. Dammit, I did *not* want him blaming himself! “Later, Heero; please? Right now, I have to... do something.”
He uncoiled from his position on the floor and stood up. He started to reach for me, but my back was against the door and he seemed to know that it wouldn’t be good to touch me right then. He looked down at my blanket in his arms, and I swear he blushed.
“It... it feels like you... Smells like you...”
“Twenty minutes; I promise.”
He nodded. “It’s all right now; you’re here, you’re safe. Take as long as you need. I’ll be...” He gestured toward his room.
“Okay...”
He turned and walked out of the room, still clutching my blanket.
I stayed leaning against the door for a long moment, just listening to the wild pounding of my heart. But I had things to do... Things I had to do... Before I could find me...
I pushed off, stumbling toward my desk, pulling my clothes off as I went. I pulled out my phone and dialed information and asked for the non-emergency number of the sheriff’s station. They connected me and I asked their switchboard for Detective Anderson.
As I spoke I was pulling the tie off my braid and unraveling the plaits. She wasn’t happy with me, or with Jake, but I brushed it aside. I said what I needed to say, and she said she’d think about it. Then she told me to come in tomorrow to sign my statement.
Nothing unusual, nothing I hadn’t expected.
That thing inside me was still pushing, still demanding that I hurry, that time was running out. The tightness was becoming almost painful.
I showered and washed my hair on autopilot and combed out the tangles, leaving my hair loose. I made a conscious effort not to think; thinking only made the feeling twist that much tighter.
~ Find me!
I don’t know how!
~ Yes you do! Find me!
Help me...
~ Find me!
How?!
~ ...him...
Heero?
I pushed open the door to his room. He was standing there, just as he had been in my room; lost, frightened, worried... Still cuddling my blanket.
...tbc...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 01:19 am (UTC)I'm still trying to decide who to feel sorrier for... Heero or Duo. ;_; The poor babies. The mental picture of Heero standing there in the middle of Duo's room clutching that blanket makes me all wibbly.
However... I am SO there for Smack the Shit day! ^____^
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 01:53 am (UTC)I really think Duo needs to knit Heero a blanky of his own... Maybe with dragons and wyverns in it... Hmmm...
*caution: whirling thoughts ahead...*
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 11:42 am (UTC)Or maybe out of a nice fuzzy, soft yarn in a certain chestnut brown color? ^__^
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 02:30 am (UTC)Darned cliffhanger.
BTW, I recommend an icon campaign. I cannot make one, but maybe someone should...picture of an irate middle-aged man, caption "Boss"...picture of a snark little kid, caption "Little Brother"...picture of a sniffing grey-haired woman, caption "Church Lady"...black with white caption "One Free Smack"...captions "Reach Out and Smack Someone Day" (however many it takes)...August 13th...picture of someone getting smacked...black w/white caption "Celebrate with us!"
Meh, prolly could be improved, but you get the idea.
We could share the icon around and popularize the holiday. I sense a movement.
Just a thought...^_^
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 04:19 am (UTC)Once again, I wish I knew how to do that stuff...
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 12:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-21 03:13 am (UTC)Help?