lavandarlizard2 | ...note to self: win lottery.

It's the only way I can foresee not losing my marbles by the handsful.

Anyway... I was severely traumatised by the past week at work. Here is the antidote.

BFB - 087d - Strange Days V

“Duo?”

I started and looked up at the sound of a familiar voice. “Q!” I haven’t seen him since the day he and Dr French brought me the... news. This is a busy time of year for him, what with the equinox and all. I pushed away from the desk and started to stand, but he drifted to my side and stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. I sank back into my chair and he leaned over and gave me a gentle shoulder-hug.

“You are looking much better,” he murmured.

Tiffany, Inazuma and Estaban drifted to the far side of the room every bit as gently as Q had arrived at my desk. Giving us privacy; gotta love ‘em.

“I feel better just being up and around,” I admitted. “I think I was starting to go stir-crazy in my room. And it’s so much easier for Heero to hover when we’re alone.” I looked around for a loose chair, but Q perched on the edge of my desk.

“He is rather protective, isn’t he?” he smirked.

I sighed. I... care a great deal for Heero, and it just melts my soul that he... that he loves me so much, but... I’m not made of glass. I survived pretty well on my own before and I can get through this now. Sure, I’ve never been so badly off balance before, but I’m getting back. Dr French explained some stuff to me that explains why I’m still so wobbly – she called it “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.” I guess my mind is still on high alert; it doesn’t want to get caught off-guard again or something. All that matters to me is when will it end? She couldn’t give me an answer on that one. It could take years of therapy and still not be completely gone; pragmatically speaking, she says it would probably be easier just to work around it. Just something to deal with. I’ll probably have ‘moments’ for quite a while, she says, but I can learn to recognize when I’m feeling uncomfortable and talk myself down from it. She suggested therapy, but I don’t see much point in going over and over the betrayal and the assault; talking it to death isn’t going to help me understand it any better. She was nice about it; didn’t try to insist or change my mind. She did say that I can call her any time if I have questions or just feel like talking. I might take her up on that; she seems like a cool person.

And that brings me back to my over-protective Wyvern... He’s in and out of the office, as usual, but he sure doesn’t like it right now. To be honest, he makes me a little nervous when he’s here. He glares at everyone; he hasn’t smiled in front of anyone but me in days. Inazuma told me that he used to be like that before I came; strict, cold and a work-a-holic. He’s downstairs, probably drawing and quartering the Wacky Wizards....

That thought made me sigh again. “He’s not boiling anyone in oil, is he?” I asked without thinking.

Q gave me a quizzically arched brow. “Oh, you mean Heero. No, as far as I know he’s just threatening them.” He waved his hand, dismissing the possibility that Heero’s threats could be pretty dangerous. “He’s actually rather fond of the old farts.” I blinked; *Q* said ‘farts’?

“But I came to talk to you, Duo. We need to do something about this ability of yours.”

I blinked again, but it didn’t make things any clearer. “My... ability?”

“We can call it the exploding toad trick, for now. I was obviously quite wrong last year to have dismissed it as a fluke.” I stared at him. Do something... Damn... The last time someone ‘did something’ about my abilities, I was cast out of my Clan.

What I’d done... It wasn’t just a random once-in-a-lifetime thing...? Stupid! Of course it wasn’t! I’d done it three times now and damn near killed one of my best friends. Damn... Was *this* what my Clan had been afraid of? Was *this* the thing they called the ‘Deathscythe’?

I swallowed, feeling cold from my hair to my toes. Oh, shit... Was I about to be cast out again...? Oh, *shit*... I think I began to shake.

Q’s hand fell on my shoulder and I looked up, waiting for the words.

“Since it seems to be a predominantly explosive talent,” he said thoughtfully, “I would like you to begin working with Madame Collier. She’s the combat instructor at the school. I’ve spoken to her and she’s looking forward to meeting you.”

O~kay....

That was unexpected.

“You... you mean, I can stay?” I just wanted to be sure; sometimes I misunderstand things.

Q blinked at *me*. “Stay? Of course, you’re staying. Where else would you be?” He looked as confused as I felt, though in a much cooler way.

“Um... I thought... I mean... I killed... him... I hurt Wufei... Why would you want me here...?”

He stared at me. “Duo...” he breathed. “We love you; you are part of our family.” He smirked then. “You are an integral part of the Clan of the Almighty Q,” he said slyly. “We’re not letting you go without a fight.” And he swooped down and hugged me firmly for a full minute.

I was so relieved; I thought I was going to cry. They weren’t going to kick me out! I wasn’t expendable... I wasn’t... defective...?

“Q... Why?”

“Because it’s just another talent, Duo; we all have them. You just need to learn how to control it.”

“You mean I can?” I said hopefully. I really thought it was like lightning; out of my control and a danger to anyone around me.

“Well, of course you can. You’re a very bright Banshee. You can start day after tomorrow. Madame Collier has a free period right after lunch. She’ll be expecting you.”

“O-okay...” Wow... Learn to control it? Maybe even make it useful? Double wow...

“Duo! Are you all right?”

I jumped as Heero swept into the room, scowling.

“He’s fine, Heero,” said Q gently. “We were just discussing his new training.”

“He can’t start that now; he’s still recovering!” Heero growled. I held up my hand and opened my mouth, but he brushed me aside. “He’s only on half-days; he hasn’t the strength to be dealing with that yet.”

“Um... Hello? I’m sitting right here, Heero.”

“”You’re not in any condition to be running around, messing with things you can’t control!”

Okay; that did it.

I surged up out of my chair, ignoring the dizziness that threatened to send me sideways. “Don’t you *dare* start that with me, Yuy! You are not my fucking mother! You *do not* tell me what to do, goddammit! I’m the one who fucking killed a man! I *don’t* want to do it again! I am going, and I’m going to get it under control, and you can just *back the hell off*!” I was right in his face, my nose less than an inch from his. He opened his mouth. I narrowed my eyes and glared for all I was worth. He closed his mouth with a snap. He took a step back.

“Yes, angel,” he whispered. “You’re right.”

I blinked; staggered, and Q grabbed my arm. Heero reached out, but Q waved him back.

“I am?” I squeaked. Cleared my throat; tried again. “You mean you aren’t going to argue anymore?”

He looked at me, then at Q and back to me again. “I... guess not. You’re... right. You do need to be trained. And obviously, soon would be... prudent.”

It was like someone was dragging the words out of him. I glanced at Q suspiciously. “You’re not... helping, are you?” He’s a powerful Wizard; he could put words in someone’s mouth if he wanted to.

He chuckled. “There’s no need, Duo. Heero’s no more a fool than you are.”

I looked back at my scary Dragon lover. “Well. Okay then. I’m glad that’s settled.” I grabbed the arm of my chair and lowered myself into it. “You know, I think I should probably call it a day. I’m just a little dizzy...”

Heero made a noise – sort of a cross between a snort and a snicker – and scooped me out of the chair. “Thank you for admitting that,” he grumbled.

My head was really spinning now. “Seemed like a good idea; give a little, get a little.”

“An excellent idea, Duo,” grinned the Wizard. He patted my arm. “You’ll do fine; start slow and small, it’ll all work out.”

Nice to know someone has confidence in me.

I looked up at Heero. “You think I can do it?” It would be nice if he did.

He chewed at his lower lip for a moment. “Yes,” he said finally. “I think you can. I just... don’t want you to wear yourself out.”

There it was, naked in his blue eyes. Fear for me. Worry. I couldn’t add to that, now could I?

“I promise I’ll take it slow. Maybe you can even come with sometimes.” He opened his mouth, probably to say he would come with every time, but I cut him off. “Let me embarrass myself in private, at least at first; okay, Yuy?”

He sighed. “All right.”

...tbc...