*fwoot....*

Jan. 1st, 2005 09:27 am
lavandarlizard2: (Default)
[personal profile] lavandarlizard2
I don't know how it is in other parts of the country, but around here there is a stupid tradition amongst certain groups of firing off guns at midnight on new year's eve. Usually the sheriff deputies are a highly visible presense, and put a damper on that sort of thing, but apparently last night was pretty busy for them, and there were at least a dozen shots fired within my hearing. Some day, some boob is going to pull the damn trigger on his decrepit, poorly maintained weapon and the bloody thing is going to take his hand - or his head - right off. I wanna be there to get pictures and laugh. Stupid gene-pool pollutants... \_/

Anyway...

Here is the next sequence... Warnings same as the first. This time we get to play inside Duo's head. Helmets might be a good thing.




BFB - Part 085a - Strange Days III



Finally, really home; my own room home. And I felt like someone had cut my strings. Or opened the drain and let all my energy, anger and fear run right out.

Things are a little hazy from that point. As near as I can remember, Heero took me into the shower and scrubbed me down, then we shifted to soaking in the big old-fashioned tub, where he held me and combed out my hair and rubbed my shoulders and damn near purred in my ear.

Now that I finally had the chance, I didn’t feel like eating; recent events had conspired to make me feel slightly queasy and the thought of food just didn’t offer any real joy. But I was thirsty; hiking-through-the-Sahara-under-the-blazing-sun thirsty. I probably swallowed a pint of water under the shower.

Once I was curled up in my own bed, I started on tea. Heero called the kitchen and requested cookies and milk, and I did manage to eat two peanut butter cookies along with the milk.

After that, I guess I fell asleep. I have to assume so, from the nightmares that carried me off. I woke up gasping, and found myself sitting on the floor of the cabin, a ferret-faced man leaning over me with a handful of chains.

I howled, and scuttled backwards in panic.

Right off the bed, onto the floor. Whacked my head on the nightstand, bruised my elbow, and about gave Heero a coronary.

He was all over me instantly, checking for injuries, while I just sat there trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

I’d had a nightmare and woken up. To another nightmare. And then I shocked myself out of that one… Damn. I could do without the package deal.

My heart was pounding like the proverbial trip hammer; I wanted to yell at it to stop that, but I didn’t exactly trust my voice. I was perfectly safe, in my own room, Heero wrapped around me like a damn blanket. What the hell was this all about?

And just as I finished that thought, that rotten, miserable little shit-voice whispered, ~ Are you *suuure*? Maybe this is all part of the package… ~

I just… lost it. Started screaming. Fought my way out of Heero’s embrace. Fell over furniture. Fetched up, gods only know how much later, in a sobbing, sweating, shaking ball on the floor.

Things… happened then. I think I remember Q and Mistress Loquinn. I remember feeling something sharp and pungent on my skin. Every time I tried to lift my head, it swam with dizziness. The room itself tilted and wavered. Things…changed. The painting over the loveseat, a benign landscape, morphed slowly into a body-strewn battlefield. A face appeared at the window, bloody, wretched, and screaming silently. Rats by the hundreds scurried across the floor and through the walls.

I couldn’t tell what was real and what was in my head. There were voices, sounds, noises that distracted and startled me. Visions and flickers and... oddly colored lights that turned everything weird and grotesque. I don’t know how long it lasted, but when I finally opened my eyes to a normal, quiet room, the shadows and the quality of light said that it was afternoon.

I hurt from the tip of my braid up to the top of my head and back down to my toes. My eyes hurt, my wrists hurt, my back hurt. My elbows, my knees, the back of my neck ached as if they should have been on fire. I felt like I’d been drop-kicked from Adak to Tierra del Fuego and back again. My stomach alternated between growling that it was hungry and dire warnings of what would happen if I tried to feed it.

I shifted my position experimentally and moaned when everything decided to hurt *more*.

“Baby?”

I rolled my head on the pillow that felt like a brick, and saw Heero kneeling next to the bed.

“Hey…” I breathed. He looked… like I felt.

“Are… are you… okay?” he asked hesitantly.

Was I? Probably not, but I sure wasn’t going to say that to him.

“Oh, boy,” I sighed instead. “Feel like I was run down by a truck.” My throat was sore, I noticed, and I had a rather disconcerting sense of loneliness. Ridiculous, because he was right there, next to me.

Maybe not, though. He was *there*, but he wasn’t touching me. His fingers were worrying the sheet, creasing and smoothing a small section. He’d been doing it long enough that the fabric looked limp and worn.

“Are *you* okay?” I asked, trying to get a closer look at him. “Can I have a drink?” It actually hurt to talk, I realised.

He scrambled to his feet. “I’m sorry, baby! Of course you can!”

He darted into the bathroom while I lay there blinking at the… what? Anxiety? Fear? Guilt? Dragons… And he claimed *I* was hard to keep up with.

“Heero,” I croaked when he came back with a glass of cold water. “What the hell happened to me?” He held the glass, angling the straw to make it easier for me to drink, and didn’t answer me.

“Heero?” He wasn’t meeting my eyes; for Heero that’s like a neon sign proclaiming guilt. And he still hadn’t so much as brushed his fingers against my skin.

Conclusions, good and bad, abounded in my pathetic little mind; I immediately leaped to the nearest one.

“Oh, gods,” I moaned. “You hate me now!” I could hear that rotten little voice laughing fit to choke in the back of my head. Much more and it would be rolling on the floor pointing at me. I did the only thing that came to mind; I tried to cover my ears. I say ‘tried’ because I could barely lift my arms. Clearly, I would not enjoy the opportunity to run to the bathroom to hide.

“*Aaaah!* I *do not* hate you!” he yelled. “Stop that! Don’t you dare think that!” he snapped.

“Then why aren’t you *touching* me?!” I wailed.

He froze, staring at me, his mouth hanging open in shock. “I… I… You- you screamed when I tried to hold you,” he whispered. “I thought… I thought it was hurting you.” His fingers drifted cautiously over to mine and crawled slowly up my fingers to my hand. His eyes never left my face. “You were screaming and thrashing around… You didn’t recognize anyone. Mistress Loquinn said not to do anything to set you off again.”

So it wasn’t only hallucinations.

“Heero,” I said with what seemed like remarkable calm, “What is wrong with me?”

He swallowed, looking down at his hand covering mine. “You were drugged… They drew blood to run tests. Mistress Loquinn and Dr French think it may have been something called Flunitrazepam or ‘rohypnol’. It’s a ‘club drug’. Some Humans –“ his lips curled in a silent snarl “– apparently think it is acceptable to give it to others, so that they can have sex with them unawares.”

Something niggled in my mind. I closed my eyes, trying to coax it closer. Damn, my thoughts were all over the place. Settle down! I wanted to scream. Stand still so I can find you!

"’Roofies’,” I said after a moment. “Goddamn it! She slipped me roofies! Fuck!” Things were suddenly beginning to drop into place; little mental dominos falling neatly into a pattern I really did not like.

Heero’s fingers tightened on my hand; his eyes looked scared. I stared at him, thinking inanely, Holy shit! I’ve managed to scare a Wyvern! Oh my goddess…

And then I realised that it didn’t hurt to have him holding my hand. It felt damn good, in fact.

“Heero, gods… Please,” I gasped, and tried unsuccessfully to reach for him. He made a sound I’ve never heard before, and suddenly I was in his arms, or he was wrapped around me, or we were merging into one being or some damn thing like that. I discovered that my hand was apparently the only part of me that didn’t hurt, but I didn’t fuckin’ care. I just know that it was the best damn pain I’d ever felt, and I was not letting go of what little grip I had on him, not for all the gold in Elfdom, as Inazuma says.

“Don’t let go,” I begged, my face hidden against his shoulder. “Please, just don’t let me start falling again…”

“I won’t,” he growled, and then, in a whisper I barely recognized: “I was so afraid you wouldn’t come back… I was afraid their damn drug would… would kill you…”

“Not gonna kill me,” I swore, “But I might have to kill someone else…” Dammit, why did she *do* that to me?! I thought we were friends.

Little pictures were beginning to flash in my head. I saw her handing me the drink, and apologizing for it being diet. I saw trees and teasing glimpses of houses flashing past me. I saw a guy with a narrow, pointed face, much closer than any stranger should have been to me. Tactile memory was also returning, dammit. Memory of hands and touches and being helpless to avoid or fight back. Helpless… Goddammit, I hate being helpless! They would pay! Or… someone would… Vaguely, I recalled something about that… Something important. But it wouldn’t come out where I could see it. I tried to concentrate, to pull up that picture. Dammit, everything else was dancing around in my head like a fucking frat party full of hamsters; why couldn’t I see that one thing?!

“Duo… Baby…”

Heero was speaking to me, I realised; had been for at least several seconds. I jerked my attention out of my head and back to the real world, and saw that my grip on his shirt had turned into a twisted stranglehold. He looked… distinctly uncomfortable.

“S-sorry,” I stammered, and turned my attention to getting my fingers to loosen up and stop trying to hang him with his own shirt.

“Don’t,” he returned softly. “I understand.”

“I’m glad somebody does,” I muttered. “Heero, I’m missing so many things, I feel like Swiss cheese. Can you please, *please* tell me what happened?”

“Baby…”

“And stop calling me that! Dammit, we went through all that months ago! I’m not a little kid! Right now, I need to know what happened and since my own head won’t cooperate, you’re gonna have to!” I was panting by the time I finished, and he held the glass of water for me again. This time I sucked it dry. “Just stop being sorry for me and help me understand what happened!”

Okay, I was taking out my frustration on him, and it certainly wasn’t his fault. I couldn’t help it right then; I was scared and floundering around in the dark this way was just not helping.

A knock on the door made me start violently. Heero growled in annoyance.

“Ignore it; they’ll go away.”

I actually laughed, but it didn’t sound very good. “Are you crazy? After what happened?! Of course they won’t go away! Answer the damn door, Heero!”

He gave me a look that would have sent Magical Creatures, Humans and most Wizards and Witches diving for cover. But he disentangled himself from me to answer the door.

Damn. I’d forgotten that little detail. Well, hopefully, he would come back and hold me again.

Why was I not surprised that it was Wufei at the door? Past experience, maybe?

Heero wouldn’t let him in; he stood with the door only half open, both of them speaking in low voices. Ordinarily, it pissed Heero off to no end to have Wufei hovering around me the way he does sometimes; it told me just how bad things had been, that they were both behaving like civilized beings.

I took those minutes to struggle into a partially upright position against the pillows. I was panting from the exertion by the time I was vertical, but I felt more in control when I wasn’t flat on my back.

I could see the door easily, and I just watched the two Dragons while I waited for my heart to stop its furious racing.

How… odd. There seemed to be a wisp of fog easing around their legs and sliding into the room. I’ve heard of weird weather phenomenon, but not usually indoors. Maybe someone left the corridor door open.

I watched it drift across the room, pausing here and there like a dog checking the terrain, and wondered at what could cause a fine mist to behave so… Ah-ha! Now I understood! It was a hallucination! The drugs were still in my system, still tweaking away at my mind, and I was seeing things again. Well, okay; I could deal with that, now that I knew what it was.

The little mist-cloud of misfiring neurons wandered about at random, checking out my closet and the bathroom, pausing for a moment at the balcony door, then drifting under and around the desk. It paused again at my wall of pictures, its edges rippling gently. It reminded me somewhat of a manta ray that I’d seen at Sea World once. As hallucinations went, I’d take this one over the rats and the screaming lampshades any day.

Then it shivered, and began to change shape, spreading upwards, almost like it was unfolding. As it did so, it began to move toward the bed; toward me. I suddenly didn’t feel so calm. I glanced at the door; Wufei and Heero were still talking quietly.

The mist had expanded to a man-sized cloud, still moving toward me. It wasn’t a uniform color anymore, either. Spots had appeared. Two spots. About the right size and in the right place to be eyes.

“Um… Heero…?” My throat was suddenly dust dry. “Heero!” A tendril reached for me. I scrabbled backwards with nowhere to go. “*Heero!* Get it away!” I threw my arms up over my head, twisting away from that inquiring bit of insubstantial ether.


...tbc...

Date: 2005-01-01 09:58 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
ACK!! ACKACKACKACKACK!!! What is happeneing to poor Duo!!?!?? *Needs to share Kracken's Woobie*

Date: 2005-01-01 03:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
Hm... The problem is, how to make a comment without blowing the next scene...

*settles for head-patting* Peanutbutter cookies?

Date: 2005-01-01 10:04 am (UTC)
merula31: by Sami (1x2)
From: [personal profile] merula31
*shivers* Now I'm creeped out. I started out feeling bad for Duo, but now I'm just plain freaked.

*hides under covers waiting for more*

Date: 2005-01-01 03:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
I must have a higher creep-out tolerance...

Date: 2005-01-01 10:21 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Umm... I hope it's Duo's daddy just bringing some Get Well flowers?

Date: 2005-01-01 03:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
That would be nice, wouldn't it?

Date: 2005-01-01 01:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dee-ez-bee.livejournal.com
Thank you for the warning!!

Yea, I read it and am creeped out too!!

(proceeding with caution)

Date: 2005-01-01 03:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
Is this because I laugh at Evil Dead II?

Date: 2005-01-01 05:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dee-ez-bee.livejournal.com
uhm... not sure! But I don't deal with too much blood and guts.

Yeah, Kracken's Burning Candle is almost too much as well!

Date: 2005-01-01 07:05 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
No kidding, between Plaidy here, Kracken and Sunhawk, it's a wonder that I haven't been checked into the nearest loony bin muttering epithets against Duo-angst and torture!

Date: 2005-01-01 09:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
Um... You mean you *aren't*?

Oh, dear... 0.0;

Date: 2005-01-02 06:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sunhawk16.livejournal.com
Hmmm... we obviously aren't trying hard enough. ^^;

Date: 2005-01-01 07:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lordryous.livejournal.com
hmm, seems daddy's finally coming round to see about his child again, bout damn time, i think. though honestly i think he's the one who did the whol;e bloody walls thing in the cabin.
cant wait to find out

Date: 2005-01-01 09:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
Well, there is an end to this... somewhere.

Date: 2005-01-01 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tokie.livejournal.com
So Dad's checking up on Duo, now? and maybe had something to do with what happened at the cabin?

*waiting for more*

Date: 2005-01-01 09:51 pm (UTC)

Date: 2005-01-02 06:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sunhawk16.livejournal.com
Nasty Julie and nasty drugs. Poor Duo; that shit really did a number on him. And poor Heero... the waiting and the watching are always the hardest. *chews nails*

Date: 2005-01-02 07:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
Waiting and watching... Is that referring to Heero or to you? I swear the next partlet is going up just as soon as I can find the copy and paste buttons... I know they were just here somewhere...

Date: 2005-01-02 07:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sunhawk16.livejournal.com
Heero. *sigh* I'm on the final moments of my 'morning to myself' and probably won't be back on any more today. *sigh* So, I'd be waiting and watching, but instead I'll probably be doing laundry and cleaning the cat box... ~_~

Date: 2005-01-02 10:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
Ooh; ick! I did laundry yesterday; it was strangely... comfortable. But the litter box is calling me, dammit. As well as the vacuum-deprived carpet, a few cubic yards of cobwebs and a pile of...junk in the dining room that seems to have achieved spontaneous life - I swear it's breathing.

I would suggest a nice relaxing walk, but you have snow, right? Bleh.

Date: 2005-01-03 06:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sunhawk16.livejournal.com
I was off for a damn week and was disgustingly unproductive. I even got up the energy to tackle the craft cabinet, but the first box I pulled out was hubby's stuff and I hit the brick wall of 'I'll look at it later' and I just sort of lost my momentum. *sigh*
As for the snow... would you believe it's gone? O.o Sixteen freaking inches... I'm still trying to figure out where it went.

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