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lavandarlizard2I seem to do my most prolific writing when I am totally tied in knots about something or other. If it wasn't for the fact that this will eventually kill me, it would be a Good Thing. Oh well...
...be advised of sudden POV changes...
BFB - Part 079d - Mommie Darling
I guess I’d forgotten that Faiesa wasn’t at breakfast; she didn’t have all the answers to all the questions about me. And she wasn’t interested so much in what I knew as what I didn’t know.
Faiesa questioned me pretty thoroughly, though never rudely, about my father. I managed to get through that inquisition without lying but also without actually giving out much information. I just stuck to the literal truth, which was that I really didn’t *know* what or who my father was. I had plenty of theories and tons of speculation, but no concrete, absolutely positive facts. I kind of got the feeling that she knew what I was doing, and let me get away with it only on Heero’s account.
I was feeling more than a little put-upon by the time she finished. I don’t like thinking about my father too much. I have way too many questions and no idea where or how to find the answers, and I don’t care much for those sorts of unsolved mysteries.
But finally the conversation turned to Kohaku, and she chattered on about her life in Kiba’s Clan. I have to confess that I missed most of it. Faiesa’s questioning left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth. I guess I had expected the same unconditional acceptance that I’d gotten from the IchiBan; it felt a little unfair that Heero’s great-aunt seemed almost suspicious of me.
~*~*~*~
I was attempting to keep up three different conversations with my children and Kohaku when I realised that Duo had gotten... quiet. His conversation with Faiesa had finished, but he sat silently, fingers aimlessly worrying a corner of the cloth napkin. And he wasn’t eating, just staring at his plate.
My Banshee was upset. Given my great-aunt’s propensity for autocratic behavior, I leapt to the obvious conclusion.
I untangled myself gently from my children and stood up, reaching for Duo’s hand.
“Come with me,” I said quietly, pulling him to his feet. He said nothing, but the relief was clear in his eyes. I led him outside and into the garden a good distance from the house before turning to take him in my arms. “What is wrong? What has she said to make you so quiet?” Given that he had allowed me to arbitrarily drag him out of the house without a single protest, I knew something was bothering him.
“Nothing,” he whispered, and I just managed to contain my disbelieving snort. “I just don’t know how to answer her... She wants to know about my father... And even when I’ve said I know nothing about him, she keeps coming back to it. Like... like she’s trying to... to catch me lying.” He blew out a great sigh, fluttering his bangs. “Even Giniro didn’t make such a big deal of it.”
“Faiesa is the chief of Clan Security; she tends to err on the side of caution. Although, sometimes she forgets that not every question has an answer. Or rather, that not every question has an answer that she is entitled to,” I murmured. “I will speak to her.”
He rested his forehead against my shoulder, sighing again. “I should have asked Teal for more information... But I hardly ever think about it now... I’m so used to... just not knowing. It threw me a little, I guess...”
“I will see that there are no more of those questions,” I promised. It bothered him a great deal more than he admitted; there were no declarations that he could fight his own battles.
My Banshee is a fiercely independent creature, but there are times when even he needs to lean. They don’t happen often; even after that odd occurrence in Indianapolis he refused to lean. Being what I am, I took a very guilty pleasure in supporting him after his aunt’s death. To have this moment now is, for me, a gift of sorts. I have to remind myself that his strength is one of the things I love about him.
He looked up at me with a determinedly bright smile. “I should get used to her direct approach, shouldn’t I?”
“Well... You should always assume that she will go for the jugular. The only one in the Clan tougher than Faiesa in Giniro.”
He licked his index finger and pantomimed making a mark in midair. “Check. ‘Faiesa one; Banshee zero.’”
I chuckled and rocked him back and forth in my arms. “I think it’s closer to even. You didn’t get mad, and I can tell that she’s impressed with you. Maybe you should give some thought to just explaining your background.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment and I didn’t push.
“Did she like your father?”
“Hmm...” I had to stop and think about that one. I have never heard otherwise, but then, I might not, given the Clan’s sense of loyalty to Giniro and to my mother. “I don’t think she was as spell-bound as Giniro apparently was, but I really don’t know for sure. Maybe I’ll ask her.”
“Oh, crap!” he cried, horrified. “Don’t do that, Heero! It’s not that important!”
“No,” I said feeling both sly and contentious; “I want to know. Don’t worry; I won’t do it now, but I will do it.”
He rolled his eyes in theatrical despair, but allowed me to lead him back to the house.
~*~*~*~
Below the level of the table, Heero’s hand sought mine, fingers lacing together for a reassuring squeeze. I looked up to find him watching me intently. I know he read every chaotic thought in my head. I wanted him to defend me; I didn’t want to precipitate a scene; I wanted his family to like me; I didn’t want to have to empty my soul to accomplish that. At that moment, I was something of an emotional pretzel. Without salt. He turned back to the table and reeled off a long string of Wyvern.
Faiesa gave me an intense look, and the flush just exploded over me. I thought for a moment she was going to be angry, but instead she said softly, “Forgive me, Banshee. Sometimes my curiosity is... inappropriate. I did not intend to offend you.”
It took some concentration to get my mouth moving. “’So’kay...” I muttered in embarrassment. “I just don’t know much about my father; all I’ve ever heard are rumors and half-truths. I hate to... to say something that turns out later to not be true...”
“I understand,” she said gently. “I was not aware of your unique situation.”
My heart almost jumped out of my chest. I turned on Heero, fully ready to rip *his* heart out. My god! What had he said to her?!
But Faiesa intervened before I could commit Wyvernicide.
“Heero only said that your father was not a Banshee, and that his information died with your mother. True?” she murmured, eyeing me over the rim of her teacup.
Technically, yes...
I nodded silently. I had not forgotten that Kohaku and Kiba were with us, listening to all this. I was suddenly anxious that Kohaku not have questions about my fitness to spend time with her children.
“I was never able to get any information from my aunt. I think maybe my mother never told her very much about him...” I looked down at my hands, wondering how I could go this long without being more curious. Surely that was some kind of flaw in me; that I mostly didn’t really care what my father was or was not. He wasn’t a Banshee or an Elf or a Human or anything else that I could name; did it even matter anymore? And no, I was not going to offer up the general opinion that I was the son of Death. I didn’t think that would go very far to cement their regard of me.
As if reading my thoughts, Heero said quietly, “He is my Chosen, Faiesa; there is no evil in him.”
I blinked at him, and he smiled at me; that warm, heartfelt smile that he gives to no one else. I just wanted to throw myself into his arms.
“You are right, Heero,” said the elder Wyvern. “There is not a drop of evil in this one, though there be many other things.”
I blinked at Faiesa. She smiled and gave me a slow wink. And all the anxiety, all the fear of her rejection just flowed right out of me. She didn’t hate me!
With that, Faiesa uncoiled from her position across from me. “If you children will excuse me, I have a rather boring meeting to chair.”
Like the good children we were, we all rose and took our leave in a very anticlimactic fashion.
It wasn’t until we were all outside and Heero was hugging his children again, that I realised that Kohaku and Kiba were preparing to leave us.
Kohaku came and gave me a hug. “Don’t let the mean old dragon-lady scare you, Duo,” she directed lightly. “Faiesa’s a first-rate judge of people. If she says there’s no evil in you, then there is none. Whatever your father was doesn’t matter to me; he isn’t here and you are.” I hugged her back, appreciating what she was saying; that she would trust me with her children on the basis of Faiesa’s opinion and Heero’s love. “We’re going to my parents’ house now – the kids really need a nap – but I think we’re having dinner with the IchiBan tonight. Would you like to see my pictures of Heero as a kid?”
I goggled – no other word describes it. “Oh my god; yes!” I cried.
“Good; I’ll bring the albums!”
“Dammit, Kohaku –“ began my Wyvern, but she patted his cheek with a smirk.
“Too late, cousin; already offered and accepted! Later then!”
And then we were alone again. I looked at Heero and he looked at me.
“So, what other entertainment did you have planned?” I asked brightly.
He took my hand with a grin. “Let’s take a walk and see what presents itself, shall we?”
Well, now... That left quite a lot of options open.
...be advised of sudden POV changes...
BFB - Part 079d - Mommie Darling
I guess I’d forgotten that Faiesa wasn’t at breakfast; she didn’t have all the answers to all the questions about me. And she wasn’t interested so much in what I knew as what I didn’t know.
Faiesa questioned me pretty thoroughly, though never rudely, about my father. I managed to get through that inquisition without lying but also without actually giving out much information. I just stuck to the literal truth, which was that I really didn’t *know* what or who my father was. I had plenty of theories and tons of speculation, but no concrete, absolutely positive facts. I kind of got the feeling that she knew what I was doing, and let me get away with it only on Heero’s account.
I was feeling more than a little put-upon by the time she finished. I don’t like thinking about my father too much. I have way too many questions and no idea where or how to find the answers, and I don’t care much for those sorts of unsolved mysteries.
But finally the conversation turned to Kohaku, and she chattered on about her life in Kiba’s Clan. I have to confess that I missed most of it. Faiesa’s questioning left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth. I guess I had expected the same unconditional acceptance that I’d gotten from the IchiBan; it felt a little unfair that Heero’s great-aunt seemed almost suspicious of me.
~*~*~*~
I was attempting to keep up three different conversations with my children and Kohaku when I realised that Duo had gotten... quiet. His conversation with Faiesa had finished, but he sat silently, fingers aimlessly worrying a corner of the cloth napkin. And he wasn’t eating, just staring at his plate.
My Banshee was upset. Given my great-aunt’s propensity for autocratic behavior, I leapt to the obvious conclusion.
I untangled myself gently from my children and stood up, reaching for Duo’s hand.
“Come with me,” I said quietly, pulling him to his feet. He said nothing, but the relief was clear in his eyes. I led him outside and into the garden a good distance from the house before turning to take him in my arms. “What is wrong? What has she said to make you so quiet?” Given that he had allowed me to arbitrarily drag him out of the house without a single protest, I knew something was bothering him.
“Nothing,” he whispered, and I just managed to contain my disbelieving snort. “I just don’t know how to answer her... She wants to know about my father... And even when I’ve said I know nothing about him, she keeps coming back to it. Like... like she’s trying to... to catch me lying.” He blew out a great sigh, fluttering his bangs. “Even Giniro didn’t make such a big deal of it.”
“Faiesa is the chief of Clan Security; she tends to err on the side of caution. Although, sometimes she forgets that not every question has an answer. Or rather, that not every question has an answer that she is entitled to,” I murmured. “I will speak to her.”
He rested his forehead against my shoulder, sighing again. “I should have asked Teal for more information... But I hardly ever think about it now... I’m so used to... just not knowing. It threw me a little, I guess...”
“I will see that there are no more of those questions,” I promised. It bothered him a great deal more than he admitted; there were no declarations that he could fight his own battles.
My Banshee is a fiercely independent creature, but there are times when even he needs to lean. They don’t happen often; even after that odd occurrence in Indianapolis he refused to lean. Being what I am, I took a very guilty pleasure in supporting him after his aunt’s death. To have this moment now is, for me, a gift of sorts. I have to remind myself that his strength is one of the things I love about him.
He looked up at me with a determinedly bright smile. “I should get used to her direct approach, shouldn’t I?”
“Well... You should always assume that she will go for the jugular. The only one in the Clan tougher than Faiesa in Giniro.”
He licked his index finger and pantomimed making a mark in midair. “Check. ‘Faiesa one; Banshee zero.’”
I chuckled and rocked him back and forth in my arms. “I think it’s closer to even. You didn’t get mad, and I can tell that she’s impressed with you. Maybe you should give some thought to just explaining your background.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment and I didn’t push.
“Did she like your father?”
“Hmm...” I had to stop and think about that one. I have never heard otherwise, but then, I might not, given the Clan’s sense of loyalty to Giniro and to my mother. “I don’t think she was as spell-bound as Giniro apparently was, but I really don’t know for sure. Maybe I’ll ask her.”
“Oh, crap!” he cried, horrified. “Don’t do that, Heero! It’s not that important!”
“No,” I said feeling both sly and contentious; “I want to know. Don’t worry; I won’t do it now, but I will do it.”
He rolled his eyes in theatrical despair, but allowed me to lead him back to the house.
~*~*~*~
Below the level of the table, Heero’s hand sought mine, fingers lacing together for a reassuring squeeze. I looked up to find him watching me intently. I know he read every chaotic thought in my head. I wanted him to defend me; I didn’t want to precipitate a scene; I wanted his family to like me; I didn’t want to have to empty my soul to accomplish that. At that moment, I was something of an emotional pretzel. Without salt. He turned back to the table and reeled off a long string of Wyvern.
Faiesa gave me an intense look, and the flush just exploded over me. I thought for a moment she was going to be angry, but instead she said softly, “Forgive me, Banshee. Sometimes my curiosity is... inappropriate. I did not intend to offend you.”
It took some concentration to get my mouth moving. “’So’kay...” I muttered in embarrassment. “I just don’t know much about my father; all I’ve ever heard are rumors and half-truths. I hate to... to say something that turns out later to not be true...”
“I understand,” she said gently. “I was not aware of your unique situation.”
My heart almost jumped out of my chest. I turned on Heero, fully ready to rip *his* heart out. My god! What had he said to her?!
But Faiesa intervened before I could commit Wyvernicide.
“Heero only said that your father was not a Banshee, and that his information died with your mother. True?” she murmured, eyeing me over the rim of her teacup.
Technically, yes...
I nodded silently. I had not forgotten that Kohaku and Kiba were with us, listening to all this. I was suddenly anxious that Kohaku not have questions about my fitness to spend time with her children.
“I was never able to get any information from my aunt. I think maybe my mother never told her very much about him...” I looked down at my hands, wondering how I could go this long without being more curious. Surely that was some kind of flaw in me; that I mostly didn’t really care what my father was or was not. He wasn’t a Banshee or an Elf or a Human or anything else that I could name; did it even matter anymore? And no, I was not going to offer up the general opinion that I was the son of Death. I didn’t think that would go very far to cement their regard of me.
As if reading my thoughts, Heero said quietly, “He is my Chosen, Faiesa; there is no evil in him.”
I blinked at him, and he smiled at me; that warm, heartfelt smile that he gives to no one else. I just wanted to throw myself into his arms.
“You are right, Heero,” said the elder Wyvern. “There is not a drop of evil in this one, though there be many other things.”
I blinked at Faiesa. She smiled and gave me a slow wink. And all the anxiety, all the fear of her rejection just flowed right out of me. She didn’t hate me!
With that, Faiesa uncoiled from her position across from me. “If you children will excuse me, I have a rather boring meeting to chair.”
Like the good children we were, we all rose and took our leave in a very anticlimactic fashion.
It wasn’t until we were all outside and Heero was hugging his children again, that I realised that Kohaku and Kiba were preparing to leave us.
Kohaku came and gave me a hug. “Don’t let the mean old dragon-lady scare you, Duo,” she directed lightly. “Faiesa’s a first-rate judge of people. If she says there’s no evil in you, then there is none. Whatever your father was doesn’t matter to me; he isn’t here and you are.” I hugged her back, appreciating what she was saying; that she would trust me with her children on the basis of Faiesa’s opinion and Heero’s love. “We’re going to my parents’ house now – the kids really need a nap – but I think we’re having dinner with the IchiBan tonight. Would you like to see my pictures of Heero as a kid?”
I goggled – no other word describes it. “Oh my god; yes!” I cried.
“Good; I’ll bring the albums!”
“Dammit, Kohaku –“ began my Wyvern, but she patted his cheek with a smirk.
“Too late, cousin; already offered and accepted! Later then!”
And then we were alone again. I looked at Heero and he looked at me.
“So, what other entertainment did you have planned?” I asked brightly.
He took my hand with a grin. “Let’s take a walk and see what presents itself, shall we?”
Well, now... That left quite a lot of options open.
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no subject
Date: 2004-08-31 04:15 am (UTC)What're you trying to do, break my brain? ^^;
Faiesa is something of a change, isn't she? Not quite as besotted as most of Heero's family. I like her. Though... wanna give poor Duo a hug now. ^__^
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Date: 2004-08-31 05:23 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-08-31 06:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-31 06:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-31 09:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-31 06:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-01 05:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-01 04:36 pm (UTC)