wooooooooo....

[lavandarlizard2]

*big sigh* Once again the real world over-rides the fun world... I hate when that happens... Especially as it seems to involve more paperwork than I thought even existed. >_> I'm almost afraid to check my snail mail these days. Who knew that having a happy could give you writers' cramp? ^___o

Anyway... A tiny bit of new fic... after the rant. ^____^ You can skip the rant; it's just been nagging on the edges of my mind for a while and this morning just punted me right over the edge. ^___~



Yeah, so today is zombie Jesus day... whatever. I prefer the bunny myself; he brings chocolate. But the day leads me to a WTF?! that I've had before and just had again, about twenty minutes ago. My understanding, granted dating back to my childhood, was that this is a Big Day for persons of the Christian persuasion, and that attendance at the alter of their (30,000 and climbing!) choice was, like, mandatory. I never knew it as a day when those Christians felt zippy enough to go door-knocking at the folks who have more sensible ways of spending a weekend day.

Shorter version: I just got knocked up by a clutch of grinning proselytizers. >_< This is never amusing, but I've always seen these religious days as a sort of safe zone. The annoying folks are safely tucked away in their churches, so I don't have to be wary of answering my door. *sigh* Seriously, people? Do you really need the god points that badly? Are you *that* far down the mountain that you have to piss off other people to gain a few inches?! What in the *world* are you trying to cover up now?! O_O

Take it *down* a notch, folks. Seriously. If we want what you're selling, we'll find *you*.

And you just had to bring along the sweet little Asian lady and make me feel bad for telling all of you to piss off. >_< That's just doubly dirty.

I don't have a problem with whatever other people want to believe, as long as they keep it decently to themselves. Don't knock on my door, don't screw with my schools, don't buy my (admitted lame) politicians and in general keep your kooky superstitions to yourself. In return, I won't be asking the Great Dragon of All Existence and Enforcer of 'Get Off My Lawn' Signs to pee in your potato salad.

*aaarrghhhhhhhhh!!!!*

Just stop it. Or your potato salad, coleslaw, green bean casserole and Grandma Mary's best stuffing are all going to taste a little bit 'off' from now on. >_<




Yeah, I know: Pissy dragon is pissy. >_< So would you be, if you were just about to apply Advantage to a squirming and highly pissed off cat when the knock on the door sounded and sent the pissed off cat straight up the wall, across the ceiling and into hiding. And wasted $10 worth of flea killer. If another group knocks on my door today, I'm getting the vinegar spray.





BFB – Part 104 – Freaky

We were home earlier than we had been all week, but our “time zones” of the afternoon had left a warm glow and we separated to our own rooms for a bit. I got ready for bed and then picked up some yarn to knit on for ten minutes or so.

Heero joined me in a few minutes, settling at my side to watch me. He really does seem to enjoy watching me knit. I offered to teach him, but he said he preferred to get his relaxation secondhand. I gather that not many of his kind have this kind of hobby; they seem to run toward services, which sort of makes sense for guardians.

My project was small this time; a little cotton cardigan sweater for Dael. I chose it to work on my top-down proportions, since I can try it on her as I go and it’s small so it’s a quick pleasure. The yarn is an ombre of raspberry pink, purple and bright green – perfect for a darling little Banshee. I was already planning a similar cardi for Teal, though in darker colors.

Heero toyed with the ball of yarn, unwinding a few yards at a time for me as I went along.

“It’s a gentle sort of yarn,” he said after a bit. “Soft, colorful, but quiet. But it’s also strong, yes?”

“Depending on how it’s made, yes, cotton can be very tough.” I smirked at him. “Are you making comparisons again?”

He smiled back at me. “What if I am? It’s hardly my fault that every tough, sturdy and indomitable thing reminds me of you.”

“You are so full of shit,” I murmured. I finished the row and set the project aside. “And I think I may just like it.”

He hooked an arm around my neck and kissed me soundly. “Then I’ll keep doing it.” He flicked off the light and we went to sleep. I know, kinda boring for a pair of supposedly randy and insatiable Magical Creatures, but there you are.




I have so many emails and comments I need to answer and I'm still pissed. >.< Crap. Lovely. The cat wounds are bleeding again. *sigh*

Comments

[merula31]

Ouch. I swear with cats all it takes is one sound, one movement and that's it- they spread the claws and go for blood on their way out. Really, the only people who I don't mind knocking at the door to sell me things are the girl scouts- and nowadays there's a push not to send kids door to door- at least here. So I ignore the bell for the most part and take the chihuahua with me when I can't. For some reason his little snarling face combined with the yapping puts people off. *grin* Can't imagine why...

Heero is very sweet to his banshee!

*hugs* I hope the paperwork hell slows down soon.

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

That knock was just the last straw. >.< Trying to find the cats for their gooping is hard enough; wasting a tube because someone inserted themselves into the process... *grrrrrr*

The only people we get around here are adults pushing religion, magazines, auto services, "help me go to camp/school/the moon" big kids and the tamale lady. Her I don't mind, but I've never had the money to buy any, so it makes me cranky for that reason. ^___^

I'm really starting to want a four-legged door warden. >.< The cats just alert me and take off, except for the little one. And she scares me a bit... I really fear she might take a chunk out of someone someday. >_>

[sunhawk16.livejournal.com]

In my mind it sort of implies that they think I'm too stupid to make up my own mind about my own religious choices without their input. Like... I never would have thought about it if they hadn't arrived on my doorstep. *rolls eyes*
Hehehehe... BFB!Heero and Ion!Heero seem to have a lot in common with that liking to watch thing. *waggles eyebrows* ^o^

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Like we don't notice those churches on every corner... *sigh* They are perfectly free to do what they want; why on earth do they have to harass me? O.o Especially when I have an angry cat in hand.... She still hasn't come out for her gooping, either. >.<

Depends on what they're watching, you perv. ^______^
*snork!*

[rogue53.livejournal.com]

Being in the middle of nowhere does have its advantages... not many come here for anything... but on the other hand, I remember when I was at school and some guy came up and asked me if I had found Jesus. I looked at him all serious and said, "I didn't realize he was lost!" Word must have gotten out, didn't get bothered after that.

I like the whole laid back thing going on here. Wish the same was for everyone in the real world!

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

That's true. ^___^ Can't go doorknocking in the boonies - you might be tapped as dinner by a weird cult. *snicker*

I had one of those 'perfect comeback for the moment' things years and years ago. Adorable little freak swoops on me with "Jesus *loves* you!" and I replied "But he's a lousy lay." She may have cried; I don't remember. ^___^

*raises hand* I'd like some laidback, please. And someone to do all this paperwork... O.o

[lisagems.livejournal.com]

The big magnet of Kakashi from Naruto stuck to my door tends to deter that type. The very few that still try get handed pamphlets from various alternative religions that I keep in a drawer near the front door. Things like the local B'hai temple, one of the larger "out" covens...

[rurounitriv.livejournal.com]

I like you. You're evil. ;)

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Oh so true. ^____^ It's like a breath of fresh air.

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

I wonder if that would work for me? O.o More likely someone would steal it. They already ignore my 'No Solicitors' sign. =P

I am jealous - all my pamphlets come from the JWs. Bor-ing.

[rurounitriv.livejournal.com]

Oh, but they're not soliciting. They're proselytizing. All the difference in the world.

At least you get something for your money when the salesman takes your money. :P

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Silly me! Of course. ^___^ You don't have to *sell* religion because everyone already loves it. =P

[lisagems.livejournal.com]

My old neighborhood back in Michigan was a bit more dicey, and the door wasn't metal, so instead of magnets I painted a big huge flaming pentacle on the glass of my front door. On the inside where it wouldn't be damaged. The Mormon's still came calling, and did so when I was in a mood, so I invited them in, let them sit down and treated them to a long discussion on mythology, why all christian religions are following a tribal war god, with a brief side track into an explanation of why Stonehenge was NOT a temple for druids and was, in fact, a calendar and lunar eclipse prediction tool. It was almost as amusing as when the fundies came to call bright and early the morning after my Black Valentines Day party. There where still party attendees sleeping in various piles around the front room, and I made sure to open the door enough for them to be visible, while leaning on the door frame wearing... well, a lot less than I would wear now. I miss college sometimes.

I think word got out, because that was the last time anyone knocked on my door in that neighborhood.

(BVD was a strange little party, closest weekend to VD, no significant others allowed, wear black)

There are printable magnet sheets, you could make one that says fundies will be sacrificed to appease the volcano gods...

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Hmm... I wonder if fundies would give Pele indigestion? ^___^

Once upon a long time ago, I had some interesting artifacts and odd decorating ideas that apparently frightened off some JWs. I don't think I realized it at the time; I was young and still trying to be polite. I believe it was my mother who pointed out the line-of-sight from their position on the porch and my happy little 'black altar'. *snicker*

Alas, I have long since lost those knick-knacks... O.o

[rurounitriv.livejournal.com]

I didn't have any missionaries knocking on my door this morning, but I did see a bunch of idiots with crosses and signs standing on the street corner instead, yelling about how wonderful Jeeesus is. Fortunately it was a commercial corner, rather than one in a residential area, but still... it was just a few minutes after 7 am, shouldn't they have been at their sunrise service instead of annoying passing motorists?

Nice to see a little innocent cuteness from the BFB boys.

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Yeah! Why aren't they decently in their bloody church at that hour of the morning?! O.o

^____^ Everybody needs some quiet time.

[rurounitriv.livejournal.com]

It's not even like they could have run out from their church to the streetcorner, the sun was just coming over the hill when I drove by. I guess they figured their best way to honor Jesus was to annoy other people. I mean, it's not like you could fail to be aware that Christ is believed to be The Only Way to Heaven living in a small town in the buckle of the Bible Belt! We have something like 20 churches that I, the resident Pagan/non-churchgoer, am aware of... in a town of less than 3000.

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

One church for every 150 people...?! O_O And they call autism an epidemic. >.<

I am still pissed off over the knocking thing. >_< Probably won't wind down until the scratches heal.

[rurounitriv.livejournal.com]

This isn't just the buckle of the Bible Belt, it's the heart of Southern Baptist country. People will get annoyed at the preacher or something and the congregation will split. Some of these churches will only have a dozen or so people (or less) and meet in someone's home, business or a room in another church, others will have a couple hundred people. That group on the corner may well have been most of the congregation of their church, even though there were only about half a dozen of them there.

When I first moved here, the first question a lot of people asked me was "which church do you go to?" And when I told them that I wasn't a churchgoer, they said if I changed my mind, I was welcome to visit.

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

O_o That just sounds all kinds of creepy...

I am a 'true crime' junkie and I am totally hooked on ID TV; every time the words "a good christian man/woman" are spoken, I know they're talking about the eventual killer. ^___^

And I'm planning a trip to one of those strongholds in a couple of weeks... Still, I can fake a Texas twang if need be. ^___^

[rurounitriv.livejournal.com]

It's just so much a part of the social life around here that it's surprising to people that you don't go - especially the older people, who were the ones who were generally inviting me. Most of the social events are somehow connected to the churches, from afterschool/summer activities to dances and community fish fries. For a lot of people here, that's the main draw of church.

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

I've heard that it's a big social deal in some areas. Not being a very social person, I don't quite 'get' it. ^___^

I suppose as long as they're at church or the social functions, then they aren't out being jackasses. ^___^

[jlaidler.livejournal.com]

The last time some jerkoff was at my door he was persistent. Don't know or care why the Hell he was there, all I cared about was he was playing game show dinger with my freekin' doorbell, and after he gave up he wound up in the alley behind my house saying to me "excuse me sir." I didn't give him the chance to say what the Hell he wanted because I was pissed and grumpy about having my lazy mid-day lie in spoiled. Cambering a round in the .45 and aiming it at him scared him off big time, but in all fairness it wasn't the smartest thing to do. Or at least the most legal. But damn, pull that crap with the doorbell and look out. If I were in the boonies I very well might have fired off a few rounds for good measure. Grr.

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Around here, the sheriff would be at the door with his gun drawn and his handcuffs ready. >_> And backup hauling up the road with sirens screaming. We don't get to scare the idiots down here. *sigh*

I just wish they would stop assuming that everyone else is just waiting for their knock. >_<

[jlaidler.livejournal.com]

Well this dude wasn't one of THOSE door knockers, if you catch my drift. No, this dude had something else in mind. Hence my spidey senses causing me to grab the damn gun in the first place and take a look out the back. Nah, I think this SOB had designs on breaking into the place.

[lavendarlizard.livejournal.com]

Ah. I don't worry too much about those types around here. I have attack cats. ^___^

[jlaidler.livejournal.com]

Yes, living with four cats I'm quite aware of their deadly potential, lol. Though I don't really fear any cats after we had to deal with our poor departed Bagheera. He was NOT lightly named. This cat was freekin' strong and his teeth were so big they stuck out of his mouth almost like a saber tooth. NO cat scares me after him.