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lavandarlizard2I suck at this kind of thing, but since *someone* insisted, here we go. >_> Xmas fic.
I'm tired and slightly yucky-feeling. This is as good as I get: Happy Whatever. Don't drink and drive and remember that you are not allowed to kill the detestable relatives. Even if they do richly deserve it. v___v
(O)(O)(O)(O)(O) to all.
“Explain this deal to me again, Trowa?”
*sigh* “It’s a very simple Old Earth tradition. I believe it started in northern Europe or Scandinavia, or maybe Eastern Europe, but the North Americans perfected it.”
“Don’t give me that eye-rolling thing, man. I’ve never heard of this.”
“You grew up on L-2; it’s a traditionally North American colony. How could you have missed this?”
“Oh, I can’t imagine! Maybe having spent my early life in the worst slums of the colony might have something to do with it? Tro, I never heard of Christmas until I was at the church and that was pretty weird-sounding to me. I sure never heard about this. It sounds bizarre, man. Kind of creepy, too.”
“It’s not creepy, Maxwell; it’s an old tradition.”
“Sounds like a great job for a pervert.”
“You know, the only reason I don’t just put you in a headlock and drag you in there is that I know you’re just messing with me. It’s what you do whenever you’re confused, unsettled or scared.”
“Bullshit! I am not scared! I just think it’s weird!”
“Then just humor me and my weirdness and do it and we can go to lunch afterward.”
“….”
“I’ll buy.”
“Can we go to that steak place that has the humongous chocolate cake for dessert?”
“If it’ll get you in there, yes!”
“Well, all right! Oh, wait. You’re doing it too, right?”
“I already did mine; Quatre and I went together. I’ll show you the picture after.”
“You wouldn’t lie to me, would you, man?”
*sigh* “No, Duo; I would not lie to you. Now, get in line.”
“So, this is okay? That I’m not a kid?”
“It’s okay. We did it on Thursday. Lots of adults do it. It’s a fun thing to do.”
“If you say so. This planet has some truly weird social traditions, y’know.”
“I know.”
“Come on, don’t pout. I’m in line, waiting my turn. You nagged me into it.”
“I’m not pouting; I’m trying to keep from strangling you.”
“Hey, what’s with the fuzzy costumes?”
“Those are elves.”
“…elves…”
“Just go with it. They’re here to wrangle the kids.”
“If you say so… They look kind of silly. That pink one looks kind of pissed off.”
“Probably doesn’t like kids.”
“Yeah… Now, what do I do again? And I am not messing with you; it’s just so…”
“Weird.”
“Yeah.”
“You sit on his lap and tell him what you want for Christmas.”
“You know if you’re doing this just to embarrass me…”
“I’m not. Look at the kids; that’s what they’re doing.”
“That woman isn’t asking for Christmas presents…”
“Huh. Looks like she’s offering presents. Okay, your turn.”
***
“Um… Hi... Santa? My friend says I’m supposed to tell you what I want for Christmas…”
“Ho. Ho. Ho. That’s right. Merry Christmas.”
“I feel kind of silly… I mean, I don’t really need anything…”
“You could ask for something for someone else, if you want. Peace on earth was popular during the wars.”
“Huh. Well… Um… Is that a real beard?”
“Ah…”
“Looks kind of uncomfortable…”
“Not really…”
“….”
“Um…”
“Wait a minute… You look kinda familiar…”
“I’m Santa Claus.”
“No, you aren’t. You’re Heero! What are you doing in this… get-up?!”
“Losing a bet, apparently…”
“What?”
“Trowa bet that he could get you to sit on my lap… I said you’d never do it.”
*blink* *blink*
“But here you are… On my lap… Sitting…”
“Getting my picture taken as proof, too.”
“Um… Sorry about that… I… uh…”
“Oh, I don’t mind, *Santa*. I was actually gonna ask for a hot Eurasian boyfriend for Christmas.”
“Really.”
“Well, unless that’s a gun in your pocket, *Santa*…”
“No, no gun…”
“Okay, then. See you at work tomorrow.”
“Duo, wait!”
“Yeah?”
“Would you like to go to dinner tomorrow? With me…?”
“Only if you plan on bringing me a hot Eurasian boyfriend.”
“I can do that.”
“Then, hell yeah!”
“Terrific! Um, you want to tell Wufei that you said ‘yes’; he probably won’t believe me.”
“Wufei?”
“Yeah. He’s in the pink elf outfit. He bet me you wouldn’t go out on a dinner date with me.”
“Ha!”
***
“Hey, Chang! You lose! Trowa; I’m ready for my steak!”
“Sure. I can afford it, now.”
“Wufei! Love those jingly bells, curly-toes!”
“He’s gonna kill you…”
“He’s gonna have to get through Heero first. Feed me, man!”
“Yeah… Wufei’s coming this way and he looks pissed.”
“Who’re you waving at?”
“Quatre. He’s here to keep Wufei in line.”
“Ummm… He’s not wearing those antlers to bed, I hope?”
“You’ll never know, Maxwell.”
I'm tired and slightly yucky-feeling. This is as good as I get: Happy Whatever. Don't drink and drive and remember that you are not allowed to kill the detestable relatives. Even if they do richly deserve it. v___v
(O)(O)(O)(O)(O) to all.
“Explain this deal to me again, Trowa?”
*sigh* “It’s a very simple Old Earth tradition. I believe it started in northern Europe or Scandinavia, or maybe Eastern Europe, but the North Americans perfected it.”
“Don’t give me that eye-rolling thing, man. I’ve never heard of this.”
“You grew up on L-2; it’s a traditionally North American colony. How could you have missed this?”
“Oh, I can’t imagine! Maybe having spent my early life in the worst slums of the colony might have something to do with it? Tro, I never heard of Christmas until I was at the church and that was pretty weird-sounding to me. I sure never heard about this. It sounds bizarre, man. Kind of creepy, too.”
“It’s not creepy, Maxwell; it’s an old tradition.”
“Sounds like a great job for a pervert.”
“You know, the only reason I don’t just put you in a headlock and drag you in there is that I know you’re just messing with me. It’s what you do whenever you’re confused, unsettled or scared.”
“Bullshit! I am not scared! I just think it’s weird!”
“Then just humor me and my weirdness and do it and we can go to lunch afterward.”
“….”
“I’ll buy.”
“Can we go to that steak place that has the humongous chocolate cake for dessert?”
“If it’ll get you in there, yes!”
“Well, all right! Oh, wait. You’re doing it too, right?”
“I already did mine; Quatre and I went together. I’ll show you the picture after.”
“You wouldn’t lie to me, would you, man?”
*sigh* “No, Duo; I would not lie to you. Now, get in line.”
“So, this is okay? That I’m not a kid?”
“It’s okay. We did it on Thursday. Lots of adults do it. It’s a fun thing to do.”
“If you say so. This planet has some truly weird social traditions, y’know.”
“I know.”
“Come on, don’t pout. I’m in line, waiting my turn. You nagged me into it.”
“I’m not pouting; I’m trying to keep from strangling you.”
“Hey, what’s with the fuzzy costumes?”
“Those are elves.”
“…elves…”
“Just go with it. They’re here to wrangle the kids.”
“If you say so… They look kind of silly. That pink one looks kind of pissed off.”
“Probably doesn’t like kids.”
“Yeah… Now, what do I do again? And I am not messing with you; it’s just so…”
“Weird.”
“Yeah.”
“You sit on his lap and tell him what you want for Christmas.”
“You know if you’re doing this just to embarrass me…”
“I’m not. Look at the kids; that’s what they’re doing.”
“That woman isn’t asking for Christmas presents…”
“Huh. Looks like she’s offering presents. Okay, your turn.”
***
“Um… Hi... Santa? My friend says I’m supposed to tell you what I want for Christmas…”
“Ho. Ho. Ho. That’s right. Merry Christmas.”
“I feel kind of silly… I mean, I don’t really need anything…”
“You could ask for something for someone else, if you want. Peace on earth was popular during the wars.”
“Huh. Well… Um… Is that a real beard?”
“Ah…”
“Looks kind of uncomfortable…”
“Not really…”
“….”
“Um…”
“Wait a minute… You look kinda familiar…”
“I’m Santa Claus.”
“No, you aren’t. You’re Heero! What are you doing in this… get-up?!”
“Losing a bet, apparently…”
“What?”
“Trowa bet that he could get you to sit on my lap… I said you’d never do it.”
*blink* *blink*
“But here you are… On my lap… Sitting…”
“Getting my picture taken as proof, too.”
“Um… Sorry about that… I… uh…”
“Oh, I don’t mind, *Santa*. I was actually gonna ask for a hot Eurasian boyfriend for Christmas.”
“Really.”
“Well, unless that’s a gun in your pocket, *Santa*…”
“No, no gun…”
“Okay, then. See you at work tomorrow.”
“Duo, wait!”
“Yeah?”
“Would you like to go to dinner tomorrow? With me…?”
“Only if you plan on bringing me a hot Eurasian boyfriend.”
“I can do that.”
“Then, hell yeah!”
“Terrific! Um, you want to tell Wufei that you said ‘yes’; he probably won’t believe me.”
“Wufei?”
“Yeah. He’s in the pink elf outfit. He bet me you wouldn’t go out on a dinner date with me.”
“Ha!”
***
“Hey, Chang! You lose! Trowa; I’m ready for my steak!”
“Sure. I can afford it, now.”
“Wufei! Love those jingly bells, curly-toes!”
“He’s gonna kill you…”
“He’s gonna have to get through Heero first. Feed me, man!”
“Yeah… Wufei’s coming this way and he looks pissed.”
“Who’re you waving at?”
“Quatre. He’s here to keep Wufei in line.”
“Ummm… He’s not wearing those antlers to bed, I hope?”
“You’ll never know, Maxwell.”
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no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 04:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 09:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 05:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 08:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 05:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 06:02 am (UTC)I like Duo's Christmas list. I think 'Santa' is going to take care of it! :-D
I'm sure 'the pink one' was pissed *snicker*
and Trowa's last line is made of win.
(For some reason, I can't picture 'pink elf', I keep coming up with 'Pink Power Ranger'... oh dear *gigglefit*)
no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 08:52 pm (UTC)A few years back, one of the malls had all the 'elves' around 'santa' done up in different colors and they were wearing costume color-matching wigs. O.O It comes to mind every year... ^___~ And this year the bunny brought a little sign that said "Wufei = pink".
no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 06:52 am (UTC)And a Merry Christmas to you!
no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 08:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 12:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 08:47 pm (UTC)You forget; I know what your 'suggestions' mean. O.~
no subject
Date: 2008-12-27 01:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-27 01:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 05:02 pm (UTC)*hides*
no subject
Date: 2008-12-25 08:45 pm (UTC)^_____^
no subject
Date: 2008-12-26 02:57 am (UTC)“Would you like to go to dinner tomorrow? With me…?”
“Only if you plan on bringing me a hot Eurasian boyfriend.”
“I can do that.”
no subject
Date: 2008-12-27 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-26 04:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-27 12:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-31 11:28 pm (UTC)Awwwww Santa Heero and Duo's wish was pure crack.
The ending line was the best though.
annakas
no subject
Date: 2009-01-01 01:05 am (UTC)