huh. how about that? I forgot....
May. 10th, 2005 04:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lavandarlizard2...that yesterday was my wedding anniversary. Guess denial works after all. ^___^
Got more here, much more, if my count is correct. No loveseats or chairs were harmed in the writing of this partlet, although a turnip was cuddled gratefully.
Part 089 - BFB - Statement (e)
It felt like I’d only blinked when I looked around and found myself in a Starbucks. I didn’t recognize the surrounding area, so I suppose I could have been anywhere. I certainly didn’t remember getting there. The girl behind the counter gave me an odd little smile and it dawned on me that I was still tricked out in my Magical drag. Nothing I could do about it, except to hope that she was only startled and not planning an ambush. I ordered a cup of coffee. Just coffee, nothing weird or fancy, and sat down next to a window to try to make sense out of Julie’s ravings.
I still couldn’t believe that she would deliberately shove me into hell just to save herself. Why didn’t she tell me? I would have helped her. Hell, I might even have gone after that sonuvabitch myself. I certainly wouldn’t have let her go back there. I could not understand why she didn’t just *tell* me.
I would tell, if someone tried that with me. If I didn’t kill them first.
What kind of father would do such a thing to his own child? And what kind of mother would run off and leave a child in that situation? Why would she take one child with her and not the other? I knew that Julie resented her mother and sister for leaving; I guess I now knew why.
Try as I might, I couldn’t get any further than that. I guess... I guess my Banshee brain just isn’t wired the right way to understand that behavior. Some Magical Creatures say that Humans are nothing but jumped-up animals; I don't usually think that's true, but there sure is some weird primitive stuff going on with them sometimes. I’ve never heard of things like that happening among Magical Creatures. I finished my coffee, tossed the cup and left the coffee shop.
I was still in town, marginally, I discovered after a few minutes; a strip mall near the highway, on the other side of town from the Castle. I made a half-hearted attempt at teleporting myself, but as usual it didn’t work. I didn’t much mind right then; I didn’t mind walking. I had my phone; I could call for a port if I really needed to.
About a mile into the walk, it began to rain. I sighed and put my hood up, but still didn’t call in. Wasn’t ready to face people yet. Still running laps in my head. I don’t know why I couldn’t just let it go; I tried, really I did, but it just wouldn’t leave. So I walked on in the rain.
I had just scuttled across the road, trading the muddy shoulder for the more secure footing of a sidewalk, when a whiff of sulfur announced a demon. An instant later, Zephyrus appeared.
“Duo,” he said smoothly, “Why are you walking in the rain? Has that large lizard of yours lost his mind?”
I just kept walking. “Not in the mood, Zeph,” I muttered. “Go bother someone else.” I could almost feel him blink. He fell into step with me.
“But... it’s raining, little Banshee. You shouldn’t be out in this.”
“It’s only water; I won’t melt.”
His step faltered; apparently I was being somewhat... venomous. Well, good. About time I got mad. I hadn’t done a damn thing to deserve what happened to me and dammit, it *sucked* that I was still having to deal with the after-effects.
He touched my shoulder then and I rounded on him.
“I told you to leave me alone! I don’t care about the rain; I don’t care about getting wet! I don’t fucking care!”
Reality twisted for an instant and I found myself blinking in a warm, fire-lit room.
“What the fuck?! Zephyrus!”
He was standing a few feet from me, minus his long cloak and fancy hat. His furry grey ears swiveled my direction and his fluffy tail switched in irritation. He folded his arms over his chest and arched one eyebrow in a “what are you going to do about it?” look.
“Well, I don’t happen to enjoy dragging *my* tail through the mud,” he sniffed.
I opened my mouth and then shut it again. What the hell could I say to that? Nothing that would do me any good, I’m sure.
He waved a hand at me. “Do sit down; I’ll make you a cup of tea and you can tell me why you feel the need to punish yourself by scuttling about in the rain.”
A burgundy satin loveseat walked up behind me on clawed feet and waited patiently; I sat down. Some of my anger was draining away, leaving behind the hurt and confusion. I rested my head in my hands, elbows on my knees.
“Zephyrus.... I’m sorry; it’s just been a rotten day.”
“You needn’t apologise, little Banshee.” He turned from a small fire with a saucer and teacup in his hand and offered it to me. I took it and inhaled the orange spice.
Demon tea. Was it any safer than the soda Julie gave me? Did I trust the koriyoukai not to try to seduce me that way?
I shook my head in disgust. If Zeph wanted to seduce me, he wouldn’t be resorting to tea and satin sofas, and he knew damn well the punishment for seducing a Wyvern’s Chosen would be worse than death, if Heero could manage it. And right now, Heero probably could. I tasted the tea. Just tea. Just good old spice tea with a touch of orange. I sighed heavily into the cup, watching the ripples on the small surface.
“Drink up, little Banshee; there is more.” A chair galloped up and stopped opposite the sofa and he settled himself elegantly into it, crossing his legs deliberately and twitching his tail to lie at his side. A cup and saucer of his own appeared in his hands. “Now, tell me why you were walking in the rain all alone.”
Absurdly, he made me think of a television therapist. I wondered how long it would take before he asked me “and how does that make you *feel*?”
I could picture it so clearly in my head that I snickered. He cocked an eyebrow encouragingly.
“Just something silly,” I hedged, and then sighed. “I just wanted to think,” I admitted to his question. “About... things. Life. Secrets. Friends. How easy it is to be hurt by your friends...”
He sat up sharply, teacup vanishing. “Who has hurt you? The Wyvern? That snarky little Dragon? The...” he hesitated, then continued. “The... Puma...?”
“No!” Crap. Open mouth, insert foot, Duo! I snapped to myself. “They haven’t hurt me! They would never hurt me! It’s just... other people.”
“Other friends...?”
I swallowed. She had been, hadn’t she? My friend. I thought so at the time. Thought I knew Humans after living with them for seven years. Thought they couldn’t possibly put anything over on me.
“They are not your friends if they hurt you,” he pronounced solemnly.
The snort that came then sounded strangled even to me. “You’re a demon, Zeph; what would you know about friends?”
And then he was right in front of me, down on one knee on the rich Persian rug looking straight into my eyes, his own ice-blue eyes sharp but not angry.
“Only what I have learned from you, little Banshee.”
Crap.
I stared into his eyes, seeing myself reflected in his bottomless pupils.
I closed my eyes and reached one arm around his neck in a half-hug. “I’m sorry; that was mean. I shouldn’t have said that.” Damn. Here he was, acting in a very un-demonly way, trying to be empathetic and I was sniping at him. Bloody hell... When would I ever get my damn balance back? Just how far and how long was I going to have to search to find “me” again?
He brought one arm around my waist, careful to avoid the cup and saucer I still held. “I understand that you are... hurt,” he murmured against my hair. “I would like to... to help?” He drew back far enough to look at my face and I saw that he looked uncertain. “That is what I am supposed to say, isn’t it? As a concerned friend?”
I thought of what Q said; that I had civilized a demon. I snickered helplessly. “Yeah; that’s what you’re supposed to say.” The idea of a demon being more human than a Human seemed awfully amusing suddenly, given how evil demons are supposed to be. “Thanks, Zeph,” I said softly and he smirked, looking very pleased with himself for a moment.
“I have not even tried to see you, knowing that the Wyvern would be... not pleased,” he admitted hesitantly. I could feel him picking carefully, searching for the right words to convey feelings that demons didn’t normally have. Q said I was worth all the trouble I’d brought... “But it has been several weeks,” Zephyrus continued; “and I... I have worried about you; why are you still unhappy, Banshee? You are safely back now, with your... your friends, and you say they have not hurt you...”
There wasn’t a table handy; I managed to set the cup and saucer on the floor before the shudder got far enough for me to drop them. The wrenching wave of flashback and its terrible feeling of panic, humiliation, regret swept over me with not a bit of warning, building so swiftly that I could only wrap my arms over my ribs, clench my teeth and just try not to scream as it all replayed itself with horrifying clarity on the insides of my eyelids.
“Duo? Duo!”
I heard him, felt his hands on my arms, but right at that moment, I needed everything I had to keep from shattering where I sat. I don’t know when the sobs began, or when I collapsed into his arms. When I was finally aware of my surroundings again, I was in his arms, almost in his lap, and crying wretchedly on his shoulder.
Given the interest Zephyrus has shown in me, I would have expected him to relish this moment and take full advantage. Instead, he brushed my bangs back from my face and asked anxiously, “Shall I call the Wyvern? I will bring him here for you.”
Oh, yeah; *that* would make things better. Right. Heero would have an aneurism on the spot.
“God, no!” I gasped. “He’d kill you before you could explain...” I scrubbed a hand over my face, trying to get myself back into the here-and-now. “Just... gimme a few seconds...”
He nodded, even though I could see that he wasn’t sure. Do demons even know how to do protective? I know they’re right up there with Dragons when it comes to possessive.
Demon or no, he was a perfect gentleman while I got the damned tears stopped and my heart rate under control and chased away the remnants of the attack. He just continued rubbing my back and gently petting my hair and making a sound that could almost be mistaken for purring. Do foxes purr? I always thought only felines did that. And what a time to wonder about that. Have I ever mentioned how good I am at denial?
Zephyrus sighed then and said quietly, “I do not understand why you let that female spirit you away like that.”
And there it was. The censure I had expected from the Sheriff’s detective, from my friends, from my lover. I *let* her drug me. I *let* her take me away. I *let* that pervert rape me. I *let* it happen, therefore it was my fault. I was as guilty as they were; more so, because I had enabled them to hurt me. I *let* it happen, so I *wanted* it to happen. It was all my responsibility.
All my little bits and pieces exploded at once and I started screaming, barely aware of what I was saying.
A fine haze seemed to cover everything, vaguely purple; just enough to make everything look fuzzy and slightly off-kilter. I could see myself from... outside myself. It didn’t scare me; I don’t think I really felt anything but a rather annoyed embarrassment over the ridiculous amount of scenery-chewing by a really lousy actor.
It took me a few ticks to realize that that lousy actor was me, and that I seemed to be having some sort of... temper tantrum, or maybe a complete emotional collapse.
How humiliating....
Zephyrus just watched; one eyebrow arched in genteel confusion.
I needed...
I blinked uncertainly. What did I need? Um... I needed to... to... do something. Yes. I needed to stop... myself... from... from...
From what...?
I frowned, still watching myself behaving... badly.
Oh, yes. I needed to stop myself from behaving like an idiot. And in front of a demon, no less.
But if that was me... and I was me...
How did that happen...?
Was this what Humans called astral projection? And what the hell was I doing *projecting* myself to *here*, when I should be *there*, having a meltdown in front of a demon...?
And why was I saying...?
Shit! *Shit!*
My own voice, coming from my own mouth saying – telling the *demon* fergodsake! – that I had been raped!
I dropped my head into my hands. I would have to dig a hole to hide in and pull the damn thing over me. Shit. Double shit...
I may have whimpered.
...and everything changed again.
Zephyrus had hold of my shoulders; I had a hold of his arms. I was panting again – like I couldn’t freaking get enough air into my lungs – and that weird hysterical feeling was winding itself up inside of me.
“Zeph! Let go of me!” I shrieked. Crap, I could hear the panic in my own voice. The toad demon; Kevin the pervert; Wufei... Oh shit. “Let *go* of me!” It happened when I was scared... really scared. And right now, Zephyrus was scaring the crap outta me.
“Duo! I wasn’t blaming you!” he yelled in my face.
“Let go!” I pulled against his grip, but he was stronger. ~ Is he strong enough; stronger than the power? ~ hissed the voice in my head. “Zeph! You’re scaring me!”
He let go suddenly, and I landed on the satin sofa, gasping for breath. He reached for me again, but I held up my hand.
“No! No... Don’t scare me, Zeph,” I gasped. “I’m-I’m dangerous when I’m scared...” And didn’t that just sound ridiculous? He would find that just hysterically funny.
But he drew back uncertainly and I was able to breathe. He was a demon and not exactly on my approved friends list, the one Heero seems to carry in his head for me, but I didn’t want to hurt him.
Especially... I blinked, looking around the room while I caught my breath. Especially as I had no idea where I was or how I would get home without him. And right then, I really wanted to go home.
“Duo... I would never hurt you,” he said gently. “I only want to... to help.”
“I... know... And I don’t want to hurt you, either.” He arched one eyebrow, clearly not seeing any way that I could be a danger to him. I didn’t enlighten him. “I want to go home,” I said. “Please just take me home...”
He frowned, his hands hovering as if he wanted to touch me again, but couldn’t as long as I was upset. “All right,” he said reluctantly. “You’re sure I can’t remove that traitorous female?”
“I’m sure,” I sighed. Guess I had just blurted out everything; terrific. “Just let it be, Zephyrus.” It was over and nearly done with; I just wanted to stop dwelling on what happened and work on finding myself again. I wanted to stop crying and whining and scaring my friends and my lover, as well as – now – my personal koriyoukai.
And I really need to get over this tendency to run when things got complicated. Heero was going to be livid.
“By your request,” said Zephyrus quietly, “I will refrain from exacting vengeance in your name, but please know that I am at your service, Banshee.” And he swept a low bow.
“Just don’t tell Heero or Wufei that,” I muttered. They’d both go ballistic.
...tbc...
Got more here, much more, if my count is correct. No loveseats or chairs were harmed in the writing of this partlet, although a turnip was cuddled gratefully.
Part 089 - BFB - Statement (e)
It felt like I’d only blinked when I looked around and found myself in a Starbucks. I didn’t recognize the surrounding area, so I suppose I could have been anywhere. I certainly didn’t remember getting there. The girl behind the counter gave me an odd little smile and it dawned on me that I was still tricked out in my Magical drag. Nothing I could do about it, except to hope that she was only startled and not planning an ambush. I ordered a cup of coffee. Just coffee, nothing weird or fancy, and sat down next to a window to try to make sense out of Julie’s ravings.
I still couldn’t believe that she would deliberately shove me into hell just to save herself. Why didn’t she tell me? I would have helped her. Hell, I might even have gone after that sonuvabitch myself. I certainly wouldn’t have let her go back there. I could not understand why she didn’t just *tell* me.
I would tell, if someone tried that with me. If I didn’t kill them first.
What kind of father would do such a thing to his own child? And what kind of mother would run off and leave a child in that situation? Why would she take one child with her and not the other? I knew that Julie resented her mother and sister for leaving; I guess I now knew why.
Try as I might, I couldn’t get any further than that. I guess... I guess my Banshee brain just isn’t wired the right way to understand that behavior. Some Magical Creatures say that Humans are nothing but jumped-up animals; I don't usually think that's true, but there sure is some weird primitive stuff going on with them sometimes. I’ve never heard of things like that happening among Magical Creatures. I finished my coffee, tossed the cup and left the coffee shop.
I was still in town, marginally, I discovered after a few minutes; a strip mall near the highway, on the other side of town from the Castle. I made a half-hearted attempt at teleporting myself, but as usual it didn’t work. I didn’t much mind right then; I didn’t mind walking. I had my phone; I could call for a port if I really needed to.
About a mile into the walk, it began to rain. I sighed and put my hood up, but still didn’t call in. Wasn’t ready to face people yet. Still running laps in my head. I don’t know why I couldn’t just let it go; I tried, really I did, but it just wouldn’t leave. So I walked on in the rain.
I had just scuttled across the road, trading the muddy shoulder for the more secure footing of a sidewalk, when a whiff of sulfur announced a demon. An instant later, Zephyrus appeared.
“Duo,” he said smoothly, “Why are you walking in the rain? Has that large lizard of yours lost his mind?”
I just kept walking. “Not in the mood, Zeph,” I muttered. “Go bother someone else.” I could almost feel him blink. He fell into step with me.
“But... it’s raining, little Banshee. You shouldn’t be out in this.”
“It’s only water; I won’t melt.”
His step faltered; apparently I was being somewhat... venomous. Well, good. About time I got mad. I hadn’t done a damn thing to deserve what happened to me and dammit, it *sucked* that I was still having to deal with the after-effects.
He touched my shoulder then and I rounded on him.
“I told you to leave me alone! I don’t care about the rain; I don’t care about getting wet! I don’t fucking care!”
Reality twisted for an instant and I found myself blinking in a warm, fire-lit room.
“What the fuck?! Zephyrus!”
He was standing a few feet from me, minus his long cloak and fancy hat. His furry grey ears swiveled my direction and his fluffy tail switched in irritation. He folded his arms over his chest and arched one eyebrow in a “what are you going to do about it?” look.
“Well, I don’t happen to enjoy dragging *my* tail through the mud,” he sniffed.
I opened my mouth and then shut it again. What the hell could I say to that? Nothing that would do me any good, I’m sure.
He waved a hand at me. “Do sit down; I’ll make you a cup of tea and you can tell me why you feel the need to punish yourself by scuttling about in the rain.”
A burgundy satin loveseat walked up behind me on clawed feet and waited patiently; I sat down. Some of my anger was draining away, leaving behind the hurt and confusion. I rested my head in my hands, elbows on my knees.
“Zephyrus.... I’m sorry; it’s just been a rotten day.”
“You needn’t apologise, little Banshee.” He turned from a small fire with a saucer and teacup in his hand and offered it to me. I took it and inhaled the orange spice.
Demon tea. Was it any safer than the soda Julie gave me? Did I trust the koriyoukai not to try to seduce me that way?
I shook my head in disgust. If Zeph wanted to seduce me, he wouldn’t be resorting to tea and satin sofas, and he knew damn well the punishment for seducing a Wyvern’s Chosen would be worse than death, if Heero could manage it. And right now, Heero probably could. I tasted the tea. Just tea. Just good old spice tea with a touch of orange. I sighed heavily into the cup, watching the ripples on the small surface.
“Drink up, little Banshee; there is more.” A chair galloped up and stopped opposite the sofa and he settled himself elegantly into it, crossing his legs deliberately and twitching his tail to lie at his side. A cup and saucer of his own appeared in his hands. “Now, tell me why you were walking in the rain all alone.”
Absurdly, he made me think of a television therapist. I wondered how long it would take before he asked me “and how does that make you *feel*?”
I could picture it so clearly in my head that I snickered. He cocked an eyebrow encouragingly.
“Just something silly,” I hedged, and then sighed. “I just wanted to think,” I admitted to his question. “About... things. Life. Secrets. Friends. How easy it is to be hurt by your friends...”
He sat up sharply, teacup vanishing. “Who has hurt you? The Wyvern? That snarky little Dragon? The...” he hesitated, then continued. “The... Puma...?”
“No!” Crap. Open mouth, insert foot, Duo! I snapped to myself. “They haven’t hurt me! They would never hurt me! It’s just... other people.”
“Other friends...?”
I swallowed. She had been, hadn’t she? My friend. I thought so at the time. Thought I knew Humans after living with them for seven years. Thought they couldn’t possibly put anything over on me.
“They are not your friends if they hurt you,” he pronounced solemnly.
The snort that came then sounded strangled even to me. “You’re a demon, Zeph; what would you know about friends?”
And then he was right in front of me, down on one knee on the rich Persian rug looking straight into my eyes, his own ice-blue eyes sharp but not angry.
“Only what I have learned from you, little Banshee.”
Crap.
I stared into his eyes, seeing myself reflected in his bottomless pupils.
I closed my eyes and reached one arm around his neck in a half-hug. “I’m sorry; that was mean. I shouldn’t have said that.” Damn. Here he was, acting in a very un-demonly way, trying to be empathetic and I was sniping at him. Bloody hell... When would I ever get my damn balance back? Just how far and how long was I going to have to search to find “me” again?
He brought one arm around my waist, careful to avoid the cup and saucer I still held. “I understand that you are... hurt,” he murmured against my hair. “I would like to... to help?” He drew back far enough to look at my face and I saw that he looked uncertain. “That is what I am supposed to say, isn’t it? As a concerned friend?”
I thought of what Q said; that I had civilized a demon. I snickered helplessly. “Yeah; that’s what you’re supposed to say.” The idea of a demon being more human than a Human seemed awfully amusing suddenly, given how evil demons are supposed to be. “Thanks, Zeph,” I said softly and he smirked, looking very pleased with himself for a moment.
“I have not even tried to see you, knowing that the Wyvern would be... not pleased,” he admitted hesitantly. I could feel him picking carefully, searching for the right words to convey feelings that demons didn’t normally have. Q said I was worth all the trouble I’d brought... “But it has been several weeks,” Zephyrus continued; “and I... I have worried about you; why are you still unhappy, Banshee? You are safely back now, with your... your friends, and you say they have not hurt you...”
There wasn’t a table handy; I managed to set the cup and saucer on the floor before the shudder got far enough for me to drop them. The wrenching wave of flashback and its terrible feeling of panic, humiliation, regret swept over me with not a bit of warning, building so swiftly that I could only wrap my arms over my ribs, clench my teeth and just try not to scream as it all replayed itself with horrifying clarity on the insides of my eyelids.
“Duo? Duo!”
I heard him, felt his hands on my arms, but right at that moment, I needed everything I had to keep from shattering where I sat. I don’t know when the sobs began, or when I collapsed into his arms. When I was finally aware of my surroundings again, I was in his arms, almost in his lap, and crying wretchedly on his shoulder.
Given the interest Zephyrus has shown in me, I would have expected him to relish this moment and take full advantage. Instead, he brushed my bangs back from my face and asked anxiously, “Shall I call the Wyvern? I will bring him here for you.”
Oh, yeah; *that* would make things better. Right. Heero would have an aneurism on the spot.
“God, no!” I gasped. “He’d kill you before you could explain...” I scrubbed a hand over my face, trying to get myself back into the here-and-now. “Just... gimme a few seconds...”
He nodded, even though I could see that he wasn’t sure. Do demons even know how to do protective? I know they’re right up there with Dragons when it comes to possessive.
Demon or no, he was a perfect gentleman while I got the damned tears stopped and my heart rate under control and chased away the remnants of the attack. He just continued rubbing my back and gently petting my hair and making a sound that could almost be mistaken for purring. Do foxes purr? I always thought only felines did that. And what a time to wonder about that. Have I ever mentioned how good I am at denial?
Zephyrus sighed then and said quietly, “I do not understand why you let that female spirit you away like that.”
And there it was. The censure I had expected from the Sheriff’s detective, from my friends, from my lover. I *let* her drug me. I *let* her take me away. I *let* that pervert rape me. I *let* it happen, therefore it was my fault. I was as guilty as they were; more so, because I had enabled them to hurt me. I *let* it happen, so I *wanted* it to happen. It was all my responsibility.
All my little bits and pieces exploded at once and I started screaming, barely aware of what I was saying.
A fine haze seemed to cover everything, vaguely purple; just enough to make everything look fuzzy and slightly off-kilter. I could see myself from... outside myself. It didn’t scare me; I don’t think I really felt anything but a rather annoyed embarrassment over the ridiculous amount of scenery-chewing by a really lousy actor.
It took me a few ticks to realize that that lousy actor was me, and that I seemed to be having some sort of... temper tantrum, or maybe a complete emotional collapse.
How humiliating....
Zephyrus just watched; one eyebrow arched in genteel confusion.
I needed...
I blinked uncertainly. What did I need? Um... I needed to... to... do something. Yes. I needed to stop... myself... from... from...
From what...?
I frowned, still watching myself behaving... badly.
Oh, yes. I needed to stop myself from behaving like an idiot. And in front of a demon, no less.
But if that was me... and I was me...
How did that happen...?
Was this what Humans called astral projection? And what the hell was I doing *projecting* myself to *here*, when I should be *there*, having a meltdown in front of a demon...?
And why was I saying...?
Shit! *Shit!*
My own voice, coming from my own mouth saying – telling the *demon* fergodsake! – that I had been raped!
I dropped my head into my hands. I would have to dig a hole to hide in and pull the damn thing over me. Shit. Double shit...
I may have whimpered.
...and everything changed again.
Zephyrus had hold of my shoulders; I had a hold of his arms. I was panting again – like I couldn’t freaking get enough air into my lungs – and that weird hysterical feeling was winding itself up inside of me.
“Zeph! Let go of me!” I shrieked. Crap, I could hear the panic in my own voice. The toad demon; Kevin the pervert; Wufei... Oh shit. “Let *go* of me!” It happened when I was scared... really scared. And right now, Zephyrus was scaring the crap outta me.
“Duo! I wasn’t blaming you!” he yelled in my face.
“Let go!” I pulled against his grip, but he was stronger. ~ Is he strong enough; stronger than the power? ~ hissed the voice in my head. “Zeph! You’re scaring me!”
He let go suddenly, and I landed on the satin sofa, gasping for breath. He reached for me again, but I held up my hand.
“No! No... Don’t scare me, Zeph,” I gasped. “I’m-I’m dangerous when I’m scared...” And didn’t that just sound ridiculous? He would find that just hysterically funny.
But he drew back uncertainly and I was able to breathe. He was a demon and not exactly on my approved friends list, the one Heero seems to carry in his head for me, but I didn’t want to hurt him.
Especially... I blinked, looking around the room while I caught my breath. Especially as I had no idea where I was or how I would get home without him. And right then, I really wanted to go home.
“Duo... I would never hurt you,” he said gently. “I only want to... to help.”
“I... know... And I don’t want to hurt you, either.” He arched one eyebrow, clearly not seeing any way that I could be a danger to him. I didn’t enlighten him. “I want to go home,” I said. “Please just take me home...”
He frowned, his hands hovering as if he wanted to touch me again, but couldn’t as long as I was upset. “All right,” he said reluctantly. “You’re sure I can’t remove that traitorous female?”
“I’m sure,” I sighed. Guess I had just blurted out everything; terrific. “Just let it be, Zephyrus.” It was over and nearly done with; I just wanted to stop dwelling on what happened and work on finding myself again. I wanted to stop crying and whining and scaring my friends and my lover, as well as – now – my personal koriyoukai.
And I really need to get over this tendency to run when things got complicated. Heero was going to be livid.
“By your request,” said Zephyrus quietly, “I will refrain from exacting vengeance in your name, but please know that I am at your service, Banshee.” And he swept a low bow.
“Just don’t tell Heero or Wufei that,” I muttered. They’d both go ballistic.
...tbc...
