...anybody want a bunny...? please.
Nov. 19th, 2004 06:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lavandarlizard2Like I said, *somebody* fed the damn bunnies.... And they're *still* sniffing around this thing...
25a – Ii kibarashi – Mermaids in the Moonlight
“Tro?” asked Duo hesitantly. “You sure you’re up to this?”
The Were-Puma hugged the wooden fence, fumbling with his sunglasses. Who knew California would be so *bright* this time of year?
“I’m... fine,” he managed to whisper. “I took some more of the dog hair stuff; it’s working.” Just not very quickly. He finally got the glasses unfolded and properly settled on his face. “Okay,” he said with an attempt at a smile. “Brief me on the... Mermaids, did Wufei say?”
Duo sighed his relief; for a while he’d thought Trowa would be better off home in bed, but the bright sunshine, warm temperature and fresh ocean breeze seemed to be doing him some real good. Duo pulled out the case folder to check the complaint.
“Complaint was called in by a third party at the request of the homeowner,” he read, nodding in the direction of the fence. “I wonder... Oh, here it is. The third party is a Mundane Human with Magical connections.” They were always supposed to ask any callers how they heard about the Office; for statistical purposes. Not that the Magical Creatures cared about statistics, but Humans seemed to love the things, even the Magical Humans. Duo nearly expired from boredom the day he had lunch with Q and Estaban, and was forced to endure two hours of quibbling over Quidditch. Even the memory made him shudder.
“But,” he continued, “The homeowner is strictly Mundane.” He put his back against the fence as he continued to pick out the pertinent details.
Trowa leaned one shoulder against the warm wood, basking in the warmth of the sun on his back. Duo had a nice smooth voice. Very soothing. Not like a certain shrill, screeching Dragon of his acquaintance...
“The Mer showed up on Tuesday, or at least that’s when they were discovered. A male and two females. The homeowner tried to chase them off, but we know how well *that* works...”
Trowa snorted softly; Mer were famous for their attitude if you approached them wrong. On a good day they could give even Wufei a run for his money.
“No kidding,” Duo agreed, answering the snort. “HO called an exterminator, who just laughed at her, then the local police, fire department and finally animal control. Animal control!” he snorted indignantly. “Great Dragons! Someone at the animal control office called us.” He looked up at the Were-Puma. “I can hardly wait to meet this flake.”
Shaking his head, he rang the bell below the intercom pad and waited.
“Um, Trowa...?”
“Yes?”
“Do you want to handle this? You *are* my senior.”
“Nah. The potion is helping, but I still feel like I’m packed in cotton. You handle the HO and I’ll try to talk to the Mer.”
“Got it.”
“May I help you?” said a staticy voice from the intercom.
They identified themselves and a few minutes later, a woman appeared to open the gate and lead them around the side of the house.
As soon as they cleared the landscaping and caught sight of the pool, they knew why the Mer had chosen to squat here. The thing was huge, Mediterranean blue and had its own little island, complete with fountain and palm tree. One of the females was paddling under the spray from the fountain while the other female and the male lounged on the little concrete island.
A woman, probably the homeowner, sat on a tall stool at a small bar, a cigarette in one hand and a cellphone glued to her ear. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, goddammit!” she yelled into the phone. “If you want to be so fucking helpful, get off your fat ass and get over here with a goddamn frying pan and we’ll have catch of the fucking day!” She snapped the phone shut and threw it in the direction of the house. “Marie!” she shrieked.
“Right here, ma’am,” said the woman with a well-concealed sigh. “The gentlemen from the... the agency are here.”
“Geez! It’s about fucking time!” snarled the homeowner. She spun around and hopped off the barstool, striding toward them with her long dark hair whipping around her.
Duo blinked and wondered if he could possibly be seeing what he thought he was seeing. Couldn’t be. Surely, it just could not be.
“I want those- those *things* out of my pool!” the woman snapped. “Right now! I’m having a party tomorrow night, and those things are *not* part of my decorations! Get them out of here!”
O~kay. Yep, it was definitely *her*. Well, obviously introductions were not necessary. Trowa gave him a wide-eyed look behind his sunglasses, and muttered “I’ll talk to him,” before beating a retreat to the edge of the pool.
“Um... My partner is going to see if we can come to an agreement,” he began as the woman stopped in front of him, puffing furiously on her cigarette.
“Agreement?! Whaddya mean ‘*agreement*’?” she snarled again. “There’s no ‘*agreement*’ here! This is *my* property; I want those fucking freaks out! *Now*!”
Damn... She sounded worse than a rabid wolverine. Worse than a snarling Wufei, come to think of it.
Duo sighed. Time for a little lesson on dealing with Magical Creatures. “Ma’am, if we could just step over here...” He steered her toward some deck chairs. She strode ahead of him impatiently, flicking the cigarette butt into a potted plant. Poor thing, Duo sympathized as he passed it.
For a woman of her age, she certainly dressed... young, he noted idly. She had to be pushing sixty, and yet she was sporting a string bikini, complete with the butt-flossing bottom. He regretted letting her precede him; he really didn’t need to see *that*. Then again, she’d never been known for her good taste...
Once seated, he made what he fully expected to be a futile explanation.
“First of all, ma’am, we can’t *make* them leave if they don’t want to.” Her eyes bulged angrily and she snatched up a pack of cigarettes. Crap, he hoped he was sufficiently upwind. At least she didn’t interrupt. “Mer don’t leave the sea without a good reason, so we need to learn their reason for being here, and then we can try to negotiate a compromise.”
“*Compromise*?! It’s *my* damn pool!” She sucked in smoke and blew it out over his head.
Duo sighed. Crap.
At the pool’s edge, Trowa crouched down and trilled a greeting to the Mer. The male looked him over for a moment, then swam over to rest his arms on the tiled edge, head tilted questioningly.
“Good morning,” said Trowa politely. “There seems to be a bit of a problem here; may we discuss it?”
The Mer ran a hand over his gleaming green horns. [I suppose if we must,] he sighed. [It hasn’t stopped screaming since –] A picture of a blazing sunset appeared in Trowa’s mind. [My females are becoming irritated.]
“I can see how objectionable that would be,” Trowa commiserated. “She certainly has volume.”
The Mer eyed the woman distastefully. [It does not use this water; only lies on the side baking. I do not see what the problem is.]
“She’s Human, and they’re rather territorial. They tend to get upset when they feel threatened.”
[We do not impinge upon its earth.]
Trowa sat down cross-legged and leaned closer, lowering his voice. “She owns everything within the fenceline, including the water; it’s all part of her range. She is apparently not a generous type of Human.”
[Huh! Are *any* of them generous?] snorted the Mer.
“Oh, yes; I have met some who are amazingly kind and generous,” Trowa said seriously.
[I don’t suppose any have water they would share...]
Trowa blinked. “Is there something in the sea that forced you here?”
[The teeth,] the Mer sighed. [Many more than are common this time of year. I must protect my females. Many of my brothers and sisters have been lost this season.]
“Sharks?” frowned Trowa. “No, that’s not good... Hmm... Let me see if she’ll listen to reason.” The Mer nodded and pushed off to drift back to the island where the females waited for him.
Trowa uncurled from the ground and joined Duo at the small table. The Banshee was rubbing his temples; not a good sign. The table was littered with cigarette butts and the area around it stunk of cigarette smoke. Ick.
“What’s the story, Trowa?” he asked wearily.
“Sharks,” he said concisely. “An increase in the shark population. He wants to protect his females.”
Duo blinked. “Oh. There’s not much we can do about the sharks... Hm...” He looked at the HO. “They’re just trying to stay safe; the sharks are bothering them. What about letting them stay for a while, just until the sharks move on?”
The dark-haired woman stared at him in disbelief before breaking out in a raucous laugh. “You’ve *got* to be kidding! Hell, *no*! I’m having a party! *Tomorrow* night! You get those goddamn fish outta my pool by tomorrow morning, or I’ll have them fucking shot and served for dinner!”
“They’re not fish!” exclaimed Trowa in horror. “They’re *Mer*! They are intelligent, civilized creatures!”
“They’re in *my* pool!” she shrieked.
Duo stood up. “You,” he growled furiously, “Are a gold-plated bitch!”
She was on her feet in an instant, and before he realized what was happening, her open palm connected with his face, almost knocking him down. “You *shut* the fuck up! Who the *fuck* are you to tell me what to do?! If those things are afraid of sharks, *too fuckin’ bad*! Let ‘em take their goddamn chances with the rest of the fish! Get ‘em out of my pool, or I shoot them!” She swung around and stalked into the massive house.
:: She’s got a... a butterfly on her butt...:: thought Trowa inanely, staring after her as he steadied the startled Banshee.
Duo stared at the house, fairly shaking with fury. “I *hate* Humans!” he spat, and rubbed at the red welt on his cheek. “God *damn* her!”
“Excuse me...”
They looked over at the woman who had brought them around the house. She looked embarrassed.
“You really need to do something,” she said quietly. “She will have them shot. When she gets mad... Well, she’s used to getting what she wants. You know?”
Duo nodded tightly, still too angry to manage a polite response. Trowa sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. Thanks a lot, Wufei, he thought ruefully. Snarky damn Dragon.
“Trowa, what’re we gonna do?” hissed Duo when the woman had gone. “They can’t go back to the sea right now if the sharks are out there, but that bitch is crazy!”
“Thinking,” Trowa muttered. “Not thinking of anything helpful though. Oh!” He snapped his fingers. “Kind and generous Humans! Of course!” He whipped out his cellphone and hit a speed dial number, as Duo stared at him, mystified.
“This is Trowa; may I talk to him?” he said breathlessly into the phone. “Thanks!” He looked at Duo and whispered, “Think positively!” Duo nodded eagerly and held up crossed fingers. Trowa blinked but returned his attention to the phone. “I’m sorry to bother you, but we need a favor from someone in this area...” He detailed the problem, and then listened for a few minutes. Finally, his face lit up eagerly. “Oh, that’s perfect! Let me go talk to him; hang on.” He hit the mute button. “We might have an alternate location, if they agree,” he said to Duo. They both hurried to the pool’s edge.
“Would you be willing to move to a safer pool? One where the Humans would welcome you?” Trowa asked excitedly.
The Mer floated lazily for a moment. [If there is such a thing, we would welcome it.]
“There is,” Trowa grinned. “And not far from here.” He killed the mute and spoke to the phone. “He says they would agree to that. How soon can we do it? The HO here is a crazy woman; she just belted Duo one in the face and we’re afraid she might try to harm the Mer.” He listened for a few minutes more. “That’s wonderful! Thanks, Q!” He closed the phone and tucked it back into his pocket.
“Q?” asked Duo.
“Yeah. He knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone who lives down the highway who has a lovely pool, and who is currently in Mongolia or someplace making a film, so the house is empty except for the caretaker, and he’s fine with Magical Creatures,” he explained in a rush.
Duo bounced in place. “All right, Q! So how do we do this?”
“Museffa will be here in a few minutes to do the port.” He began explaining to the male Mer what had been worked out. The Mer nodded in agreement.
[This is fine water, but that thing makes it seem sour. We will be happy to have less beauty and more contentment. I will tell my females.] He swam to the island and the females met him anxiously.
“Q knows everyone, doesn’t he?” said Duo.
“Maybe not everyone, but a whole lot of people. His family is very wealthy,” said Trowa.
Duo looked at him, startled. “Really? I never realized that.”
Trowa chuckled. “Well, your concept of money is kind of... fluid?”
“That’s true... But... if he’s wealthy, and Human, why is he working for the Office of Magic?”
Trowa snorted a laugh. “Because he’s one of the most powerful Wizards ever! He likes his job! He likes Magical Creatures! Haven’t you figured that out yet, Duo?”
Duo snerked and gave Trowa a shove. “Of course, I know that! I just didn’t realize he was wealthy... He seems so... um... not-wealthy?”
Trowa grinned at him and draped an arm around his shoulders for a quick squeeze. “Hey, my headache is gone. Want to get lunch after this? Heero’s buying. By the way, Q says he’s sorry she belted you.”
Duo touched again at the handprint on his face. “Gah. Do you think it’ll swell? Heero’s gonna be pissed.”
“And you’re not?” Trowa snorted. He examined the red mark. “It does look a little swollen. Hurt much?”
“Kinda. Damn it; she even made a movie about mermaids once.”
Trowa blinked. “You mean she’s famous?”
“Oh, yeah... But damn, she’s still a bitch. Ouch...” Finally, it began to hurt in earnest.
A shimmer in the air announced that arrival of the porter. Trowa explained the mission and had her port him to the target location so that he could make contact and confirm the information with the resident caretaker. Duo stayed behind to make sure that the Mer weren’t bothered and to dig in his bag for a jar of all-purpose healing cream. It might not get rid of the welt, but it would at least make it hurt less.
The male swam over to look at him shortly after Trowa and Museffa left. [May I ask a question?] he said politely, after eyeing the Banshee's face with a frown.
“Oh sure,” said Duo sitting down.
[The females wish to know; is that truly your hair?]
Duo blinked. “You mean, is it real? Well, yeah.” He drew his braid over his shoulder; the Mer reached out, hesitating briefly.
[May I?]
“Help yourself.” Duo leaned out to let him touch the end of his braid.
[Very nice,] he smiled. [My females are jealous of the color; they have never seen hair of rubies.]
Duo blushed. “Thanks. My mother and my aunt had red hair too, and my niece has reddish blonde hair. I guess it runs in my family.”
[Are you a Human?]
“I’m a Banshee.”
[I do not know what that is.]
“Um... Have you heard of Elves?”
[Yes; there are river Elves up the coast; sometimes we have dealings with them. They seem good sorts.]
“Banshees are a little bit like Elves. We come from the same branch; Banshees just don’t mix with others much.”
[Ah. Well, you seem a good sort of Creature. Thank you for assisting us. I regret that it chose to attack you so violently.]
“Thanks,” Duo grinned, “And you’re very welcome. And that was kind of my own fault. I shouldn’t have said what I said.” He stretched out on the edge of the pool. “Which of the females is your mate?” he asked.
[Both are mine.]
“Oh. They both look quite healthy and agreeable.” Both things were usually safe to mention when dealing with Magical Creatures.
The Mer glanced at his females with a certain amount of pride. [They are fine strong females; I hope to have many fine strong offspring from them. That is why I wished to take them out of the sea until the teeth have gone.]
Duo gave an involuntary shudder. “Oh, man, that would be awful, to lose someone to a shark. Those things scare me.” He trailed one hand in the water. “I went to the aquarium once and they had an exhibit of sharks. Geez, those things are nothing but eating machines!”
[Yes... Normally, we can deal with them, but there are so many this season, and they are very hungry.]
Trowa and Museffa appeared then.
“All set!” said Trowa rubbing his hands together. “It’s a great pool. Not as big as this but it’s got several levels and really lush landscaping and it’s only about a hundred meters from the sea.” He knelt on the tiles to explain to the Mer what they would do.
It took only a few minutes. The Mer gathered what they wished to take with them and they all made the link. And instant later they were at the other pool. The female Mer hummed their approval and slipped into the water eagerly. The male slid over the edge and turned.
[This is very good; much closer to the food. Thank you for your assistance.]
“No problem,” Duo smiled.
The caretaker waited a few meters away, looking slightly awed to have real live Mer in his pool.
Trowa and Duo went to speak with him after dismissing Museffa with thanks for her help.
“Hi,” began Duo. “I’m Duo; I assume you’ve already spoken with Trowa.”
“Yeah... I’m Rob; Rob Chesniak.” They shook hands. “Man, I can hardly believe it... Real mermaids...”
“Actually, they’re called Mer. They shouldn’t be any problem; they just want a safe place to hang until the sharks move off.”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Hell, who wouldn’t?” He couldn’t seem to stop staring at the Mer. “They don’t look much like, you know, Disney mermaids, do they?” With their colorful horns, fierce, flat faces and dangerous-looking teeth and talons.
Trowa laughed outright. “Most Magical Creatures bear little resemblance to their fictional counterparts,” he smirked.
“Wow... Yeah... Um... Can I talk to them, or should I just, you know, let them be?” Rob wondered.
“I don’t think he’ll let you talk to his females, but you might try some casual conversation with the male. They’re telepathic; he’ll give you both words and pictures. If you’re not sure of something, just ask; I’m sure he’ll tell you. He seems to be pretty reasonable, as long as his females are cared for.” Duo looked over at the pool, or rather pools. One of the females was in the top-most pool, leaning over the waterfall and laughing at something one of the others was doing in the next pool down. All at once she slithered over the edge, sliding down the smooth tiles to splash into the catchpool. She surfaced giggling. “Yeah,” Duo grinned, “I think they’ll be okay here.” He handed Rob a card. “If there is any kind of problem, call us.”
“Oh, yeah. Sure thing. Wow.” He was back to staring at the Mer and barely glanced at Duo’s card.
“Especially call us,” Trowa interjected firmly, “if you don’t see the male for longer than two days. That’s important. He’ll go back to the sea to hunt, but he’ll never be gone more than twelve hours at a time. If you don’t see him for two days running, call us.”
Rob nodded. “You mean, ‘cuz something might have got him?” He looked just a little startled.
“Yes.”
Duo took a moment to hope that nothing bothered the Mer.
“Damn...” said the caretaker. “Maybe I could, you know, buy something so he doesn’t have to go out so often? What do they eat?”
Trowa smiled gently, and Duo had the distinct feeling that he’d gotten exactly the response he wanted. “Talk to him; make an offer. He’ll tell you if it’s acceptable. Thanks for your help, Rob.”
“Yeah, thanks a lot,” added Duo happily.
“Hey, no problem. Gotta help each other out, you know?”
They waved to the Mer, who waved back, and then made their way out of the estate to the highway.
“That was slick, Trowa,” Duo laughed. “Did you expect him to offer to feed them?”
The Were-Puma shrugged. “I had hopes. Rob seems a pretty relaxed, easy-going sort of person.”
“I’ll bet he surfs and skates and has no interest beyond that,” Duo smirked. “But a good heart all the same.”
Trowa sighed contentedly. “I like knowing that there are good Humans around. Even non-Magical ones.”
“Same as everybody else,” Duo sighed. “Sometimes the rotten ones just take up all the space in your head and you forget the good.” He laced his fingers with Trowa’s companionably. “It’s almost lunchtime; where shall we go?”
“You know, I feel great now; let’s go to that fish place in Santa Monica and make good use of Heero’s plastic.”
“All right! Hey, you started to say something to me at the office about Wufei, and he cut you off. What was it?”
“Ah, it’s not important. I’m just really glad I didn’t hurt you when I pounced on you yesterday. Oh, there’s a cab; quick, before he gets away!”
...tbc...
25a – Ii kibarashi – Mermaids in the Moonlight
“Tro?” asked Duo hesitantly. “You sure you’re up to this?”
The Were-Puma hugged the wooden fence, fumbling with his sunglasses. Who knew California would be so *bright* this time of year?
“I’m... fine,” he managed to whisper. “I took some more of the dog hair stuff; it’s working.” Just not very quickly. He finally got the glasses unfolded and properly settled on his face. “Okay,” he said with an attempt at a smile. “Brief me on the... Mermaids, did Wufei say?”
Duo sighed his relief; for a while he’d thought Trowa would be better off home in bed, but the bright sunshine, warm temperature and fresh ocean breeze seemed to be doing him some real good. Duo pulled out the case folder to check the complaint.
“Complaint was called in by a third party at the request of the homeowner,” he read, nodding in the direction of the fence. “I wonder... Oh, here it is. The third party is a Mundane Human with Magical connections.” They were always supposed to ask any callers how they heard about the Office; for statistical purposes. Not that the Magical Creatures cared about statistics, but Humans seemed to love the things, even the Magical Humans. Duo nearly expired from boredom the day he had lunch with Q and Estaban, and was forced to endure two hours of quibbling over Quidditch. Even the memory made him shudder.
“But,” he continued, “The homeowner is strictly Mundane.” He put his back against the fence as he continued to pick out the pertinent details.
Trowa leaned one shoulder against the warm wood, basking in the warmth of the sun on his back. Duo had a nice smooth voice. Very soothing. Not like a certain shrill, screeching Dragon of his acquaintance...
“The Mer showed up on Tuesday, or at least that’s when they were discovered. A male and two females. The homeowner tried to chase them off, but we know how well *that* works...”
Trowa snorted softly; Mer were famous for their attitude if you approached them wrong. On a good day they could give even Wufei a run for his money.
“No kidding,” Duo agreed, answering the snort. “HO called an exterminator, who just laughed at her, then the local police, fire department and finally animal control. Animal control!” he snorted indignantly. “Great Dragons! Someone at the animal control office called us.” He looked up at the Were-Puma. “I can hardly wait to meet this flake.”
Shaking his head, he rang the bell below the intercom pad and waited.
“Um, Trowa...?”
“Yes?”
“Do you want to handle this? You *are* my senior.”
“Nah. The potion is helping, but I still feel like I’m packed in cotton. You handle the HO and I’ll try to talk to the Mer.”
“Got it.”
“May I help you?” said a staticy voice from the intercom.
They identified themselves and a few minutes later, a woman appeared to open the gate and lead them around the side of the house.
As soon as they cleared the landscaping and caught sight of the pool, they knew why the Mer had chosen to squat here. The thing was huge, Mediterranean blue and had its own little island, complete with fountain and palm tree. One of the females was paddling under the spray from the fountain while the other female and the male lounged on the little concrete island.
A woman, probably the homeowner, sat on a tall stool at a small bar, a cigarette in one hand and a cellphone glued to her ear. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, goddammit!” she yelled into the phone. “If you want to be so fucking helpful, get off your fat ass and get over here with a goddamn frying pan and we’ll have catch of the fucking day!” She snapped the phone shut and threw it in the direction of the house. “Marie!” she shrieked.
“Right here, ma’am,” said the woman with a well-concealed sigh. “The gentlemen from the... the agency are here.”
“Geez! It’s about fucking time!” snarled the homeowner. She spun around and hopped off the barstool, striding toward them with her long dark hair whipping around her.
Duo blinked and wondered if he could possibly be seeing what he thought he was seeing. Couldn’t be. Surely, it just could not be.
“I want those- those *things* out of my pool!” the woman snapped. “Right now! I’m having a party tomorrow night, and those things are *not* part of my decorations! Get them out of here!”
O~kay. Yep, it was definitely *her*. Well, obviously introductions were not necessary. Trowa gave him a wide-eyed look behind his sunglasses, and muttered “I’ll talk to him,” before beating a retreat to the edge of the pool.
“Um... My partner is going to see if we can come to an agreement,” he began as the woman stopped in front of him, puffing furiously on her cigarette.
“Agreement?! Whaddya mean ‘*agreement*’?” she snarled again. “There’s no ‘*agreement*’ here! This is *my* property; I want those fucking freaks out! *Now*!”
Damn... She sounded worse than a rabid wolverine. Worse than a snarling Wufei, come to think of it.
Duo sighed. Time for a little lesson on dealing with Magical Creatures. “Ma’am, if we could just step over here...” He steered her toward some deck chairs. She strode ahead of him impatiently, flicking the cigarette butt into a potted plant. Poor thing, Duo sympathized as he passed it.
For a woman of her age, she certainly dressed... young, he noted idly. She had to be pushing sixty, and yet she was sporting a string bikini, complete with the butt-flossing bottom. He regretted letting her precede him; he really didn’t need to see *that*. Then again, she’d never been known for her good taste...
Once seated, he made what he fully expected to be a futile explanation.
“First of all, ma’am, we can’t *make* them leave if they don’t want to.” Her eyes bulged angrily and she snatched up a pack of cigarettes. Crap, he hoped he was sufficiently upwind. At least she didn’t interrupt. “Mer don’t leave the sea without a good reason, so we need to learn their reason for being here, and then we can try to negotiate a compromise.”
“*Compromise*?! It’s *my* damn pool!” She sucked in smoke and blew it out over his head.
Duo sighed. Crap.
At the pool’s edge, Trowa crouched down and trilled a greeting to the Mer. The male looked him over for a moment, then swam over to rest his arms on the tiled edge, head tilted questioningly.
“Good morning,” said Trowa politely. “There seems to be a bit of a problem here; may we discuss it?”
The Mer ran a hand over his gleaming green horns. [I suppose if we must,] he sighed. [It hasn’t stopped screaming since –] A picture of a blazing sunset appeared in Trowa’s mind. [My females are becoming irritated.]
“I can see how objectionable that would be,” Trowa commiserated. “She certainly has volume.”
The Mer eyed the woman distastefully. [It does not use this water; only lies on the side baking. I do not see what the problem is.]
“She’s Human, and they’re rather territorial. They tend to get upset when they feel threatened.”
[We do not impinge upon its earth.]
Trowa sat down cross-legged and leaned closer, lowering his voice. “She owns everything within the fenceline, including the water; it’s all part of her range. She is apparently not a generous type of Human.”
[Huh! Are *any* of them generous?] snorted the Mer.
“Oh, yes; I have met some who are amazingly kind and generous,” Trowa said seriously.
[I don’t suppose any have water they would share...]
Trowa blinked. “Is there something in the sea that forced you here?”
[The teeth,] the Mer sighed. [Many more than are common this time of year. I must protect my females. Many of my brothers and sisters have been lost this season.]
“Sharks?” frowned Trowa. “No, that’s not good... Hmm... Let me see if she’ll listen to reason.” The Mer nodded and pushed off to drift back to the island where the females waited for him.
Trowa uncurled from the ground and joined Duo at the small table. The Banshee was rubbing his temples; not a good sign. The table was littered with cigarette butts and the area around it stunk of cigarette smoke. Ick.
“What’s the story, Trowa?” he asked wearily.
“Sharks,” he said concisely. “An increase in the shark population. He wants to protect his females.”
Duo blinked. “Oh. There’s not much we can do about the sharks... Hm...” He looked at the HO. “They’re just trying to stay safe; the sharks are bothering them. What about letting them stay for a while, just until the sharks move on?”
The dark-haired woman stared at him in disbelief before breaking out in a raucous laugh. “You’ve *got* to be kidding! Hell, *no*! I’m having a party! *Tomorrow* night! You get those goddamn fish outta my pool by tomorrow morning, or I’ll have them fucking shot and served for dinner!”
“They’re not fish!” exclaimed Trowa in horror. “They’re *Mer*! They are intelligent, civilized creatures!”
“They’re in *my* pool!” she shrieked.
Duo stood up. “You,” he growled furiously, “Are a gold-plated bitch!”
She was on her feet in an instant, and before he realized what was happening, her open palm connected with his face, almost knocking him down. “You *shut* the fuck up! Who the *fuck* are you to tell me what to do?! If those things are afraid of sharks, *too fuckin’ bad*! Let ‘em take their goddamn chances with the rest of the fish! Get ‘em out of my pool, or I shoot them!” She swung around and stalked into the massive house.
:: She’s got a... a butterfly on her butt...:: thought Trowa inanely, staring after her as he steadied the startled Banshee.
Duo stared at the house, fairly shaking with fury. “I *hate* Humans!” he spat, and rubbed at the red welt on his cheek. “God *damn* her!”
“Excuse me...”
They looked over at the woman who had brought them around the house. She looked embarrassed.
“You really need to do something,” she said quietly. “She will have them shot. When she gets mad... Well, she’s used to getting what she wants. You know?”
Duo nodded tightly, still too angry to manage a polite response. Trowa sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. Thanks a lot, Wufei, he thought ruefully. Snarky damn Dragon.
“Trowa, what’re we gonna do?” hissed Duo when the woman had gone. “They can’t go back to the sea right now if the sharks are out there, but that bitch is crazy!”
“Thinking,” Trowa muttered. “Not thinking of anything helpful though. Oh!” He snapped his fingers. “Kind and generous Humans! Of course!” He whipped out his cellphone and hit a speed dial number, as Duo stared at him, mystified.
“This is Trowa; may I talk to him?” he said breathlessly into the phone. “Thanks!” He looked at Duo and whispered, “Think positively!” Duo nodded eagerly and held up crossed fingers. Trowa blinked but returned his attention to the phone. “I’m sorry to bother you, but we need a favor from someone in this area...” He detailed the problem, and then listened for a few minutes. Finally, his face lit up eagerly. “Oh, that’s perfect! Let me go talk to him; hang on.” He hit the mute button. “We might have an alternate location, if they agree,” he said to Duo. They both hurried to the pool’s edge.
“Would you be willing to move to a safer pool? One where the Humans would welcome you?” Trowa asked excitedly.
The Mer floated lazily for a moment. [If there is such a thing, we would welcome it.]
“There is,” Trowa grinned. “And not far from here.” He killed the mute and spoke to the phone. “He says they would agree to that. How soon can we do it? The HO here is a crazy woman; she just belted Duo one in the face and we’re afraid she might try to harm the Mer.” He listened for a few minutes more. “That’s wonderful! Thanks, Q!” He closed the phone and tucked it back into his pocket.
“Q?” asked Duo.
“Yeah. He knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone who lives down the highway who has a lovely pool, and who is currently in Mongolia or someplace making a film, so the house is empty except for the caretaker, and he’s fine with Magical Creatures,” he explained in a rush.
Duo bounced in place. “All right, Q! So how do we do this?”
“Museffa will be here in a few minutes to do the port.” He began explaining to the male Mer what had been worked out. The Mer nodded in agreement.
[This is fine water, but that thing makes it seem sour. We will be happy to have less beauty and more contentment. I will tell my females.] He swam to the island and the females met him anxiously.
“Q knows everyone, doesn’t he?” said Duo.
“Maybe not everyone, but a whole lot of people. His family is very wealthy,” said Trowa.
Duo looked at him, startled. “Really? I never realized that.”
Trowa chuckled. “Well, your concept of money is kind of... fluid?”
“That’s true... But... if he’s wealthy, and Human, why is he working for the Office of Magic?”
Trowa snorted a laugh. “Because he’s one of the most powerful Wizards ever! He likes his job! He likes Magical Creatures! Haven’t you figured that out yet, Duo?”
Duo snerked and gave Trowa a shove. “Of course, I know that! I just didn’t realize he was wealthy... He seems so... um... not-wealthy?”
Trowa grinned at him and draped an arm around his shoulders for a quick squeeze. “Hey, my headache is gone. Want to get lunch after this? Heero’s buying. By the way, Q says he’s sorry she belted you.”
Duo touched again at the handprint on his face. “Gah. Do you think it’ll swell? Heero’s gonna be pissed.”
“And you’re not?” Trowa snorted. He examined the red mark. “It does look a little swollen. Hurt much?”
“Kinda. Damn it; she even made a movie about mermaids once.”
Trowa blinked. “You mean she’s famous?”
“Oh, yeah... But damn, she’s still a bitch. Ouch...” Finally, it began to hurt in earnest.
A shimmer in the air announced that arrival of the porter. Trowa explained the mission and had her port him to the target location so that he could make contact and confirm the information with the resident caretaker. Duo stayed behind to make sure that the Mer weren’t bothered and to dig in his bag for a jar of all-purpose healing cream. It might not get rid of the welt, but it would at least make it hurt less.
The male swam over to look at him shortly after Trowa and Museffa left. [May I ask a question?] he said politely, after eyeing the Banshee's face with a frown.
“Oh sure,” said Duo sitting down.
[The females wish to know; is that truly your hair?]
Duo blinked. “You mean, is it real? Well, yeah.” He drew his braid over his shoulder; the Mer reached out, hesitating briefly.
[May I?]
“Help yourself.” Duo leaned out to let him touch the end of his braid.
[Very nice,] he smiled. [My females are jealous of the color; they have never seen hair of rubies.]
Duo blushed. “Thanks. My mother and my aunt had red hair too, and my niece has reddish blonde hair. I guess it runs in my family.”
[Are you a Human?]
“I’m a Banshee.”
[I do not know what that is.]
“Um... Have you heard of Elves?”
[Yes; there are river Elves up the coast; sometimes we have dealings with them. They seem good sorts.]
“Banshees are a little bit like Elves. We come from the same branch; Banshees just don’t mix with others much.”
[Ah. Well, you seem a good sort of Creature. Thank you for assisting us. I regret that it chose to attack you so violently.]
“Thanks,” Duo grinned, “And you’re very welcome. And that was kind of my own fault. I shouldn’t have said what I said.” He stretched out on the edge of the pool. “Which of the females is your mate?” he asked.
[Both are mine.]
“Oh. They both look quite healthy and agreeable.” Both things were usually safe to mention when dealing with Magical Creatures.
The Mer glanced at his females with a certain amount of pride. [They are fine strong females; I hope to have many fine strong offspring from them. That is why I wished to take them out of the sea until the teeth have gone.]
Duo gave an involuntary shudder. “Oh, man, that would be awful, to lose someone to a shark. Those things scare me.” He trailed one hand in the water. “I went to the aquarium once and they had an exhibit of sharks. Geez, those things are nothing but eating machines!”
[Yes... Normally, we can deal with them, but there are so many this season, and they are very hungry.]
Trowa and Museffa appeared then.
“All set!” said Trowa rubbing his hands together. “It’s a great pool. Not as big as this but it’s got several levels and really lush landscaping and it’s only about a hundred meters from the sea.” He knelt on the tiles to explain to the Mer what they would do.
It took only a few minutes. The Mer gathered what they wished to take with them and they all made the link. And instant later they were at the other pool. The female Mer hummed their approval and slipped into the water eagerly. The male slid over the edge and turned.
[This is very good; much closer to the food. Thank you for your assistance.]
“No problem,” Duo smiled.
The caretaker waited a few meters away, looking slightly awed to have real live Mer in his pool.
Trowa and Duo went to speak with him after dismissing Museffa with thanks for her help.
“Hi,” began Duo. “I’m Duo; I assume you’ve already spoken with Trowa.”
“Yeah... I’m Rob; Rob Chesniak.” They shook hands. “Man, I can hardly believe it... Real mermaids...”
“Actually, they’re called Mer. They shouldn’t be any problem; they just want a safe place to hang until the sharks move off.”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Hell, who wouldn’t?” He couldn’t seem to stop staring at the Mer. “They don’t look much like, you know, Disney mermaids, do they?” With their colorful horns, fierce, flat faces and dangerous-looking teeth and talons.
Trowa laughed outright. “Most Magical Creatures bear little resemblance to their fictional counterparts,” he smirked.
“Wow... Yeah... Um... Can I talk to them, or should I just, you know, let them be?” Rob wondered.
“I don’t think he’ll let you talk to his females, but you might try some casual conversation with the male. They’re telepathic; he’ll give you both words and pictures. If you’re not sure of something, just ask; I’m sure he’ll tell you. He seems to be pretty reasonable, as long as his females are cared for.” Duo looked over at the pool, or rather pools. One of the females was in the top-most pool, leaning over the waterfall and laughing at something one of the others was doing in the next pool down. All at once she slithered over the edge, sliding down the smooth tiles to splash into the catchpool. She surfaced giggling. “Yeah,” Duo grinned, “I think they’ll be okay here.” He handed Rob a card. “If there is any kind of problem, call us.”
“Oh, yeah. Sure thing. Wow.” He was back to staring at the Mer and barely glanced at Duo’s card.
“Especially call us,” Trowa interjected firmly, “if you don’t see the male for longer than two days. That’s important. He’ll go back to the sea to hunt, but he’ll never be gone more than twelve hours at a time. If you don’t see him for two days running, call us.”
Rob nodded. “You mean, ‘cuz something might have got him?” He looked just a little startled.
“Yes.”
Duo took a moment to hope that nothing bothered the Mer.
“Damn...” said the caretaker. “Maybe I could, you know, buy something so he doesn’t have to go out so often? What do they eat?”
Trowa smiled gently, and Duo had the distinct feeling that he’d gotten exactly the response he wanted. “Talk to him; make an offer. He’ll tell you if it’s acceptable. Thanks for your help, Rob.”
“Yeah, thanks a lot,” added Duo happily.
“Hey, no problem. Gotta help each other out, you know?”
They waved to the Mer, who waved back, and then made their way out of the estate to the highway.
“That was slick, Trowa,” Duo laughed. “Did you expect him to offer to feed them?”
The Were-Puma shrugged. “I had hopes. Rob seems a pretty relaxed, easy-going sort of person.”
“I’ll bet he surfs and skates and has no interest beyond that,” Duo smirked. “But a good heart all the same.”
Trowa sighed contentedly. “I like knowing that there are good Humans around. Even non-Magical ones.”
“Same as everybody else,” Duo sighed. “Sometimes the rotten ones just take up all the space in your head and you forget the good.” He laced his fingers with Trowa’s companionably. “It’s almost lunchtime; where shall we go?”
“You know, I feel great now; let’s go to that fish place in Santa Monica and make good use of Heero’s plastic.”
“All right! Hey, you started to say something to me at the office about Wufei, and he cut you off. What was it?”
“Ah, it’s not important. I’m just really glad I didn’t hurt you when I pounced on you yesterday. Oh, there’s a cab; quick, before he gets away!”
...tbc...
