lavandarlizard2: (Default)
[personal profile] lavandarlizard2
This is out of order. It's an ii kibarashi, so it doesn't necessarily fall in any specific order, but in this case, *this* particular one *is* out of order. This is because several people fed the damn %^&%$#@^$ plot bunnies and they pounced on me yesterday. That result is still in progress, but I planned on posting *this* tonight, therefore the IP chronologically falls *before* this. It'll make sense eventually.

And the next person I see sneaking carrots to the plot bunnies is going to be hip-deep in rabbit pellets. Upside down.

Love you all. XOX



26 – Ii Kibarashi – Sequences



It had taken over three weeks of strenuous coaxing and four drinks tonight – doubles, even – to get Wufei to the point where his words on the subject were even coherent, but all it took now to open the floodgates was Duo’s innocent question, “what’s the big problem with Ling Ping Mei, anyway?” Other than the fact that Wufei was about a seven on the Kinsey scale, of course.

Wufei glared at the group of his friends. “We’re out of sequence!” he snarled. “My parents betrothed me to someone who isn’t even in sequence with me! My parents are in sequence.” He began ticking off the names on his fingers. “Hao Xian is in sequence. Pon Fu is in sequence. Rho Shin is in sequence. Tau Lei is in sequence. An Ming is in sequence. I’M THE ONLY FUCKING ONE OF THEIR CHILDREN THAT THEY BETHROTHED TO SOMEONE WHO ISN’T IN SEQUENCE!!!” he thundered.

Everyone stared at the near-hysterical Were-Dragon. A number of blinks were heard in the silence. Finally, Duo raised his hand hesitantly.

Wufei stared at him, breathing out thin green smoke trails in his agitation. He shook himself, his glossy scales sparkling with the movement. “Yes, Duo?” he inquired pleasantly. “You have a question?” It wasn’t the Banshee's fault that his parents were damn fools.

“Um... I just wondered, Wufei... Why does that matter? I mean; is it that easy to find someone else who’s in sequence, or just a lucky coincidence?”

“Why does it *matter*?” Wufei echoed with a snarl. He reached for his just-refilled glass and swallowed the drink in one gulp. He drew a deep breath and let it out with a stream of blue steam. He floated lazily over to the Banshee and draped one ‘arm’ around his shoulders, his other paw settling lightly on Duo’s forearm, where he rubbed gently.

“You see me in this form, yes?” Duo nodded. “I have a tail, I have wings, I have scales and teeth and claws,” he sing-songed. Again, Duo nodded. Wufei was being a smart-ass, but Duo didn’t mind; the Were-Dragon could be quite entertaining when in this kind of mood. “Now, if we have sex, what happens?” Heero Glared. Wufei ignored him. “Hypothetically, dammit.”

“Um...” Duo looked him over, noting the teeth and claws. “I probably wind up wrapped in bandages like a mummy.”

“Oh, good Duo! *Good* Banshee!” Wufei nodded eagerly. “You got it!”

Duo eyed him warily; he didn’t *want* it. “So, not being in the same phase is a bad thing, right?”

“Well, yes, my darling little one; yes, it is. It means that my parents are willing to CONDEMN ME TO A LIFETIME OF NO DRAGON-SEX, that’s what it means.” He smiled pleasantly; Duo didn’t move. That pleasant ‘smile’ with its inch-long teeth was right against his face.

“Oh. That’s not good,” he managed to murmur.

“And even more deplorable of them,” continued Wufei as he licked Duo’s face – ignoring Heero’s warning growl – and then floated back to his own seat; “She’s pink.”

Blink. Blink-blink.

“I’m sorry?” said Duo, just because no one else seemed willing to.

Wufei waved his paw airily as he settled onto his chair. “She’s pink. Ling Ping Mei is pink. She is a *pink* dragon. How tacky is that? We would clash.” He signaled to the Fairy server for another drink.

Duo stared at him. “Oh, sure; of course you would. Can’t have that...”

Trowa coughed softly and seemed to find his drink the most interesting thing he’d ever seen.

Date: 2004-11-14 05:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloodywingz.livejournal.com
Pink? Are you trying to sneak Relena into the picture under a different name?

Date: 2004-11-14 05:47 pm (UTC)
merula31: by Sami (1x2)
From: [personal profile] merula31
Okay the out of sequence thing I could see- though it would give Wufei a good out- "Not tonight dear, I've got scales." And aren't he and Trowa *in* sequence??

But pink? What shade of pink? Day-glo pink? Rose pink? Light pink? Some of them wouldn't clash with him. (And some would clash horribly...)

I do so love how Duo raised his hand. Smart boy.

Date: 2004-11-14 05:54 pm (UTC)
ext_42681: (play)
From: [identity profile] kracken.livejournal.com
I loved it. A nice fic to go to bed to. Thank you! *hugs*

Date: 2004-11-14 06:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sunhawk16.livejournal.com
Dear Lord... bad sequence and no true fashion sense! The woman is obviously the daughter they couldn't find someone for! ^o^
Tipsy Wufei is funny. *snort* He doesn't fear much in that mode, does he? :P

Date: 2004-11-14 07:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloodywingz.livejournal.com
You know... Rabbits like other things besides carrots. Like cabbage! Yes... I have a plan now.

Date: 2004-11-14 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
Well, you know what they say about drunks and common sense... Let's see... four, five, six... yeah, he's just about under the table, if not the host.

Date: 2004-11-14 07:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
Oh, crap... Release the hounds!!!

Date: 2004-11-14 07:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
You are most welcome! ^_^

Date: 2004-11-14 07:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloodywingz.livejournal.com
Hounds are quite fickle. They can be easily bribed with steak and a butt scratch.

Date: 2004-11-14 07:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
Yep, Wufei and Trowa are in sequence almost to the minute. But as they're different species, that really doesn't apply. Besides, they haven't even 'noticed' each other.

Mmm... The pink I am refering to has been called 'titty pink'. It would clash. Trust me.

Date: 2004-11-14 07:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
*gasps in horror*

Relena?! Where?!

Date: 2004-11-14 07:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloodywingz.livejournal.com
Whatever you do, don't let her in your house. You'll never get rid of her if you do. She likes feeding plot bunnies steroids.

Date: 2004-11-14 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
These guys are pissed vegetarians.

Date: 2004-11-14 07:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
*assembles high-powered rifle*

Nope; no Relenas here...

Date: 2004-11-14 07:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloodywingz.livejournal.com
Well since I'm passing out cabbage anyways, will be no skin off my back to share with them. ^_^

Date: 2004-11-14 07:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
Yep, they just love vegetables... And whatever is attached to the vegetables. Better toss those leaves...

Date: 2004-11-14 07:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloodywingz.livejournal.com
Sure about that? She could be stalking you because you've written Heero as Duo's lover. She will get revenge. =) *hands you more ammo* If you do see her. Give her a bullet from me.

Date: 2004-11-14 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloodywingz.livejournal.com
Throwing cabbage should be just like throwing a softball right?

Date: 2004-11-14 07:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sunhawk16.livejournal.com
You know... at the rate you guys are feeding these things, they're about the size of bears now... O.o

Date: 2004-11-14 07:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloodywingz.livejournal.com
You know Lav. We could just start donating those steroid laden cabbages to Sunny's brood.

Date: 2004-11-14 08:01 pm (UTC)
merula31: by Sami (1x2)
From: [personal profile] merula31
I know, I know... wishful thinking on my part...

Ah, I think I can guess what shade that is. *grimaces* Icky! Fei has a good point then.

Date: 2004-11-14 11:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavendarlizard.livejournal.com
Here hamster, hamster, hamster....

Steroid-Laden carrots

Date: 2004-11-15 02:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lordryous.livejournal.com
Hmm, what a cute little snippet. I mus say, poor poor wu fei, no dragon sex, quite understandable, unless Ling Ping Mei is kinky
: chuckles :
Hmm, what to do what to do, I dunno if i should start tossing carrots or not, your plot bunnies just arent fat enough.
Im thinking Ill fill the carrots with lemon juice and toss out pictures of kitsune as well.

Date: 2004-11-15 03:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sunhawk16.livejournal.com
Hey, wait... O.O

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