...sometimes failure is sweet...
Sep. 1st, 2004 07:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lavandarlizard2I was going to hang onto this for a couple more days, but I'm under attack from anxiety again. It's the old job-hunting thing again. Having just watched in astonishment as a human being transformed herself willingly into a shivering blob of amoeba-like angst and then chewed the hell out of the metaphorical scenary, I have decided to take my leave of the circus where I currently work. I think clownism is contagious, and I haven't had my shots this year...
And to think I usually consider myself a wuss...
Anyway, hope everyone enjoys the last part of this part. I can't make predictions on when the next part of anything will pop up; the bunnies are milling about rather aimlessly at the moment.... Where are the cowboy hamsters when you need them?
BFB - Part 079e - Mommie Darling
Dinner that evening was expectedly surreal. I will not go into the indecent amount of laughter provoked by Kohaku’s photo albums; suffice to say that many memories were brought back and I found once again that I am not immune to incendiary blushes.
As far as Duo’s presentation of presents... Well, many of the details escape me, probably for very good reasons, but you may have the high points.
I tried again before dinner to tell Duo that he needn’t offer gifts, and he told me again to suck it up; he was presenting gifts whether I liked it or not.
Truth be told, I was getting curious to see what he had tucked away in that bag. I was not allowed to see what he was making during the weeks of frantic knitting, or the hours of desperate beading, so there was a certain irritation in my manner. There were gifts for both children, as well as for Giniro and Kohaku and I had a feeling that Kiba had not been forgotten.
I had even caught him making notes in our room, planning for future projects for Faiesa and Rigel. If I wasn’t careful the entire Clan could be sporting Banshee creations by the end of the year.
But dinner was now finished. New photos had been taken, adding Duo to Kohaku’s collection. My children had been appropriately spoiled by their Great-Grandmother. Tsutsuji was puffed up like a little toad over her new ability to change form; she kept morphing from one to the other until her mother threatened her with no dessert for a week if she didn’t stop.
Duo excused himself from the table with the admonition that no one was to go anywhere. My grandmother raised one eyebrow at me; I leaned across the table to hiss, “Gifts. He made gifts for all of you. Be nice to him.”
Giniro snorted. “As if I could be anything but!”
“He didn’t have to do that!” cried Kohaku, already checking her camera.
“I know that,” I smirked, “but he did it anyway.”
“Well, what did he bring?” my cousin demanded, as eager as any five-year-old.
“No idea. He wouldn’t let me see.”
And then he was back with his bottomless bag, nervously passing out brightly-wrapped packages.
The children had no qualms about ripping open the boxes and they did so with alacrity.
“IchiBan, you do still have domestic help?” I asked as paper flew everywhere.
“Of course,” she laughed.
We all stared at the children’s presents. Somehow, Duo had managed to slide the two plush toys under my radar. I didn’t know he could sew.
Tsutsuji squealed with delight and hugged the startlingly life-like dragon toy. Then she ran around the table and hugged Duo and kissed his cheek. His face did some interesting things, but I didn’t stare; that would only embarrass him even more. Komori poked at his dragon, glaring. He turned it over and over, looked at it from several angles, then looked at me.
“Doesn’t move,” he growled.
I couldn’t suppress a snort. “Not supposed to,” I replied. “It is to stimulate your own imagination.” No, I do not talk baby talk to my children. My son considered that for a moment, then he nodded emphatically. He paced over to Duo, who looked a little worried, not having followed the conversation, and bowed formally.
“Domo arigato,” he pronounced carefully in Japanese. I made a mental note to myself to ask Kohaku to begin teaching the children English.
Duo smiled, blushing. “You’re welcome...”
Only then did Komori reach out to give him a one-armed hug. Sometimes my son is remarkably... mature... in his behaviors. I noticed that that hand also strayed to touch Duo’s braid as well. Hm... Like father, like son, apparently.
I thought for sure that Duo was going to give off smoke; he turned so red so quickly. He wrapped both arms around Komori for a brief hard squeeze.
The other adults laughed, and Kohaku got to her feet. “Come on now; you guys come play in the other room until bedtime.” She herded them out. She was back a few minutes later, grinning like a Cheshire cat. “Those are gorgeous, Duo! Did you really make them?”
“Um... Yeah... I saw some in a magazine and used that as a starting point. In different colors, of course.”
“Well, they’re just super! So original!”
“I’m glad they like them,” he murmured. “It’s been a long time since I was around kids that age; I was kind of guessing at what they would like.”
“Well, you guessed right, Banshee!”
“Open yours,” I suggested before Duo could spontaneously combust.
She ripped eagerly into the small box and gasped with delight. “Oh Dragons!” she cried holding up the choker. “Oh, it’s beautiful! I love these colors!” She fitted it around her neck. “It’s perfect! You really made this?”
Since Duo was almost speechless with embarrassment, I jumped in. “Of course he made it! My Banshee is a creature of many talents!”
“Oh, I already know that,” she said slyly. “I just didn’t know that Tiffany-quality beading was one of them.”
Duo was hiding behind his hands and didn’t see her swoop up beside him and give him a bear hug. If I thought he was embarrassed before...
In the meantime, Kiba had opened his package with no fanfare.
“Wow!” he exclaimed, holding up the long scarf. “Duo, this is great!” He wrapped it around his neck. “It’s so soft I can barely feel it. How did you know to make this?” he wondered, echoing my own thoughts.
Duo shrugged. “Heero said your Clan is in the north, so I figured maybe it was colder there...”
I blinked. Did every word I uttered go straight into some creative database in my Banshee's head? I need to enquire as to just how he does that.
The scarf did look very soft, almost velvety, and the colors were perfect for Kiba, being an assortment of reds, pinks and oranges. How does he do that? How does he always manage to create something that is perfect for the intended recipient? Is that a part of Banshee magic?
The IchiBan did not go to Duo; instead she crooked a finger at him and he went to her, kneeling at her side as she opened the box. Her gift appeared to be a sweater with some sort of pattern knitted into it. I couldn’t see what it was from my angle, but Kohaku could.
“Oh, Heero!” she gasped. “It’s your parents! And you!”
I leaned, trying to get a better look and Giniro obliged us all by laying it out on the table. Kohaku was right. The pattern was a picture, or rather three pictures. On the back, a portrait of my parents, copied from the photo that hangs in my room at the Castle. On the fronts, pictures of me; one in my human form, the other in my Wyvern form. On the sleeves were the Wyvern characters for family and eternity. The stitches were tiny, the detail stunning; I couldn’t even imagine the effort that had gone into creating that wearable canvas. And in such a short time... My god; when had he slept?
I stared at it. I stared at Duo. He stared at Giniro waiting for her reaction. Her reaction was... tears. I swear I thought I heard the world crack in two. Giniro, the IchiBan, my Sobo, does not cry. Never. But she was touching that fabulous garment, fingers caressing the intricate stitches, and tears were streaming down her face.
Duo... Duo looked... like he wished he could take back the whole thing.
And then she was pulling him down beside her, hugging him and sobbing – *sobbing!* – on his shoulder. The rest of us were just... stunned.
“It’s beautiful!” she wept. “Duo, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!”
Duo’s purple eyes were misting over in spite of his obvious efforts to stop it. “It’s okay... that I did that?” he whispered.
“Yes!” she replied fiercely and kissed his forehead. She stood up and swept the sweater around her, modeling it for all of us. It was styled like a kimono with little shaping; three long rectangles for the back and fronts and the traditional long sleeves, but instead of wrapping, it closed with three small frogs at the neck. The background color was a delicate silver grey with ice-blue braided edging; the portraits were in full color. My mother’s bright green hair, short and spiky, her deep blue eyes... My father’s sunshine-yellow hair with the unruly bangs and the long pony tail hanging over one shoulder, his laughing emerald eyes... Hands clasped, each of them kissing the other’s hand... The picture was taken the day they formally exchanged bands. The equivalent of their wedding day...
I had to close my eyes; at some point I found myself with my head hidden in my crossed arms on the table. I think I had been crying. During that time, Giniro had wrapped herself around my Banshee and he was hanging onto her as if she was the only solid thing in the universe. And I remembered how much he missed the mother he’d never known; how much he missed his aunt. And I think I began to understand some of his anxiety.
I won’t go any further into the emotional scene.
Eventually everything was sorted out. Duo was officially adopted as a member of my Clan, and my grandmother let me know in no uncertain terms that if I ever made the Banshee unhappy, I would answer to her personally.
We made it back to our room after a minimal amount of goodbye hugs, tears and protestations. And photos. Oh, Dragons did Kohaku take photos! That female could make you insane with her clicking shutter.
Duo wilted the moment he walked through the door. He began pulling off clothing immediately, expressing the need – no; the *need* of a shower and sleep. Ordinarily, I would have gone with, but I felt that he needed also a bit of time alone with his own thoughts, so I pointed him toward the shower room and busied myself with tidying the clutter from our otherspaces.
He came back washed, scrubbed and glowing, all soft-eyed and contented, and I congratulated myself on my decision to give him time alone. Sometimes, I do forget that he doesn’t need me with him every minute of every day and that he has reconstruction and relaxation rituals that are none of my business. Doesn’t change the fact that I miss him, but at least I’m not smothering him. I hope.
Of course, he came back wearing that skoor, and that gave my oversexed mind something else to think about...
But no; he was tired, worn out from the trip, the time change, all the attention from strangers and his need to please. We had already played this afternoon, and even though I can never get enough of him, whining and begging is never pretty.
He stood in front of the open door, gazing out at the garden as he combed out his damp hair.
“It’s beautiful here, Heero,” he murmured, “so quiet and serene. And the people are nice...” He turned those glowing eyes my way. “You have a wonderful family.”
For some reason, I felt compelled to downplay their perfection. “They aren’t any different from anyone else, Duo. We argue and fight like any other Clan, and we don’t all get along all the time. There are those I like more than others, and some I am merely polite to. Wufei sneeringly refers to me as the ‘favored son’, but I’m not. It’s more about my parents and my Dragon ancestors than me. Some people are proud of me and my accomplishments; yes, but others think I’ve ‘gone native’, for choosing to live and work among Magical Humans. My mother was the same way; some in the Clan were shocked when she chose to live her life in the outside world, but others understood her independence. She was a Dragon-child; they cut her a lot of slack because of that. And she gave the Clan two more Dragon-children.” I thought about that and how the IchiBan had expressed it to me some months back. “Nikko had a lot of good karma built up within the Clan; I am reaping the benefits of that good will.”
Duo stepped close to me, smiling softly. “You know what, Heero? You think too much. Is it too late to go outside? I want to see the garden in the moonlight...”
I blinked. Hm. My mouth had gotten away from me. And the garden was very enticing in the silvery glow of the almost-full moon.
“Whatever you like, angel,” I breathed. He took my hand and drew me after him; across the deck and down the steps to the path. He headed toward the koi pond.
“I heard the fish this morning,” he whispered out of deference for the lateness of the hour. “But it was all colors and concepts. I wanted to see if I could actually speak with them. Some of them are really old, aren’t they?”
Trust my Banshee to be interested in the thoughts of carp.
“I expect so; they are all older than I am. They have always been here, swimming lazy circles and bubbling at us when we stop to watch them, expecting food but never begging. The big black and silver one has always been my favorite...”
Hm... And here I was talking about talking to fish...
The koi, sensible creatures that they are, were asleep in the deep parts of the pond, but Duo leaned on the railing anyway and peered into the depths.
“They talk in their sleep,” he whispered. “I’m getting all sorts of whispers about food and sunlight and warmth.” He paused, tilting his head curiously. “How funny... They talk about sunlight and sunshine as if those were two different things...”
My throat tightened and I brushed at a lock of his shining hair. Sunlight... That was my mother’s name, translated literally from Japanese... And ‘sunshine walking’ was how my father was described by everyone who knew him...
Great Dragons... Even the *fish*...
“My parents,” I whispered, and he looked up at me. It took him a few seconds, but I had mentioned those things to him at some point, and true to his database he remembered.
“Oh, Heero... Even the fish remember them...” he whispered.
I thought for a startled moment that I was going to break down in tears, but then he was there; pressed against me, his warmth an anchor for my sudden emotional dislocation, his bright eyes dark with concern and... and more...
Fingers wormed their way into mine and through that connection I felt the emotion, the river of love, rush over me. It literally took my breath away. I bent my head against his shoulder with a whimper and he rubbed his head against mine. “Heero...” he breathed and I shuddered. His feather-soft voice caressed my rock-like dragon soul and I wrapped my free arm around him, crushing him to me. “I love you, Duo,” I whispered. “I *love* you.” And he was holding me as tightly as I held him, but silently, with no return of sentiment. And I suddenly didn’t care if I ever heard the actual words from his lips; his body, his touch and his brilliant purple eyes were all eloquent enough. We stayed like that, wrapped in each others arms until he murmured in my ear, “Heero, I’m freezing!”
And I remembered that he was barefoot, wearing nothing more than that thin skoor, his hair still damp from his shower, and the ambient air temperature was not that far above freezing. Hard on that realization, a violent shiver racked his body. “Dammit!” I snorted, cursing myself for straying into Banshee Wonderland again. Without thought, I scooped him up in my arms and carried him, shivering in earnest now, back to the house.
“Baka,” I murmured affectionately, dropping the Japanese word without conscious thought. “You think I’ll lick you even more if you’re a Banshee-sicle?”
“Will you?” he giggled around a shudder as I dropped him on the futon. “What flavor am I?”
“My favorite,” I murmured. “Pure, unadulterated, fresh-squeezed Duo...”
He gurgled helplessly, trying not to laugh outright. I unbuttoned the skoor and tossed it over a bench and drew the covering over him. He huddled under the heavy uwabuton, watching as I undressed; lifting the edge in invitation for me to join him.
He slid into my arms immediately, even before I had settled. He was cold, his skin icy and prickled with gooseflesh.
“Why didn’t you say something?” I growled. “Contrary to popular notion, I can’t read your mind.”
“Didn’t want to ruin the mood...” he breathed against my collarbone.
“Nothing could ruin that mood,” I assured him. “I love you,” I said again, believing in positive reinforcement. I could feel his lips smiling against my skin. “Sleep, silly creature.” And for once he did as I told him.
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Date: 2004-09-01 09:19 pm (UTC)Good luck on your job hunt!!
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Date: 2004-09-01 09:22 pm (UTC)I swear I teared up at the end there. Everybody's reactions to he gifts and how the fish remembered Heero's parents were wonderful. This will defiantly make for some sweet dreams tonight (if I ever go to sleep).
<3 Tec
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Date: 2004-09-01 10:37 pm (UTC)what kind of job are you going to be looking for? Whatever it is, best of luck. Hopefully they'll put you in with the sane coworkers this time. ~__^
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Date: 2004-09-02 02:42 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-09-02 07:29 am (UTC)I suppose this chapter merits a review :>
Date: 2004-09-02 01:54 pm (UTC)-TCM
Re: I suppose this chapter merits a review :>
Date: 2004-09-02 05:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-02 05:38 pm (UTC)Oh, I remember the cutesy 'shower with a friend' days. Back then I had almost as much hair as Duo, so I do know how quickly it becomes old and boring.
As for fish... Who knows what goes on in their little heads, but guaranteed if Duo feeds them, they'll remember him.
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Date: 2004-09-02 05:39 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-09-02 06:24 pm (UTC)I guess I'll have to restock the tissues on my desk. *sigh*
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Date: 2004-09-02 08:00 pm (UTC)Got me on the damn re-read when I got home from work too. *sniffle*
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Date: 2004-09-02 09:46 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-09-04 12:55 pm (UTC)*scribbles Costco list down*: tissues, chocolate, more tissues... I'm ready!
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Date: 2004-09-05 08:05 pm (UTC)that's a killable offense! It ranks up there with interrupting your first good sleep after intense, stress related insomnia.
hope you find what you're looking for soon.