Feeling guilty...
Aug. 15th, 2004 09:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lavandarlizard2...at not having posted anything... hm... relevent? So I'm going to start in on the next part full o'parts. This isn't finished yet, but maybe this will kick-start the old brain cells. Or drag the Banshee out of bed for some meaningful work.
BFB Part 079a - Mommie Darling
Great Dragons but he’s adorable when he’s confused!
And my Banshee was certainly confused. Not that I could blame him; I was fairly confused myself. I barely remember seeing my half-siblings just after my parents’ deaths; there was a lot of crying, a lot of whispers... and a lot of hugs. I must have been all of six years old. And then they were gone. I’m not sure if I even knew, back then, who they were. I think I have memories of them being with me; I may even have memories of them being around before my parents died, but they haven’t resurfaced yet.
But I remember them coming before I went away to school. It was something of an event, my departure, since it was rare for a Wyvern, or any Magical Creature for that matter, to be accepted at one of the schools of Wizardry. But they came, and I vaguely remember congratulations and smiles and proud, shining eyes. I never thought to ask where they had gone and why they had never come back. I wonder why not...
IchiBan said that I was very quiet for a long time after my parents died... I wouldn’t think it possible that I could have just forgotten it all, but the mind works in odd ways sometimes, especially in its own defense. Maybe it was just easier for me to cope at that age by ‘forgetting’. IchiBan was always there, and Faiesa and several other adults who took care of me and saw to it that I grew up properly.
“Heero?” That question was filled with anxiety. He wants so much for my Clan to approve of him; I don’t understand why he doesn’t understand that *he* is beautiful, charming and talented and that people everywhere *want* to know him, to be a part of his life. People just plain adore him. It may be his pheromones, it may be his personality, it may be simple lust; it may be something I have no ability to even conceive of, but whatever it is, he is an absolute people-magnet.
Except in his own mind. Which, I suppose, just makes him that much more appealing.
I left off my solitary contemplations to wrap my angel in a hard hug, followed by a firm kiss.
“...um... Wow,” he exhaled when I let him breathe again. “You get really... giddy around your family, don’t you?” It was said lightly, but I could feel the faint tremor of sorrow in him.
He wants the same thing from his own Clan; even as he knows it’s unlikely he will ever have it. Duo and Wufei have a lot in common in that respect.
I snorted. “I am a Wyvern; I do not do ‘giddy’,” I growled. He snorted a laugh back at me.
“Their fathers are really Dragons? The real, all-the-time kind of Dragons?”
“Yes, real all-the-time Dragons. My mother’s father is a Dragon also. Giniro had three children, all by Dragons, or rather by the same Dragon.”
He wrapped his arms around my neck and pressed himself against me from shoulders to knees. “You’re a really Dragonish Wyvern then, aren’t you?”
“You could say that,” I smiled against his soft hair.
“That’s why it was extra important for you to have children, right?”
“Um... Ye~es...” For a moment, it seemed like he might be upset, but then he kissed my cheek lightly.
“You’re a good Wyvern, Heero. No wonder Giniro is so proud of you. No wonder your whole Clan is proud of you.”
Something tightened inside of me and before I had time to examine it, my mouth was moving, dropping words without regard to my brain. “I’d trade every bit of that to hear you tell me that you love me,” I whispered.
He leaned back with a sharp intake of breath. “Oh, no Heero... Don’t say that; your Clan is your *family*. I’m just... just...”
“The Banshee I love,” I finished huskily. “I love you, Duo of Blue Forest; I love you now and forever. You are my Chosen. But I won’t push; I promised I’d let you take your time.”
His eyes were huge, pansy purple and just as velvety. For a brief moment, I could feel his affection, his love for me, a living, breathing, expanding universe of love... But then he seemed to pull everything back into a tight ball, the better to protect his fragile heart.
My heart is fragile also, but it has never been broken the way his has. He asked to come at this in his own time, and I would keep my word to let him.
I took his hand and drew him along after me and we walked, sometimes silently, sometimes talking about my Clan and the sights, for over an hour. We even walked down the road to the town that is under our protection.
The people there know me, as they know all of us from the Clan, and I exchanged greetings with a number of people. I plucked some Yen from my other-space to buy sodas in a small shop and the proprietress slid her glasses down to peer over them at Duo.
“This is the excitement, eh? A Euro Wyvern?” she remarked as she looked him up and down.
“This is Duo, my Chosen, Tenshu-San. He’s not a Dragon; he’s a Banshee.”
“Ah!” She clapped her hands delightedly. “Like Tori! Oh, my! I remember when Nikko brought him the first time! He was so bright! Like sunshine walking!” She leaned a bit in my direction. “He was the first yoroppajin I’d ever seen,” she confided. “All of the girls in town had a crush on him, and half the boys as well!” she laughed. We were speaking Japanese, of which Duo has only a few words, so I translated quickly and was rewarded when he blushed pinkly. He smiled for her and produced a bright purple flower which he offered to her with a magician’s flourish. Clearly, the town would also approve of my Chosen.
We walked back to the Clan-hold after that. Kohaku would probably be early; the female has never been late a moment in her life. I steered Duo back to the sun catchers and we climbed up to relax on the warm rocks.
Duo lay beside me, eyes closed, chuckling occasionally to himself. He gets a kick out of the lizard motif, I think.
Only the first partlet; there will be more...
BFB Part 079a - Mommie Darling
Great Dragons but he’s adorable when he’s confused!
And my Banshee was certainly confused. Not that I could blame him; I was fairly confused myself. I barely remember seeing my half-siblings just after my parents’ deaths; there was a lot of crying, a lot of whispers... and a lot of hugs. I must have been all of six years old. And then they were gone. I’m not sure if I even knew, back then, who they were. I think I have memories of them being with me; I may even have memories of them being around before my parents died, but they haven’t resurfaced yet.
But I remember them coming before I went away to school. It was something of an event, my departure, since it was rare for a Wyvern, or any Magical Creature for that matter, to be accepted at one of the schools of Wizardry. But they came, and I vaguely remember congratulations and smiles and proud, shining eyes. I never thought to ask where they had gone and why they had never come back. I wonder why not...
IchiBan said that I was very quiet for a long time after my parents died... I wouldn’t think it possible that I could have just forgotten it all, but the mind works in odd ways sometimes, especially in its own defense. Maybe it was just easier for me to cope at that age by ‘forgetting’. IchiBan was always there, and Faiesa and several other adults who took care of me and saw to it that I grew up properly.
“Heero?” That question was filled with anxiety. He wants so much for my Clan to approve of him; I don’t understand why he doesn’t understand that *he* is beautiful, charming and talented and that people everywhere *want* to know him, to be a part of his life. People just plain adore him. It may be his pheromones, it may be his personality, it may be simple lust; it may be something I have no ability to even conceive of, but whatever it is, he is an absolute people-magnet.
Except in his own mind. Which, I suppose, just makes him that much more appealing.
I left off my solitary contemplations to wrap my angel in a hard hug, followed by a firm kiss.
“...um... Wow,” he exhaled when I let him breathe again. “You get really... giddy around your family, don’t you?” It was said lightly, but I could feel the faint tremor of sorrow in him.
He wants the same thing from his own Clan; even as he knows it’s unlikely he will ever have it. Duo and Wufei have a lot in common in that respect.
I snorted. “I am a Wyvern; I do not do ‘giddy’,” I growled. He snorted a laugh back at me.
“Their fathers are really Dragons? The real, all-the-time kind of Dragons?”
“Yes, real all-the-time Dragons. My mother’s father is a Dragon also. Giniro had three children, all by Dragons, or rather by the same Dragon.”
He wrapped his arms around my neck and pressed himself against me from shoulders to knees. “You’re a really Dragonish Wyvern then, aren’t you?”
“You could say that,” I smiled against his soft hair.
“That’s why it was extra important for you to have children, right?”
“Um... Ye~es...” For a moment, it seemed like he might be upset, but then he kissed my cheek lightly.
“You’re a good Wyvern, Heero. No wonder Giniro is so proud of you. No wonder your whole Clan is proud of you.”
Something tightened inside of me and before I had time to examine it, my mouth was moving, dropping words without regard to my brain. “I’d trade every bit of that to hear you tell me that you love me,” I whispered.
He leaned back with a sharp intake of breath. “Oh, no Heero... Don’t say that; your Clan is your *family*. I’m just... just...”
“The Banshee I love,” I finished huskily. “I love you, Duo of Blue Forest; I love you now and forever. You are my Chosen. But I won’t push; I promised I’d let you take your time.”
His eyes were huge, pansy purple and just as velvety. For a brief moment, I could feel his affection, his love for me, a living, breathing, expanding universe of love... But then he seemed to pull everything back into a tight ball, the better to protect his fragile heart.
My heart is fragile also, but it has never been broken the way his has. He asked to come at this in his own time, and I would keep my word to let him.
I took his hand and drew him along after me and we walked, sometimes silently, sometimes talking about my Clan and the sights, for over an hour. We even walked down the road to the town that is under our protection.
The people there know me, as they know all of us from the Clan, and I exchanged greetings with a number of people. I plucked some Yen from my other-space to buy sodas in a small shop and the proprietress slid her glasses down to peer over them at Duo.
“This is the excitement, eh? A Euro Wyvern?” she remarked as she looked him up and down.
“This is Duo, my Chosen, Tenshu-San. He’s not a Dragon; he’s a Banshee.”
“Ah!” She clapped her hands delightedly. “Like Tori! Oh, my! I remember when Nikko brought him the first time! He was so bright! Like sunshine walking!” She leaned a bit in my direction. “He was the first yoroppajin I’d ever seen,” she confided. “All of the girls in town had a crush on him, and half the boys as well!” she laughed. We were speaking Japanese, of which Duo has only a few words, so I translated quickly and was rewarded when he blushed pinkly. He smiled for her and produced a bright purple flower which he offered to her with a magician’s flourish. Clearly, the town would also approve of my Chosen.
We walked back to the Clan-hold after that. Kohaku would probably be early; the female has never been late a moment in her life. I steered Duo back to the sun catchers and we climbed up to relax on the warm rocks.
Duo lay beside me, eyes closed, chuckling occasionally to himself. He gets a kick out of the lizard motif, I think.
Only the first partlet; there will be more...
