...this does not make me happy...
Jul. 31st, 2004 06:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lavandarlizard2Sorry; no fic today. Maybe later in the week... Just a whine today.
Why am I logging in every time I turn around? *sigh* Never mind; I probably wouldn't understand the reason anyway.
Hmm... I have seventeen minutes before the child starts gnawing on my ankle; better type fast.
As I said above, just a bit of venting. Opening the wound to extract the infection, and all that crap.
I'm looking for another job - again. I love the job I have, but I do not love the person I work for - namely the production manager. And after being savaged in an email - written because he had just been yelled at and needed someone to vent on - for a supposed error that I never made, regarding a material we don't use, I've had it with him.
I have been asking for regular communication with this character since I started this job, but he doesn't like to talk *with* people, only *at* them. And most of his communication with me comes in the form of over-the-shoulder 'don't-bother-me-nows' flung on his way outside to smoke. He hates email, while I love it as a trail of proof.
The EVP wants us to have more communication; he even told the PM to talk to me a couple times a week, at least. In the twelve working days since then, he has spoken to me exactly zero times. So, I can only conclude that the only times he *will* speak to me, is to try to cover his own ass by dumping on me.
I love what I'm doing - it's the perfect job for me. I love untangling the various administrative threads and making things easier to use. I love increasing the usable database of information. I love learning about the business and the industry - it's quite interesting. I don't even mind being on the phone half the day all that much.
But I cannot deal with someone who is clearly incompetent at the job he was hired to perform, and who hides behind fancy footwork and misdirection to cover his lying ass.
I have PTSD; I react very badly, physically and emotionally, to being threatened in any way. It scrambles my systems for days afterward. I don't sleep; I have trouble concentrating; I even - oh, to be able to put this to productive use! - have trouble eating. And having survived the Husband From Hell, I'm not about to let some jumped-up playground bully control my life.
The company will not succeed with him, but he has a contract, so there is nothing for me to do but leave. I'm not irreplaceable; they will find someone - maybe even someone already there - to do the job. They will not do it as well or with the attention to detail that I have, and they won't think of the little things that I do to make things easier for the execs, but that probably won't matter to anyone but the EVP. I like him a lot; he's a very nice guy, but I'm just a cog, and life will go on.
As an aside, it's nice to realise that I am a valuable person to just about any team; I'll be fine. A few years ago, this would have had me in tears on a regular basis, and feeling terrified, trapped and helpless. Guess there's something to that 'live and learn' crap after all.
Why am I logging in every time I turn around? *sigh* Never mind; I probably wouldn't understand the reason anyway.
Hmm... I have seventeen minutes before the child starts gnawing on my ankle; better type fast.
As I said above, just a bit of venting. Opening the wound to extract the infection, and all that crap.
I'm looking for another job - again. I love the job I have, but I do not love the person I work for - namely the production manager. And after being savaged in an email - written because he had just been yelled at and needed someone to vent on - for a supposed error that I never made, regarding a material we don't use, I've had it with him.
I have been asking for regular communication with this character since I started this job, but he doesn't like to talk *with* people, only *at* them. And most of his communication with me comes in the form of over-the-shoulder 'don't-bother-me-nows' flung on his way outside to smoke. He hates email, while I love it as a trail of proof.
The EVP wants us to have more communication; he even told the PM to talk to me a couple times a week, at least. In the twelve working days since then, he has spoken to me exactly zero times. So, I can only conclude that the only times he *will* speak to me, is to try to cover his own ass by dumping on me.
I love what I'm doing - it's the perfect job for me. I love untangling the various administrative threads and making things easier to use. I love increasing the usable database of information. I love learning about the business and the industry - it's quite interesting. I don't even mind being on the phone half the day all that much.
But I cannot deal with someone who is clearly incompetent at the job he was hired to perform, and who hides behind fancy footwork and misdirection to cover his lying ass.
I have PTSD; I react very badly, physically and emotionally, to being threatened in any way. It scrambles my systems for days afterward. I don't sleep; I have trouble concentrating; I even - oh, to be able to put this to productive use! - have trouble eating. And having survived the Husband From Hell, I'm not about to let some jumped-up playground bully control my life.
The company will not succeed with him, but he has a contract, so there is nothing for me to do but leave. I'm not irreplaceable; they will find someone - maybe even someone already there - to do the job. They will not do it as well or with the attention to detail that I have, and they won't think of the little things that I do to make things easier for the execs, but that probably won't matter to anyone but the EVP. I like him a lot; he's a very nice guy, but I'm just a cog, and life will go on.
As an aside, it's nice to realise that I am a valuable person to just about any team; I'll be fine. A few years ago, this would have had me in tears on a regular basis, and feeling terrified, trapped and helpless. Guess there's something to that 'live and learn' crap after all.
